Maintaining Sanity

I just wanted to point out that yesterday’s post put me over that 10,000 mark. I’m pretty proud of that. But it’s just a small step toward the ultimate goal of 100,000. Today’s post is going to be short and simple because everything I’ve written today has been worthless. To be honest with you, I haven’t really been proud of anything I’ve written in about a month. I liked an article I wrote about the Lakers-Spurs series for talkhoops.net, but I really haven’t liked anything since then. Plus, my hands are killing me right now.

I feel like I’d be going crazy right now if it weren’t for a few things in my life, so here is a list of things keeping me sane – with explanations, in no order of importance.

1. People (keeping it under 25 of age and in ABC order):

A. Ashlyn- My sister is now and will always be my favorite person in the world. Even with a kid she’s still the same person. It doesn’t get any better than that – but my nephew is going to be pretty damn weird. Keep your head up, the only place to go from here is up. I know if anyone can manage a newborn and a full time college schedule it’s you. You know who to call if you need anything. I know we don’t do this, but I love you and only wish the best for you. I’m your biggest fan.

B. Carole- You really helped me get through that first year in Bakersfield and I’m so happy I’ve meet you. I wouldn’t change anything we’ve gone through together because it only strengthened the friendship we have now. I might not be the best at letting you know, but I’m very proud of what you’ve done with your club and I love all of your art work. I’ll be up north anytime I’m not covering something for the paper and I can afford it to support your work. Seriously.

C. Celia- I can’t imagine what these last few months would have been like with you. I hope you know how much you’ve inspired me to become a better writer. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for keeping me on top of my game (both writing and Disney Scene-It hahaha), you’re the person I’ve needed for so long to help get my writing to the next level. I’ll be right behind you with support in every goal you set from now on. You’re an amazing writer and you’re only going to get better. I can’t wait to read your work a year from now and I know people are going to be more than willing to pay to read your work sometime down the line.

D. Davion- Pretty much the brother I never had. I don’t know how I would have survived Tulare or Bakersfield without you. No homo, but I couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime LOL. Keep your head up wodi, if no one else believes in you I do. I know you’ll accomplish any and everything you set your mind to… and more. I know I joke around about hating dancing every once in a while, but you really have a fan in me. You have way too much swag for them other niggas. Just make sure you hook me up with a Kanye interview when you make it big!
E. Eliana- I’m definitely who I am now if it weren’t for you. I know you’ve heard me say this or you’ve read this before, but you really were the only one there for me through the toughest time of my life. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for just being a friend. You might not feel like you did much, but just talking to me and making me laugh meant so much to me. THANK YOU! I know we don’t get to talk much anymore being big time college students and all, but I still love you. I couldn’t have asked God himself to be a better friend. Hope to see you soon!

F. Ellen- I have to thank Carole for introducing me to Ellen. You’ve become one of my favorite people just for being you. Thanks for giving me someone to vent to for you know when hahahaha! You’ve done so many little things for me that you probably don’t even remember doing. You’re just one of the most genuine people I’ve ever meet and I appreciate that. You just need to cut out listening to E-40 – and I’m not kidding hahaha. But really, I’m glad I’ve been blessed to meet you. I can’t wait to have you on the editorial staff next year. No more Eman! Hahaha.

Seriously though, I love you all. Moving on:

2. Basketball
I know the Lakers aren’t going to win three games in a row, but I’ve enjoyed this series nonetheless. It’s been a great cap on an amazing season. I already can’t wait until next year. I’ve always had basketball in my life and I’d probably be as crazy as the rest of my damn family if I didn’t grow up rooting for Nick Van Exel and hating Del Harris. I think basketball keeps me sane because it gives me something to hate as much as it gives me something to love. As much as people say they need love in their life, they need hate just as much, but I digress. I’ll save those thoughts for another blog. Let me just say basketball is a reason I still maintain my sanity.

3. Hip Hop
I’ve really been getting back into hip hop again. I kind of strayed away from it for a while because I grew extremely frustrated by the bullshit that was plaguing the radio, but I’m really back into that good hip hop. I’m back into that old Common, Little Brother, Big Daddy Kane, Run-DMC, Nas, Talib Kweli, Rakim, EPMD, Outkast, Lauryn Hill, Mos Def, Biz Markee, Kanye, Lupe Fiasco and so much more. No more frustration, just no more radio (even though I pretty much cut that out of my life in high school). I’ve spent so much of my time these last few weeks listening to music and it’s been great. I haven’t listened to this much hip hop on a regular daily basis since Stillmatic came out (which I listened to every day for about 5 months). I’m happy with my re-submergence into rap. If you guys know of anyone who is worth listening to, let me know. I’m so open to good hip hop. I need it in my life.

4. Writing
If it weren’t for my ability to put convert my thoughts into words people can understand on a level greater than myself. I really don’t know how to express myself any other way. I’m a terrible conversationalist unless we’re talking about sports or hip hop. I have trouble finding things in common with people, so it’s hard for people to relate to me – in person. I feel that people can better understand me through the written word, and that to me is very powerful. Without the written word, I’d never be able to tell anyone anything of importance because I just don’t know how to do it any other way. I’d literally be going insane right now if I weren’t able to communicate with people through words. I’ve even sent a few messages to a few friends (if I’m even calling them that anymore) in this blog without really saying anything. For them to read this – which they won’t – they’ll know exactly where they stand in my eyes. I less than three writing.

So, it wasn’t as short as I thought it would be, but you get the point. I’d be crazy without any of what I just wrote about. I’m not even kidding. I’m going to have arthritis if I have more days like today, but it’s only getting me closer to that 100,000. Hopefully I’ll have that Ms. Hill blog up within the next few days. No promises though. It’s incredibly hard to write about something perfect. The Miseducation is that great.

Make sure you guys give your dad’s a call tomorrow – unless they don’t deserve it. Then fuck them and buy yourself a drink. Until tomorrow,

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 12,178
92 days and 87,822 words to go)