Tuesday, June 30, 2009

No texts for two weeks!

It has come to my attention that I spend way too much of my time on my cell phone. There is nothing less intrinsically satisfying than knowing that you rely way too much of your communication to others through text messaging. I used to be one of those guys who hated to text, and for some reason I feel like I do, but that’s not what the numbers are telling me.

(Note: before you read the next paragraph, please realize that A) I am fully aware that I am somewhat of a nerd, B) I work at an incredibly boring job, and C) I had nothing else to do)

For some reason, I haven’t deleted a single text message from my phone since the beginning of September. I don’t think any phone should have the power to hold the number of text messages that I’ve received in the last month, much less almost a year’s worth. In that month of September, I sent 238 text messages, an average of just about eight text messages per day. Since June 22 until Noon on June 30, I sent exactly 500 text messages, an average of 62 and a half text messages per day. 446 of those were from women, and 23 of them were from ESPN giving me updates on the Giants (since without a special package, I rarely get to see Giants games televised). 32 of those text messages were from dudes, and of those 24, six were from guys I either work with or I write for, which leaves 18 from guys who are actually my friends (and that number was only that high because the NBA Draft just happened).

Now, I don’t see any reason why I need to be sending out a quarter-ton text messages every eight days, that’s almost the pace for 2,000 per month. I realize nearly 75 percent of my friends are women (yes, I did go through the Myspace and Facebook friends lists and added all of my friends who I ether text from time to time, or who I’d hand out with on the weekends – I love numbers and I can admit it), but again, there is no reason to have over 500 text messages in a week’s time.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that, starting July 1, I will go two solid weeks without texting anyone, which means, from the time I pay my rent until the time I get paid again, I’m not sending anyone any texts. It’s going to be a hard, grueling half-month considering that my propensity to text instead of call has grown to a point I would have never thought it would reach in a million years (you know, because, I’m under the impression I can live millions of years). I’ll be documenting my struggles without my once hated, but now needed text messaging, maybe a new post every two or three days. It’s going to be epic, but hopefully I’ll come out of this with an independence that I’ve never had before. I remember the days where I could just leave my phone in my room for hours and not worry about it, now, I can’t even wear basketball shorts without pockets (because I’ll never wear a phone clip) for fear of missing a message.

From tomorrow morning until the morning of the 15th, if you need to get a hold of me, don’t text, because it won’t be responded to. I’m going to do my best to even resist the temptation to look at them. It’s about to get serious folks. Hopefully I can last (that’s what she said).

-Stay Hideous

Slaughterhuose slaughtered it




Slaughterhouse, a group consisting of Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Royce da 5’9’’ and Crooked I, dropped this ridiculous group freestyle over the D.O.A. beat. Everyone was enjoyable, but by the time Joell Ortiz got off the track, the track, the beat had been murdered. It was a ridiculous performance from Ortiz, I was just in my office bobbing the hell out of my head ignoring my duties until this 18+ minute track finally ended (yes, over 18 fucking minutes!) I’ve liked a lot of what I’ve heard from what they’ve put out as a group, and I LOVE their mixtape, but if they keep putting out shit like this, they’re going to become my favorite hip-hop group of all time. I can’t wait for their album to drop next month. They’re all talented lyricists with something different to offer, what is what separates them from other groups. There is either one really good artist and a few bums or everyone sounds the same, groups like this are far and few between.

If you guys have 18 minutes to spare, it is well worth it. Check it out. Below I’ve posted my favorite lines from everyone.


zSHARE - slaughterhouse-ondaspot_freestyle.mp3

Shared via AddThis


Royce da 5’9’’
I just don’t sound raw
I disconnect your shit and have you walking around with Bobby Brown Jaw
And then Whitney said ‘crack is whack’
And it offended me like, floozy, why you dissing my music?

Joe Budden
I swear to God I was placed in this decade by mistake
I don’t belong here
Dad fucked mom in the wrong year
Wrong nigga amongst fans with wrong ears
Wrong trends, with funny sounds every song sounds weird
Wrong fashion, it’s like every nigga has gone queer

Joell Ortiz
I’m in tune with what the gutta loves
I get on beats and son niggas like a mother does
They hear me and are like ‘aiyo, that brotha’s bomb’
They hear you they like ‘oh no, not another thug’
You chase bitches who don’t want a scrub
I’ve fucked project bitches on the roof with a rubber glove
We two different dudes
I be getting praised you be getting booed
I feed niggas, you just niggas food
You be getting chewed like whack grits
Every time I’m getting chewed it’s a bad bitch

Crooked I
Pistols say we in combat
I spaz out like a crazy Vietnam cat
It’s young cooked
Yeah you had a leg but my punk took it
Now you hip-hop ‘cuz you one footed

Monday, June 29, 2009

How to be deleted from my friend's list: Part 1

Matthew Todd I just hit you with the Sea Turtle Pillow! You have 2 days to hit back, or you lose!
Matthew started a Pillow Fight with you.

Matthew has started a Pillow Fight with you! You can give up... or you can accept the challenge, pick your pillow and hit back! Let's see who wins!

4 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · » Hit Back «

----------------------

The above is not a joke. I really did have a friend on Facebook named Matthew Todd. And yes, this fucker really really tried to start a pillow fight with me via Facebook.

At first glance, I didn't really notice it, I just thought he posted some shit about sea turtles, but the second time I saw it, I was like, "What the fuck?!?"

I can't imagine me ever wanting to engage in a pillow fight, let alone with some dude who I really never talked to in high school. I mean, I knew who he was, so I accepted his friend request, but had I known he was going to be electronically pelting me with sea turtle pillows, I would have never added him to begin with.

I can't think of anything gayer than starting an electronic pillow fight. Actual gay people are less gay than electronic pillow fights. I don't think I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to start an electronic pillow fight with a girl, so there is no way in hell I'm going to tolerate some dude starting one with me. I mean, why would you even consider that shit? Why? I am at a loss for words.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Who Was Luckier? Us or Shaq?

[Note: This article originally appears on Talkhoops.net

You may have already read 7,635,425 blogs and articles answering the pressing question of: Will the Shaq for Cracker Jacks trade work for the Cavaliers. The short answer: No. And that's all you're getting out of me on that one. I'm here to answer a more interesting question: Is Shaq the luckiest big man of all time - or are we the lucky ones?

With Shaq moving to Cleveland, he is paired up with Lebron James, the fifth time the Big Something or Other (© Celia Kelly) has been paired up with a great parameter player. It started in Orlando with Penny Hardaway, he moved to Los Angeles to play with Kobe Bryant, moved back to Florida to play with Dwyane Wade, shifted his weight to Arizona and played with Steve Nash and is now with one of the most freakish athletes we've ever seen? Again, I ask, who has been luckier, Shaq or us?

Off top, it seems like this answer would undeniably be Shaq. However, we've got to see the greatest center of this era, and one of the most candid athletes of all time, play with some of the most exciting basketball players of the last decade, and we're just months away from seeing him team up with the most exciting in the game now.

Has a center ever been more blessed to play with more future Hall of Famers than Shaq? Kareem got to play with Oscar Robertson and Magic Johnson. Wilt played with Elgin Baylor and Jerry West. Russell played with Bob Cousy. Olajuwon played with Clyde Drexler, but that was at the end of his career. The most exciting perimeter player Robinson played with was Rod Strickland, and had Ginobili as a rookie as he was leaving the league. Ewing had John Starks, Xavier McDaniel and Larry Johnson. None of those lists jump out at you like Penny, Kobe, Wade, Nash and Lebron - no second name needed for any of them.

[Click here to check out the rest of this article at Talkhoops.net]

-Stay Hideous
Word Count: 2,051

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A box of chips!

I have to thank Ed The Sports Fan for sharing this link with his friends via Facebook.



The first paragraph gave me the giggles:

"OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A woman has been fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges after she was accused of accepting a box of chips for sex."



If nothing says the economy is bad it is definitely a prostitute accepting a $30 box of chips for sex.



Oklahoma: Where new prostitution lows happen.



-Stay Hideous

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Clipse featuring Kanye West - Kinda Like a Big Deal Video





This is the first single from The Clipse's new album "'Til The Casket Drops" featuring Kanye West. I love the song, I love the production, and it's the best Kanye verse I've heard in a year. I'm glad to see The Clipse back and I can't wait to hear the new album.

-Stay Hideous

Monday, June 22, 2009

I have a lot of writing to do

I have a lot of writing to do.


A lot of writing is neither an understatement or an overstatement, it’s just the truth. I have to average 1,177 words over the next 85 days to reach 100,000 words before the fall quarter of my last year as an undergrad at California State University, Bakersfield begins. To some, 100,000 words may seem like a lot, but for me it is a goal that I’ve tried to reach once, and failed miserably due to my laziness.

If you followed me last summer, you would know that I’ve tried to get to 100k and fell just over 36,000 words short. Again, for some, that may seem like a lot, but it isn’t in the scope of things. I wrote well over 60 percent of the words that I wanted to write while going well over 40 days of not writing. Let’s say that all of my posts from last summer were in consecutive days, that would have set my pace for 1,217.25 words per day (yes, I sat down and did the math). Considering that I left 48 days on the table and the fact that I was writing over 1,200 words per day, I know I would have written well over 121k for the summer (121,725 to be exact). Knowing this makes it much easier for me to sit down and confidently say that my goal of 100,000 words for this summer is definitely within reach.


Why 100,000 words? Well, the answer is two-fold. The first is because I tried to do it last year and I failed. I need to redeem my self. The second is because I need to write more. I spent last summer trying to write as much as possible just to get in the habit of writing all the time. This year I have a purpose. I need to become a better writer technically. I’ll be printing and editing all of my posts before you see them. I need to realize what mistakes I’m making, figure out why I keep making them, and then figure out how to stop making these mistakes. There will always be jobs for people who can write. I just need to become a better writer than the next guy and I can’t get better unless I write as much as possible.


Last summer I was very sporadic with my posts. I was writing about everything, which really is not going to do me any good this summer. This summer I’ll be focused on three things: Sports, Music and Samuel L. Jackson movies. From time to time I’ll post something completely random or some thoughts on current event x or book or movie y, but for the most part, this summer will be sports, music and Samuel L. Jackson movies.


With that, I have some research and a lot of writing to do.


-Stay Hideous

Word Count: 480