Samuel L. Jackson is an icon; this much we know. Throughout his career he has given us myriad amazing performances that have left us shocked, confused and dying of laughter. Because
1. Hair style (included facial hair)
2. Memorable lines
3. Unusual circumstances (will vary significantly from movie to movie)
4. Overall quality of film
The hairstyle, memorable line and unusual circumstances categories will be out of 30 points and the overall quality of film section will be out of 10 points making it 100 possible points for each movie. As I watch the movies, I’ll write short reviews and the movie with the highest score will be deemed the ultimate Sam Jackson experience.
I’ve watched five SLJ movies in the past two weeks and I’ll be doing these reviews two at a time. Being reviewed today:
Lake
When I first saw the previews for this movie I have to say that I was extremely excited to see it because it had the potential to be one of the funniest movies of all time, and I have to say that I was pretty disappointed with the outcome. The movie is about an interracial couple who move in next door to a cop (Sam Jackson) who doesn’t appreciate their relationship because his wife died while with a white man while she should have been at work. The couple struggles to live a peaceful life with the cop interfering with their everyday life activities.
Hair Style: 10 pts
In this movie Sam Jackson is bald. I think he has a mustache, I don’t really feel like looking it up. I originally gave this only seven points, but looking back, he’s a weird looking bald-headed dude and that adds to the unintentional comedy.
Memorable lines: 18 pts
This would have been a lot higher if I actually remembered what he said verbatim or if I remembered why he said it, but he did say something along the lines of, “You better tell that talkative bitch to shut-up!” Of course, this line had me dying, but days later, I can’t really remember the exact words, so it can’t be scored too high.
Unusual circumstances: 26 pts
There was one specific scene where
Overall quality of film: 6 pts
I was able to follow the film without getting too bored, but I expected much more from a film with Sam Jackson and this premise. It wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t too good either. Average films get average scores.
Overall score: 60 pts
The score was definitely hurt by
Jumper
Jumper is something that I originally had no interest in because the premise seemed incredibly ridiculous. The trailor had a tone that I felt could only be appreciated by guys who played that Magic card game in middle school (so embarrassing). The idea is there are people in the world who have the ability to transport anywhere in the world at any time and there are people who will do anything in their power to stop these “jumpers.” Incredibly corny to say the least.
Hair Style: 26 pts
This is about the only thing that the movie got right, Sam Jackson has a short cut dyed silver a la a mid-90s Sisqo. What would possess anyone to dye their hair silver – or require Sam Jackson to do so. I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s hilarious. To be honest, this may have been the only reason I decided to watch the movie – the only reason.
Memorable lines: 1 pt
The only line I can remember him saying is, “Only God should have the ability to be all places at all times!” I would have given this a zero if he didn’t yell that line.
Unusual Circumstances: 0 pts
Granted, this movie was unusual to say the least, but there was no point in this movie where
Overall quality of film: 3 pts
The movie was just interesting enough for me to have the ability to sit through it. I thought about giving it a four, but that would have made the over all score a 31, and well, Reggie Miller has annoyed the hell out of me these past couple of years.
Overall Score: 30 pts
This score was hurt by the movie being border-line awful in all aspects.
Up Next: Soul Men and Amos and Andrew
2 comments:
When he was undoing his pants in Lakeview Terrace, I admit I felt mildly uncomfortable. I also believe he called the guys wife a mouthy bitch. hahaha
I don't know what you are going to say about Amos and Andrew...did you even get through the whole movie? hahahahah
Because of this, I'm never going to see Jumper.
After his daughter goes of on her “you’re embarrassing and stay out of my life” spiel, Jackson cocks back and slaps the fuck out of her. I wish I had more hands so I could have gave that scene four thumbs up. Absolutely hilarious.
I about died reading that, looking forward to more reviews of The Great SLJ.
-Ed.
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