Monday, June 30, 2008

College Basketball Notebook (6/30/08)

Since I’m a Giant’s fan (baseball, not football), this is the worst part of the year for me. We’re past the NBA Finals, the NBA Draft and the Giants are the third best team in a division where the first place team is only .500. Kill me. With that being said, my College Basketball Notebook is back. I’ll be having new articles on college hoops weekly (hopefully I don’t run out of things to write about before the season starts in November – good luck to me, but I really couldn’t wait to get started because I’m already excited about the upcoming season (especially with the return of Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington and Danny Green going back to Chapel Hill for yet another title run).

Without a Lakers championship to celebrate (or a Sports Illustrated subscription to enjoy) I’ll take this time to look forward to the teams to watch out for in the 2008-2009 college basketball season. This week, I’ll tackle who I feel are the top five teams on paper going into next season. I planned on writing about my top five teams not in the top five to look out for, my top five teams who will remain relevant even with a key player loss and a few other topics, but I’ve decided to spread the wealth throughout the summer. With that being said, I present to you my pre-pre season Top 5

1. North Carolina:
If you’re a North Carolina fan, you couldn’t be more excited about the upcoming season. With the NCAA Player of the Year, Tyler Hansbrough (22.6 ppg, 10.2 rpg), not even testing the draft waters and key names in Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington and Danny Green removing themselves off of the draft boards at the last minute means anything less than a Final Four appearance will be a disappointment – but isn’t that always the case in Chapel Hill? Both Deon Thompson and Alex Stephenson started to pick up their games toward the end of the season and Bobby Frasier should be back from his knee injury to back up Lawson.

Biggest Question: Will this team find a way to the tile game? I think so. This is the same core that fell apart against Georgetown in the Elite Eight in 2007 and didn’t show up against Kansas in the Final Four of 2008. Much like the team that won the title in 2005, this will be their third shot at it together and to be honest, the playing field doesn’t seem as tough as the previous two seasons. It’ll be tough to pick against them if everyone stays healthy.

Key losses: Quentin Thomas (SR) – if you really want to count him.
Notable Freshmen: Tyler Zeller (PF); Ed Davis (PF); Larry Drew (PG)

2. Pittsburgh:
One of the scary things about Pitt is that no one who doesn’t really follow college basketball knows who the real star of this team is. We’ve all heard about LeVance Fields (who may be my favorite point guard in the country) and DeJuan Blair – even Mike Cook got a considerable amount of love while healthy last season, but the return of Sam Young (18 points per, 6.3 rebounds per game and Big East Tourney MVP) has made Pitt one of next season’s favorites. The balance of Fields at the point, Young on the wings and Blair in the paint makes this one of the most complete teams in the nation. Since Cook will probably be back for another year because of another injury plagued season, Pitt will be very tough next season.

Biggest Question: Will Mike Cook be healthy? Cook can be the deal breaker with this team especially with Ronald Raymond and Keith Benjamin gone. The core of this team is going to have to carry them, and the load will be much lighter if Cook is healthy. Hopefully some of the incoming freshmen can contribute the way LeVance Fields did last season.

Key Losses: Ronald Raymond (SR), Keith Benjamin (SR)
Notable Freshmen: Nasir Robinson (SF); Travon Woodall; Ashton Gibbs

3. Notre Dame
Notre Dame is one of those schools people don’t pay attention to because they’re not a traditional basketball school, however, the fighting Irish feature the Big East’s best player in Luke Harangody (20.4 ppg, 10.6 rpg). Harangody will be back with the same solid backcourt in Troy Jackson (who has one of the best all around games in the nation) and McAlarney (who can score with the best of them) and a wealth of other solid role players. Notre Dame should be a top three team in the Big East this season and should play well into March.

To catch the rest of this College Basketball Notebook, be sure to check out talkhoops.net sometime tonight or tomorrow morning. My last two picks may come as a surprise to those of you who know me.

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 27,592
76 days and 72,408 words to go)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Lotery Mock Draft

With the NBA Draft looming just hours away, Celia Kelly and Phillip Barnett have decided that it was time for them to run through picks 1 through 30 and give their own unorthodox Mock Draft. The picks were made via AIM, so enjoy the conversation in its entirety, un-cut. (Children under 17 are not allowed without parental supervision.)

Phillip: We should do a fantasy NBA draft, but with no basketball players
Celia: Wait what?
Celia: I’m confused?
Phillip: Instead of drafting basketball players, we should have the teams draft like celebrities or something based on what they need
Phillip: Just making fun of the draft really
Celia: Okay.
Celia: Give me an example.
Phillip: I don't really have one yet haha
Celia: Lame
Celia: Think about your idea before you start pitching it
Celia: LOL
Phillip: I just saw this mock draft on ESPN.com and thought about it haha
Phillip: Calm down

1. On the Clock: Chicago Bulls

Celia: Can we use regular people?
Celia: Like the bulls should draft me because I’m a boss?
Phillip: hahahahahahaha
Celia: I’m not kidding
Phillip: Do they need a boss?
Celia: Yes.
Celia: Everyone needs a boss
Celia: Are you kidding?
Phillip: Then they should most definitely draft you
Celia: Exactly.
Celia: Everybody needs me actually.
Celia: But the only place I'd go is Chicago
Phillip: lololololol
Phillip: See, it’s already hilarious


2. On the Clock: Miami Heat

Celia: Your turn.
Celia: Who is Miami drafting?
Celia: Star Jones?
Phillip: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Celia: I’m serious.
Phillip: hahahahahahahahahahaha
Phillip: You’re too good at this.
Celia: Somebody has to keep D. Wade healthy next season since his wife left his ass.
Celia: Rawr... (cougar sound)
Phillip: hahahahahaha
Phillip: I think if we wrote it conversational style and just had the list of who the teams drafted at the end, it would be fucking hilarious.
Celia: Agreed.
Celia: Let’s just copy and paste this conversation.
Phillip: hahahaha
Phillip: With the hahahas and lolololols too
Celia: Okay I'm winning I have the first two.
Celia: Yeeeahhh
Celia: With the lol's and hahaha's

3. On the Clock: Minnesota Timberwolves

Celia: Your turn...
Celia: Minnesota...
Celia: They're next right?
Phillip: Yeah
Phillip: I wish I was better at this
Phillip: hahahahahahaha
Celia: C'mon lefty.
Celia: Minnesota??
Celia: I know I know Mrs. Butterworth
Phillip: I was thinking Aunt Jemima
Celia: Ms. Butterworth is trying to make a comeback with that Geico Commercial
Phillip: We have to go Aunt Jemima, she’s obviously more athletic
Celia: What, look at the bottles! Mrs. Butterworth actually has a body.
Phillip: Aunt Jemima has a body too. She’s wearing a dress.
Celia: No she’s not. She’s wearing an apron.
Phillip: An apron over her dress
Celia: No. Just an apron
Phillip: hahahaha just an apron with no back
Celia: Ew.
Phillip: It’s obvious that Butterworth is white and Aunt Jemima is black. Jemima is going to be more athletic whereas Butterworth will have that silky smooth jumpshot.
Celia: How do you know she’s white? You’ve never seen her.
Phillip: I heard her on the commercial. She’s white. I mean, look at her hair.
Celia: Just because she has that perm doesn’t mean shit
Phillip: She doesn’t have a perm
Celia: Yes she does, she has that Just For Me kit
Phillip: hahahahahaha
Celia: How do you know Butterworth is white?
Phillip: Butterworth is a white last name
Celia: Aunt Jemima is Mexican
Phillip: What? Hahahaha Jemima is a super ethnic name. You can find Jemimas in ghettos across the nation
Celia: Jemima is a Mexican name. I know a whole bunch of Mexicans named Jemima.
Phillip: Hahahaha No you don’t. Besides, if she was Mexican, she would be Tia Jemima.
Celia: hahahahahaha
Celia: Brook Lopez’s aunt is Tia Jemima
Celia: I have some Tia Jemima at home
Phillip: Hahahaha
Celia: They sell that at the Mercado Latino
Phillip: What is that?
Celia: It’s the Mexican Montgomery Ward
Celia: How have you never heard of it?
Phillip: Why would I ever want to go there?
Celia: I don’t know. You know all kinds of Mexicans
Celia: Ask Wendy if she’s ever been there. No, ask her if she’s ever worked there.
Phillip: I’m not asking her shit.
Celia: Ask her if she’s ever been to Ranch Market. I’m sure she used to work there.
Phillip: What does the Ranch Market have to do with anything?
Celia: Just ask if she use to work there.
Celia: But Mrs. Butterworth already a spokes person for Geico. They need someone to bring attention to them since KG is gone. They’ll get all kinds of endorsements because of her.
Phillip: Whatevuh (in Charles Barkley’s voice). We’ll go Butterworth. Moving on.

4. On the Clock: Seattle Supersonics

Celia: Okay who's next?
Phillip: Seattle
Celia: ohhhhh....
Celia: Magic Johnson.
Phillip: What? LOLOL why?
Celia: He's putting all those damn Starbucks up in the hood.
Celia: He has to be some kind of good to the team.
Celia: That and they need a point guard.
Celia: If Kevin Durant is going to average 40 next season.
Celia: That one is up for change though... Until I find a better one.
Celia: They should probably draft Seattle
Phillip: They?
Phillip: I think Seattle should get Ice Cube
Celia: Seattle should draft the city.
Celia: Ice Cube why?
Phillip: He was the best barber on barber shop, and Kevin Durant really needs a barber
Celia: Good call.

5. On the Clock: Memphis Grizzlies

Phillip: Memphis
Celia: Sammy Davis Junior
Phillip: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG hahahahahaha
Phillip: Explain yourself
Celia: I don’t have a reason.
Celia: Just thought he'd fit well there.
Celia: Next
Phillip: You almost made me spit out Gatorade all over my computer when you said 'I don’t have a reason.'
Celia: They didn’t have a reason for trading Pau.
Celia: So it’s even.
Celia: Right?

6. On the Clock: New York Knicks (Note: To avoid future confusion this pick was made after the draft was completed)

Phillip: New York is next
Celia: Oh God this is easy.
Celia: Spike Lee
Phillip: I can go with that
Celia: Good.
Celia: But I'm sure I’ll come up with a better one.
Celia: You’re going to New York because that’s your favorite team
Phillip: What? They’re not my favorite team
Celia: Yes they are.
Celia: They need some more light skinned niggas over there
Phillip: I’ll be the second coming of John Starks
Phillip: Wait, I thought I was already being drafted to Toronto
Celia: Well, you’re being traded, for nothing. Toronto doesn’t get a pick because they’re in Canada.
Phillip: hahahahahahaha

7. On the Clock: Los Angeles Clippers

Phillip: Clippers
Celia: Hummm....
Phillip: I think they should draft Moses
Celia: hahahahahahaha
Phillip: They need miracles over there
Celia: You're getting it!!!
Celia: Yay!!
Phillip: haha
Celia: I can’t remember who I was going to say.

8. On the Clock: Milwaukee Bucks

Phillip: Pillsbury or the Hamburger Helper Glove?
Celia: I’m for the glove
Celia: Because he has hands
Phillip: He doesn’t have hands, he is a hand
Phillip: Pillsbury has hands
Celia: No he's overweight
Celia: He wouldn’t make it past pre camp
Phillip: If Eddie Curry can make it past pre-camp, Pillsbury can
Celia: Naw man
Celia: Pillsbury is short and fat
Celia: Who needs that?
Phillip: Fans love that though
Celia: The glove is right handed and left handed
Celia: Beat that
Phillip: hahahahaha
Phillip: Milwaukee needs fan support
Celia: Do you know how many people love the glove?
Phillip: Pillsbury will be what Khlid El Amin would have been
Celia: Naw cuz
Phillip: You don’t even like hamburger helper!
Celia: Actually I hate it.
Celia: But what does that mean?
Phillip: And Jay-Z dissed the Glove
Celia: I hate the Lakers but i watch them.
Celia: YEAH he did
Phillip: hahahahaha
Phillip: Pillsbury would be a beast on the boards
Celia: How?
Celia: He can't even jump high
Phillip: Just like Charles Barkley
Phillip: Are you kidding?
Celia: If it were me I'd just tickle his ass
Celia: Done.
Phillip: I'm going to have to find you that commercial where he shows off his hops
Phillip: hahaha
Celia: Naw man
Celia: That doesn’t exist
Celia: This mutha fucka makes biscuits and cookies
Celia: He's a fat ass
Celia: The glove is making meals
Celia: For low income homes.
Celia: He's a philanthropist
Celia: Beat that.
Phillip: hahahahahaha
Phillip: NBA Cares
Phillip: He's already on it
Celia: See.
Celia: I win cuz.
Phillip: LOLOLOL
Celia: you lose.
Phillip: Calm down wodi
Celia: You calm down.
Phillip: I stay calm
Celia: No you don't
Phillip: When have I ever not been calm?
Celia: Everyday.
Phillip: whoa whoa whoa
Celia: Anyway.

9. On the Clock: Charlotte Bobcats

Phillip: The Bobcats
Celia: MJ
Phillip: Somehow I knew you were going to say that.
Celia: Micheal Jackson
Celia: Not Jordan
Phillip: Again, I almost spit Gatorade all over this computer.
Celia: hahahahahaha
Celia: He has the same initials... and he has mad defense... see that old video when they played one on one
Phillip: I have the picture of them playing on my myspace
Celia: Yes.
Celia: Classic
Celia: Next

10. On the Clock: New Jersey Nets

Phillip: The Nets
Celia: Memphis Bleek
Phillip: I was thinking Beanie Siegel
Celia: Beans is a better one.
Celia: Good job
Phillip: Because of that kanye line...
Celia: Which one?
Phillip: I have to think of it, but it's something about him dunking
Celia: That and he'd be hilarious playing basketball
Phillip: hahaha
Celia: Okay
Phillip: I'm going to find it real quick
Celia: Good
Phillip: "...when I kicked the flow, it was like a pick and roll/ cuz even if he gave me the ROC, it's give and go/ I guess Beans' style was more of a slam dunk/ and my shit was more like a finger roll/ but I got them singles yo..."
Celia: Yesss
Celia: So beans?
Phillip: Yeahhhhhhh
Celia: Boss

11. On the Clock: Indiana Pacers

Celia: Who's next?
Phillip: The Pacers lol
Celia: Ed the Sports Fan
Celia: hahahahahahahahahaha
Celia: Post that picture of him when he was a kid
Celia: In that basketball uniform
Celia: hhahahahahahahaha
Phillip: I knew you were going to say that hahahaha
Celia: Is that why you said lol?
Phillip: Yeah
Celia: ok
Phillip: p.s. ABA titles don’t count lol
Celia: LOL

12. On the Clock: Sacramento Kings

Phillip: The kings are next
Celia
: Damn.
Celia: Ummm
Celia: Ron Artest’s R&B group he manages
Celia: That way he won’t miss anymore games
Phillip: hahahahaha
Phillip: Or maybe the other members of B2K so he can manage them too
Celia: That works.
Celia: Like Raz-B or something.
Phillip: hahahah perfect
Phillip: I'm not going to stop laughing at Raz-B now hahaha
Celia: hahahahahaha

13. On the Clock: Portland Trailblazers

Celia: Portland is up.
Phillip: Aiight
Phillip: Jailblazers
Phillip: They need to go back to their roots
Celia: Kunta Kinte
Phillip: ROOOOOOOOTS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Celia: hahahahahahahahaha
Phillip: Fucking Hilarious hahahahaha
Phillip: That is going to be so funny when we write this out conversational style
Celia: I know.
Celia: Damn.
Celia: Kunta Kinte...hahahahaha
Celia: Roots.
Celia: hahahahahaha
Celia: Who's up next.

14. On the Clock: Golden State Warriors

Phillip: Warriors
Celia: Mickey Mouse
Phillip: I'm thinking Uncle Ben
Phillip: Mickey Mouse hahahahaha
Celia: Uncle Ben?!
Celia: Why?
Phillip: I don't know, he’s already in the area
Celia: Who is Uncle Ben? The rice guy?
Celia: He's from The Bay?
Celia: Or we could use Dr. Jackson.
Celia: She's available.
Phillip: Wait, what rice is 'The San Francisco Treat?"
Phillip: hahahahahahahahaha
Phillip: Jackson!!!!!!!
Celia: I don’t know
Celia: LOL
Celia: Jackson.
Celia: She goes dumb
Phillip: Jackson and B-Diddy would be unstoppable
Phillip: I don’t know how she slipped so far
Celia: I was saying Mickey because if he was around all the time Boom Dizzle would concentrate on getting to the playoffs
Phillip: hhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa
Celia: If he saw him on the regular he wouldn’t be so excited to take his family there when season's over.
Celia: Ya diggg?
Phillip: hahahahahahahaha
Celia: So which one? Jackson or Mickey?
Phillip: Great explanation
Celia: Or maybe not even Mickey... lets just draft Disney Scene-It.
Celia: It’s all the characters.
Celia: Like going to Disney Land at home
Phillip: hahahaha
Phillip: Pretty much
Celia: Does it have to be a real person?
Celia: Could it be a board game?
Phillip: Hell yeah it could be a bored game.
Phillip: No to it having to be a real person.
Celia: Okay.
Celia: Boss.
Celia: Next

(You can check out the rest of our first round picks at talkhoops.net. I won't count these words. Still where I was last time. I'll be back soon.)