Strictly Hideous

The Dawn Of A New Era

2009-08-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've had friends and family alike asking me why I haven't been writing lately. Well, the answer to that is two-fold. I actually HAVE been writing, a lot; it's just that I've felt like I needed to go back to my roots to move forward with where I want to be. I've been back in the notebooks and off of the computer screen and have seen improvements in my creativity and differences in my thought processes. When you do things a certain way for so long, you get stuck in those ways and things become too repetitive. However, that is only the beginning.

I'm also beginning a couple of new projects. The first, has officially begun today. I'm going to be writing for, and being paid by the trufan network to write about Southern California basketball, mainly the Lakers, Clippers, UCLA and USC, albeit I'll pretty much have free range on the blog and write about whatever the hell I want to write about. I posted my first blog today, which you can read here, and will maintain the same name as this blog. Please check it out and I'll keep you updated via facebook, myspace and, when I get around to creating my account, twitter.

The second project is currently in the works right now. I'm working on creating a blog that is all about California basketball. Lakers, Clippers, Kings, Warriors, USC, UCLA, Stanford, CAL, smaller D1 colleges, and some high school coverage. I'm hoping to have that site up by the end of September. Right now I'm working on how I want the site run, recruiting writers (please let me know if you'd like to contribute to any of the afore mentioned teams or if you know anyone who would be interested), and networking with other bloggers to help get the site some readership as soon as possible. It all begins today and I'm excited. It's going to be a lot of work, time consuming and stressful considering I'm going into my last school year, will still be covering as many sporting events as possible for my school's newspaper and contributing to talkhoops.net for everything I write outside of California basketball.

I'm still debating on whether or not I want to continue my education into grad school, but It's looking like I'm going to make a pass on that, so I got to get on my grind now and pound out as many words, up as many blog posts, and have as many by lines as possible before I graduate (292 days, but who's counting).

It's the dawn of a new era ladies and gentlemen.

No Texting Days 7-9: The Countdown Officially Starts

2009-07-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

I think there has to be a point in everyone’s life where you go through something so brutal that you just want to do brutal things to other things. I think, although I may be a little extreme at this point, this non-texting experiment is that point in my life. No joke, as I type this intro to days seven through nine, my phone is actually vibrating. I’m sitting in Boarders, my down the street sanctuary to get away from everything, and like a dumb ass I brought my phone with me, something I usually don’t do. It seems as if the longer I go without sending a text message, the more violent the vibrations on my phone become. This flimsy table I’m sitting at almost fell apart. The vibrations are loud and aggressive to the point to where the two older women at the table in front of me both turned around to see what the ruckus was. “It’s just this damn phone, ma’am,” I said to the women who looked like the eldest of the two. I want to throw this shit across the room and hope to hit the obese gentleman who I saw earlier in the Health & Medicine portion of the store. Every text I get, especially the hilarious ones or the ones about sports, makes me want to take a kitten and throw it against a wall, or a chain linked fence. I sound like a drama queen now. Not texting is not a good idea.

Day 7

I just woke up on the day that will complete my first whole week of not texting, and woke up to a message that has been one of the hardest not to respond to. “I just saw the episode of family guy where the dude was like ‘I bet you can’t do this’ while he was shimmying in the mirror. Hahahahahaha.” Very few people know why this was so hard to respond to. A few years back, my sister and I were flipping through channels and came across this cartoon we had never seen before. As fast as we could ask what the hell the show was, we were in tears because Tom Tucker, the news caster on Family Guy was shirtless in the mirror saying, “I bet you can do this,” before he proceeded to shimmy. My sister and I joked about that scene for years and barely found out that it was Family Guy a year ago. I can’t believe I can’t text her knowing this is the first time either of us had seen that scene since the first time we saw it. It’s killing me that I can’t respond, however, life continues.

I just got a text message from Celia that says, “Mark Nessia was having a good day… until he got on the scale. Definitely not recession proof.” Mark Nessia was my photo editor who got on our nerves on the school newspaper (Celia was the sports editor). Anything about Mark being fat or someone or something not being recession proof is going to crack me up, the simple fact that she combined both in one text message is killing me with laughter. Speaking of something not being recession proof, we’ve pretty much been calling everything recession proof lately and laughing at people who claim to not being recession proof. The NBA just announced that the salary cap for the 2010 season is going to be lower than expected. If the NBA isn’t recession proof, you’re definitely not recession proof (© Celia Kelly). Needless to say, I wanted to come back with a joke of my own, it’s what we do. But I can’t. Sad day.

Day 8

I’m starting to realize that I’m glad that I didn’t commit myself to not reading these text messages because it would be damn near impossible. To be completely honest, I haven’t not looked at a text message since July 5. I’m interested in what people have to tell me. I guess if I had less interesting friends it would be much easier to ignore text messages, but I have surrounded myself with hilarious people who send hilarious text messages; well except for Dayshell, who happened to text me today telling me to tell Davion to call her. Why in the hell would I do that? He thinks she’s just as annoying as I do, but she calls him her brother. How corny is that shit? I’m not going to have some lame ass 20-year-old girl calling me her big brother. Dumb.

“Dude pitching for the Rangers right now is fat, Mexican and has a gray goatee. His money can’t be recession proof. Shit, the Rangers money must not be either if he’s playing.” What do I do if I’m not able to respond to shit like this? I play Kanye’s “Heartless” because that’s what Celia’s become sending me things like this. I mean, I appreciate the laugh, but it’s just not fun when you can’t comment back. Having a phone with internet, an MP3 player, speaker phone, games and a camera without being able to text, I assume, would be akin to dating Eva Mendez, but she’s not giving up the booty. You get to be seen with her gorgeous ass (and touch it from time to time too), you know you’re living large because she has bank and all of your boys are jealous; but you go to sleep every night mad as hell. I don’t even want Eva Mendez anymore.

Day 9

At 6:54 a.m. I got a text message that started off with OMGOMGOMGOMG! There was no way in hell I wasn’t reading that (I have to be up at 6 a.m. every day to get to work on time, if I was sleeping in and got a text that early I’d throw a kitten at a brick wall). I just sighed, closed the message and went about the rest of my day. I think my spirit has been killed. I’m not even getting mad at getting not being able to respond anymore. If I were a POW and they were trying to get some information out of me, this is the day I would have broke and spilled all of the information. I’m not broken in the way to where I can’t take it anymore, because that would make me a bitch; I just don’t care anymore.

I thought I didn’t care until my sister sent me a text that just said, “coon.” If anyone outside of my circle sent me some shit like that, I would be forced to beat them to a pulp, but it’s hilarious coming from my sister. This text message is akin to me about to spill the beans as a POW and the guy interrogating me burning a cigarette on my forehead right before I spoke. There is no way in hell I’m helping out a dude after he burns a cigarette on my forehead just like I’m not going to be able to hold back my frustration for not being able to respond to these messages. I need to take shots back at my sister. I’m being bullied right now. I’ve officially began my countdown. Just five more days until I can respond. I’ll be back. I’ll be me again. I can’t believe I just typed those last two sentences. When did texting become “me?” Yikes. Either way, five days, Ashlyn. Five days.

Blame it on Thelonious

2009-07-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

They say a dog is a man’s best friend. I have a dog and I can tell you from first hand that they are wrong. They are probably scrubs and losers with no discernable friends to begin with. They probably played with those magic cards in elementary school or own the “Lord of Rings” book and DVD series. They don’t have hilarious friends. I’ve had my dog for the better part of the last three months and can tell you that my best friends still are my best friends. Thelonious, the name of my bum ass dog, still, and will always remain, my dog.

However, my bum ass, stupid ass dog has grown on me. Before you start thinking about how fucking adorable that is, keep in mind that the phrase “has grown on me” is going to turn out to be as cute as herpes. I’ve become accustomed to him pissing me off, and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. As crazy as it sounds, being pissed off at my dog at all hours has reduced the amount of stress in my life. As I type this, my dog is sitting in the kitchen barking for no fucking reason. In moments I’ll be forced to get up from my desk (well, my $15 dollar foldable table from Target) walk over to the kitchen and calm him down.

“What the hell are you barking for?” I’ll ask as I walk into the kitchen. He’ll look up at me with his tail wagging waiting for me to untie him and let him roam free around my apartment while I write.

“You know you’re not even supposed to be here, keep barking and I’ll be forced to put you out,” I continue. “If Brittany hears you (the manager of the apartments), she’ll be pissed that you’re here, but more because I’m slick enough to sneak a dog into my place without paying the $500 deposit.”

“WOOF!” he’d bark, with that stupid ass look on his face. I’ll then pull my hand back, and he’d sit down, with his tail still wagging as he looks at me blankly.

“I don’t think there is any way you could be less intelligent. You’re presence is intellectually unsatisfying,” I’ll say, hoping he understands me, but he won’t because he’s a dog, and dogs don’t speak people. “You know I’m not recession proof, $500 would pretty much bankrupt me. This recession is your fault – you bastard.”

“WOOF! WOOF!” his dumb ass would bark, then I’d be forced to threaten to murder him with the frozen orange that’s been cooling in my freezer for about as long as Thelonious has been a roommate. Then he’d stand back up and try to jump on me, forgetting that he was tied up, then be jerked back by the leash, reminding me of how stupid he is. “WOOF!” His bum ass would continue, forcing me to smack his nose, which would invariably be followed by a whimpering “bark” and him understanding what the hell I want him to do.

“People ask why I haven’t taught you to sit yet, and I tell them it would be a waste of my damn time because you’re a dog, and dogs are stupid,” I’d say, knowing how much I verbally attack him, he’ll still love me. “I’m going to go back to my table, because I can’t afford a desk because of the recession you’ve caused, and you’re going to sit here and practice shutting the fuck up.” Then I’ll come back to my table, and finish writing this damn blog.

In a phone conversation with my sister about a week ago, she asked if I loved my dog, and I said, “no.” This is the truth, because I do not love my dog, I actually hate him, but this is not a bad thing. I need to hate my dog in the same way that my dog needs to chase birds every time I take him outside to take care of his business. I once wrote that I believed that hate fueled passion, and you needed to be passionate to love, and you needed to passion to live. Without hate, I would not be able to live. Hate, I could argue, is much more important than love. Love is not necessary to live, because it is a passion, and passions are fueled by hate.

I need my dog because he reminds me of things I love that I may have otherwise been taking for granted. Like my love for not having children, my love for a clean apartment, my love for peace and quiet and my love for inspiration. My dog serves as birth control, a cleaning mechanism, motivation to get my ass to a library or book store and the inspiration to write something like this. I know that I’m going to be able to compare my hatred for my dog to my hate for other things like the Denver Broncos, Chingy and what television has become.

As much as I would love to take him to some orchard and bust his head open with that frozen orange, I know there is no way I could because I need him around. He makes me appreciate everything I have, and that’s what’s most important in this economy that he’s created because the things we don’t have are going to remain the things we don’t have. I may have a stupid ass dog, but I have so much more than that and you do to. And if you can’t realize this, then maybe you need to go out and get yourself a stupid ass dog too.

No texting Days 4-6: Toying with my sanity

2009-07-07T15:07:00.000-07:00

Breaking habits, I’ve come to realize, may be one of the toughest things to do in life. Learning to not dribble with your head down and keeping your elbow in while shooting free throws have been easy compared to not texting – and I still find my self looking at the floor when I have my mind set on getting to the basket and my elbow still flairs a tad bit to the right when I’m fatigued at the charity stripe. Logic would dictate that I have no chance at going eight more days – which seems like a lifetime considering that the first three days felt like 12 days and the second three days felt like a decade. Here are those next three days. Days 7-10 will be posted on Friday.

Day 4
At this point, not texting has become as much a part of my life as my apartment, my bike, my job and working out. Not texting has become a daily routine, and things are not different because it’s Independence Day. To this point, I’ve become obsessed with my two week quest of not texting. I’m proud of this ridiculous point I’m only trying to make to myself. I tell people that I spend my lunch breaks not texting. When people ask what I’m doing, I tell them that “I’m accomplishing a goal by being on the phone with you.” Can you blame me? Probably, because all of this is self imposed, but I don’t care.

I woke up earlier than expected today because of how late I was up the night before and forgot that the women’s Wimbledon Final was on that morning. I caught the end of the last set and wanted to text the two friends I know who watched it. Then again, I don’t. I’ve just realized that I’m more obsessed with creating temptation for myself than actually not texting. I want it to be hard just so I can say “I had all of these text messages I either wanted to send or wanted to reply to, but I didn’t.” I just love challenges, even if the competition is essentially with myself.

I just got a text message from a friend telling me that Steve McNair died. This, to me was tragic because McNair was one of those quarterbacks that come around only once in a lifetime. Dude was a Heisman candidate at Alcorn State, a HBCU! He was a consummate teammate and he’d have to be paralyzed not to play. He was a football player in its truest form. A man who went to war with his teammates, and in return for his mental and physical toughness, his teammates went to war with him. I want to text so bad right now. I have no internet and I’ve been boycotting television for a couple months now, I need details. I need to know how he died. I’m checking my phone’s internet for details.

I spent the rest of the holiday missing phone calls that, for whatever reason, never went through to my side and not texting the same people. I ended up NOT hanging out with Jessie, who had just got back in from Vegas only because I couldn’t text. Oh well. This is what I set myself up for, I suppose. It feels as if the days are only going to get harder.

Day 5
I just walked into my kitchen this morning and it’s filthy – which is funny since I just cleaned this shit two days ago! This has nothing to do with me not texting, but since I couldn’t text my disgust with anyone, you have to read about it. I lived with more women than men for the majority of my life, and now I find myself pretty much living with three other dudes who don’t clean shit. I’m not the cleanest dude in the world, but damn, we’re living like pigs in this bitch. Hold on, my mom is calling.

My mom is on her way. Again, this isn’t important to the story. I look at our disgusting kitchen and decide that it’s not worth attempting to clean. She knows I live with a bunch of dudes. I’ll just blame it on them, and the leftover alcohol in the freezer from Friday night. After a quick chat we go out to eat and I get a text from a friend. I don’t read the whole message, or even the preview. I just looked at the name knowing I could call her later since I couldn’t text her at the time anyway.

It turns out my friend’s dad was having health problems and just needed someone to talk to. I feel terrible, especially since my phone fails to receive her phone call later that night. I may have underestimated the affect this non texting is going to have on other people. In fact, I’ve had about four friends tell me that it’s been killing them knowing that I’m not going to text them back because they have questions they need answered at times that it wouldn’t be convenient for a phone call. Or they need my opinion on something. All of a sudden, I have friends, and only because they know I can’t communicate in the most convenient way possible. The irony burns, especially since I know all of these wild events are going to blow over by July 15. MJ’s death, McNair’s death, NBA free agency and much more will all be old news, and new news will be boring again. I hate my life.

Day 6
It’s about 9:45 p.m. and I’m completely rewriting this post while my dog blankly stares at me while I’m on the phone having a conversation about why I’m not talkative. Early on July 6, I had my Day 6 post pretty much finished, ready to be posted whenever I felt like on July 7. However, I got some text messages from two of my five favorite people not affectionately named Mom that forced me to change my Day 6 post.

At about 7:20 p.m. Celia sent me a text message that started out with the Phillies-Reds score (a 22-1 pummeling of the Reds). Since she has started her internship, she’s become a baseball fan, so I was interested in her insight on the first real beat down of one team over the other since she became a baseball fan. What I didn’t know was she would add “and make sure you write you read this whole text too. Bwwwaaahhhhh. LOL” and follow it up with her smiley face that says, at least to me, “I’m kidding, but I’m not kidding.” She’s sly, or cunning, like a fox, or something. That was just a slice of her non-humble pie. Very few people know me well enough to know that I would appreciate something like that, even if it was just to spite my text fast.

However, another of those people is my sister. When we were younger she used to say that I was that hot dog in those Weinersnitchel commercials. I’m not going to lie, it bothered me a little because the hot dog was so fucking lame, and a hilarious thing to call someone. Well, she sent me a text after reading my post that started out with her making fun of me riding my bicycle to work on the daily then her saying, if you don’t respond to this you’re the Weinersnitchel hot dog. 10 minutes later, after receiving no response from me, she sent me another text that said, “you just got punked” and continued saying hot dog over and over again. I have thick skin, and I only have my sister to thank, because she can be one of the cruelest people with words. After a couple decades of Ashlyn, there really isn’t anything anyone can say to me that can make me feel bad, which is why I haven’t beaten my friends asses, because they all think they’re hilarious.

Either way, it’s 11:55, well past my bed time and I’m waiting for Celia to call me back so we can finish this recession proof conversation (funniest I’ve had in weeks), and I’ve realized that I need to be careful what I wish for. I wanted this to be tough, and now my sister and Celia are playing with my sanity in the same way Karla Homolka played with little girls. It’s almost torture, because they know as well as anyone that I like to take shots back, but I can’t without my ability to text or call back while they’re working. It looks like we’ve just opened up a whole new can of worms.

-Stay Hideous

In war, truth becomes the first casualty.

2009-07-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Do you understand that these are people who will never forget, the people who lose their father or a brother or a relative? They or their children or even their children's children. Do you want to see your son killed someday in an airplane explosion because we've made Iraq a terrorist nation from what we've done? Consider the terrorism that could be done in this nation. A guy with a bomb can just drive into the Lincoln Tunnel or walk into the Sears Tower and kill thousands. Is this what you want to see and have it affect your children or their children? "

-Phil Jackson to the '91 Bulls after he asked his team if they wanted the troops to go into Baghdad and go after Saddam Hussein as the Persian Gulf War was nearing an end.

Is there any way we can get Barack Obama to read pages 210 and 211 of The Jordan Rules? For some reason, after walking my dog yesterday evening, I was feeling a little more anti-war than usual, then I read this today. Can we please get our men and women out of the Middle East and let them live their lives over there so we can live ours peacefully over here? I want to love our president, but I'm not recession proof and I hate war -- especially when the war is unnecessary (but is it ever?). I'm going to get back to this book, but e-mail your president or something. This madness has to end. They're people, too, over there. Things would be a lot easier for all of us if we just live and let it be.

No Texting Days 1-3: Getting used to it

2009-07-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

I’ve completely underestimated the amount of information one can miss out on by ignoring 140 character messages. We’ve become a nation that is built to survive on speed and convenience – which is why there are at least nine fast food restaurants every two blocks, why we need our computers to be as fast as possible, why I may get a speeding ticket on my way home from work this afternoon, why we can access the internet from our cell phones and why text messaging was invented. We’re in an age where our attention spans have been shortened to Spud Webb proportions. Our minds are always in indeterminate flux and what we think about next is about as certain as which National League team will make an end-of-the-season push to make this year’s post season – we have no idea. This is essentially why text messaging has become so important to our daily lives.

On June 30, I wrote that I would attempt to go two solid weeks without sending one text message. What I didn’t say was that I would try not to read incoming text messages, which has been indefinitely harder than not sending any myself. The following is documentation from the first six days of the experiment.

Day 1
I woke up this morning with two text messages in my inbox. One was from Celia from late that night asking if I was asleep, which I clearly was since I did not see the message until the next morning. The other was from Amber responding to a text I sent her earlier in the day on the 20th, nothing I really needed to respond to (by the way, I get previews to every incoming text message, the first 35 characters. I read the previews, and sometimes that’s the whole message, the longer messages are the ones that are hard to ignore). Things aren’t too bad so far, however, I keep taking my phone out of my pocket checking it. What is the point? Even if I do have a text message, it’s not like I can respond or even call, considering people actually have jobs these days.

Day 2
Again I woke up to a text message, this time from Travis asking me what I was up to. In case none of you knew, I’m one of those early to bed, early to rise type of dudes since I have to ride my bike to and from campus, where I work for eight hours and work our for another two. If it’s past 10 p.m. on a weekday, you can count on me being asleep.

I’m working and going through my daily rounds of the sports websites. The LA Times website just gave me my first true test, I’m reading about Ron Artest verbally committing Los Angeles to play for my Lakers and Trevor Ariza will be going to Houston. It is taking a lot out of me restraining from texting every basketball fan in my phonebook. I want to brag to non-Lakers fans and get opinions from the few friends I had who were Lakers fans. To be honest, I just want to text. It’s only halfway through the day and it feels like it’s been five days. These are going to be the longest two weeks of my life. I can’t text during the NBA free agency period, I’m as broke as I’ve been in over a year and I work at what may be the most boring job in the world.

The week just got longer. As I sat there jotting down these notes, Celia sent me a message that said, “Keyshawn Johnson is terrible.” It is taking every ounce of will in my body to not respond to this text message. Celia may be the queen of random hilarious text messages that may or may not have been intended to make me laugh, but she never fails. It hurts to not be able to respond to this knowing that I can’t call either because of her internship. Just a simple “LOL” would feel so much better than a luke-warm shower after bike-riding home in 234 degree weather. I’m dying.

Day 3
I realize why I’m doing this. I finally don’t wake up to a text message, but I do get something that looks like it could be one of those forwarded chain messages. It’s about Lady Gaga, and I’m sure the punch line to the joke is going to have to do something with poking her face. Blah blah blah. I don’t really have a problem not reading this full message because chain messages are the scum of text messages. If text messaging were like school, texts about sports would be my major, pointless conversations with my female friends would be my sociology minor and chain messages would be like taking a fucking Geology class. I almost went four solid years without having one prototypical, stereotypical boring-ass college professor, and in a the class that I cared about the least, I finally get one. God he was awful, and he made sound affects for things that shouldn’t have sound affects. I’m realizing the affect text messaging is having on me – random tangents. My geology class has nothing to do with my self-imposed sanction on text messaging, I just have nothing else to do.

I get a text message from Dayshell. I met Dayshell in high school and she used to like me back then. I never really gave her much time, and I talk to her from time to time just to give her a hard time, which I really shouldn’t do because she’s pretty much in love with me (seriously). However, she’s pretty much the antithesis to “the girl I would date.” She doesn’t really like sports (even though she pretends she does when she talks to me), she listens to terrible music and she doesn’t read. She isn’t a stupid girl, but she definitely isn’t an intellectual, which you HAVE to be if you can’t make me laugh, which she most definitely can not – and I can say all of this, because she doesn’t read, so I don’t really have to worry about her reading this, and if she does, I don’t really like her like that any way, but I digress. I mentioned her because she is the epitome of why I hated text messaging to begin with. Since joining my school’s newspaper three years ago, I’ve become somewhat of a stickler for grammar, and have a hard time reading things without point out grammatical mistakes (even re-reading my shit, which I know there will be a lot of in this post, I’m terrible at editing my own work). Anyway, she loves starting off text conversations with “wut u doin” Not one word spelled correctly and no punctuation at the end of a fucking fragment sentence. I understand shorting some words to have shorter messages, but I don’t appreciate fragments and intentionally misspelled words. It’s not hard to put a “g” at the end of doing. It’s not hard to put an “r” in there to say what ARE you doing. It’s not hard to add a fucking question mark. I don’t have a bigger pet peeve than this. Dayshell just made Day 3 much easier than it would have been if she didn’t piss me off. Thank you Dayshell.

[Considering people don’t like to sit and read the same post for longer than 20 minutes, I’ll post days 4-6 tomorrow, and you’ll have days 7-9 on July 10th.]

-Stay Hideous
Word Count: 4065

No texts for two weeks!

2009-06-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that I spend way too much of my time on my cell phone. There is nothing less intrinsically satisfying than knowing that you rely way too much of your communication to others through text messaging. I used to be one of those guys who hated to text, and for some reason I feel like I do, but that’s not what the numbers are telling me.

(Note: before you read the next paragraph, please realize that A) I am fully aware that I am somewhat of a nerd, B) I work at an incredibly boring job, and C) I had nothing else to do)

For some reason, I haven’t deleted a single text message from my phone since the beginning of September. I don’t think any phone should have the power to hold the number of text messages that I’ve received in the last month, much less almost a year’s worth. In that month of September, I sent 238 text messages, an average of just about eight text messages per day. Since June 22 until Noon on June 30, I sent exactly 500 text messages, an average of 62 and a half text messages per day. 446 of those were from women, and 23 of them were from ESPN giving me updates on the Giants (since without a special package, I rarely get to see Giants games televised). 32 of those text messages were from dudes, and of those 24, six were from guys I either work with or I write for, which leaves 18 from guys who are actually my friends (and that number was only that high because the NBA Draft just happened).

Now, I don’t see any reason why I need to be sending out a quarter-ton text messages every eight days, that’s almost the pace for 2,000 per month. I realize nearly 75 percent of my friends are women (yes, I did go through the Myspace and Facebook friends lists and added all of my friends who I ether text from time to time, or who I’d hand out with on the weekends – I love numbers and I can admit it), but again, there is no reason to have over 500 text messages in a week’s time.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that, starting July 1, I will go two solid weeks without texting anyone, which means, from the time I pay my rent until the time I get paid again, I’m not sending anyone any texts. It’s going to be a hard, grueling half-month considering that my propensity to text instead of call has grown to a point I would have never thought it would reach in a million years (you know, because, I’m under the impression I can live millions of years). I’ll be documenting my struggles without my once hated, but now needed text messaging, maybe a new post every two or three days. It’s going to be epic, but hopefully I’ll come out of this with an independence that I’ve never had before. I remember the days where I could just leave my phone in my room for hours and not worry about it, now, I can’t even wear basketball shorts without pockets (because I’ll never wear a phone clip) for fear of missing a message.

From tomorrow morning until the morning of the 15th, if you need to get a hold of me, don’t text, because it won’t be responded to. I’m going to do my best to even resist the temptation to look at them. It’s about to get serious folks. Hopefully I can last (that’s what she said).

-Stay Hideous

Slaughterhuose slaughtered it

2009-06-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

Slaughterhouse, a group consisting of Joe Budden, Joell Ortiz, Royce da 5’9’’ and Crooked I, dropped this ridiculous group freestyle over the D.O.A. beat. Everyone was enjoyable, but by the time Joell Ortiz got off the track, the track, the beat had been murdered. It was a ridiculous performance from Ortiz, I was just in my office bobbing the hell out of my head ignoring my duties until this 18+ minute track finally ended (yes, over 18 fucking minutes!) I’ve liked a lot of what I’ve heard from what they’ve put out as a group, and I LOVE their mixtape, but if they keep putting out shit like this, they’re going to become my favorite hip-hop group of all time. I can’t wait for their album to drop next month. They’re all talented lyricists with something different to offer, what is what separates them from other groups. There is either one really good artist and a few bums or everyone sounds the same, groups like this are far and few between.

If you guys have 18 minutes to spare, it is well worth it. Check it out. Below I’ve posted my favorite lines from everyone.

zSHARE - slaughterhouse-ondaspot_freestyle.mp3

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Royce da 5’9’’
I just don’t sound raw
I disconnect your shit and have you walking around with Bobby Brown Jaw
And then Whitney said ‘crack is whack’
And it offended me like, floozy, why you dissing my music?

Joe Budden
I swear to God I was placed in this decade by mistake
I don’t belong here
Dad fucked mom in the wrong year
Wrong nigga amongst fans with wrong ears
Wrong trends, with funny sounds every song sounds weird
Wrong fashion, it’s like every nigga has gone queer

Joell Ortiz
I’m in tune with what the gutta loves
I get on beats and son niggas like a mother does
They hear me and are like ‘aiyo, that brotha’s bomb’
They hear you they like ‘oh no, not another thug’
You chase bitches who don’t want a scrub
I’ve fucked project bitches on the roof with a rubber glove
We two different dudes
I be getting praised you be getting booed
I feed niggas, you just niggas food
You be getting chewed like whack grits
Every time I’m getting chewed it’s a bad bitch

Crooked I
Pistols say we in combat
I spaz out like a crazy Vietnam cat
It’s young cooked
Yeah you had a leg but my punk took it
Now you hip-hop ‘cuz you one footed

How to be deleted from my friend's list: Part 1

2009-06-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

Matthew Todd I just hit you with the Sea Turtle Pillow! You have 2 days to hit back, or you lose!
Matthew started a Pillow Fight with you.

Matthew has started a Pillow Fight with you! You can give up... or you can accept the challenge, pick your pillow and hit back! Let's see who wins!

4 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · » Hit Back «

----------------------

The above is not a joke. I really did have a friend on Facebook named Matthew Todd. And yes, this fucker really really tried to start a pillow fight with me via Facebook.

At first glance, I didn't really notice it, I just thought he posted some shit about sea turtles, but the second time I saw it, I was like, "What the fuck?!?"

I can't imagine me ever wanting to engage in a pillow fight, let alone with some dude who I really never talked to in high school. I mean, I knew who he was, so I accepted his friend request, but had I known he was going to be electronically pelting me with sea turtle pillows, I would have never added him to begin with.

I can't think of anything gayer than starting an electronic pillow fight. Actual gay people are less gay than electronic pillow fights. I don't think I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to start an electronic pillow fight with a girl, so there is no way in hell I'm going to tolerate some dude starting one with me. I mean, why would you even consider that shit? Why? I am at a loss for words.

Who Was Luckier? Us or Shaq?

2009-06-28T12:18:00.000-07:00

[Note: This article originally appears on Talkhoops.net

You may have already read 7,635,425 blogs and articles answering the pressing question of: Will the Shaq for Cracker Jacks trade work for the Cavaliers. The short answer: No. And that's all you're getting out of me on that one. I'm here to answer a more interesting question: Is Shaq the luckiest big man of all time - or are we the lucky ones?

With Shaq moving to Cleveland, he is paired up with Lebron James, the fifth time the Big Something or Other (© Celia Kelly) has been paired up with a great parameter player. It started in Orlando with Penny Hardaway, he moved to Los Angeles to play with Kobe Bryant, moved back to Florida to play with Dwyane Wade, shifted his weight to Arizona and played with Steve Nash and is now with one of the most freakish athletes we've ever seen? Again, I ask, who has been luckier, Shaq or us?

Off top, it seems like this answer would undeniably be Shaq. However, we've got to see the greatest center of this era, and one of the most candid athletes of all time, play with some of the most exciting basketball players of the last decade, and we're just months away from seeing him team up with the most exciting in the game now.

Has a center ever been more blessed to play with more future Hall of Famers than Shaq? Kareem got to play with Oscar Robertson and Magic Johnson. Wilt played with Elgin Baylor and Jerry West. Russell played with Bob Cousy. Olajuwon played with Clyde Drexler, but that was at the end of his career. The most exciting perimeter player Robinson played with was Rod Strickland, and had Ginobili as a rookie as he was leaving the league. Ewing had John Starks, Xavier McDaniel and Larry Johnson. None of those lists jump out at you like Penny, Kobe, Wade, Nash and Lebron - no second name needed for any of them.

[Click here to check out the rest of this article at Talkhoops.net]

-Stay Hideous
Word Count: 2,051

A box of chips!

2009-06-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

I have to thank Ed The Sports Fan for sharing this link with his friends via Facebook.

The first paragraph gave me the giggles:

"OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — A woman has been fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges after she was accused of accepting a box of chips for sex."

If nothing says the economy is bad it is definitely a prostitute accepting a $30 box of chips for sex.

Oklahoma: Where new prostitution lows happen.

-Stay Hideous

The Clipse featuring Kanye West - Kinda Like a Big Deal Video

2009-06-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

This is the first single from The Clipse's new album "'Til The Casket Drops" featuring Kanye West. I love the song, I love the production, and it's the best Kanye verse I've heard in a year. I'm glad to see The Clipse back and I can't wait to hear the new album.

-Stay Hideous

I have a lot of writing to do

2009-06-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of writing to do.

A lot of writing is neither an understatement or an overstatement, it’s just the truth. I have to average 1,177 words over the next 85 days to reach 100,000 words before the fall quarter of my last year as an undergrad at California State University, Bakersfield begins. To some, 100,000 words may seem like a lot, but for me it is a goal that I’ve tried to reach once, and failed miserably due to my laziness.

If you followed me last summer, you would know that I’ve tried to get to 100k and fell just over 36,000 words short. Again, for some, that may seem like a lot, but it isn’t in the scope of things. I wrote well over 60 percent of the words that I wanted to write while going well over 40 days of not writing. Let’s say that all of my posts from last summer were in consecutive days, that would have set my pace for 1,217.25 words per day (yes, I sat down and did the math). Considering that I left 48 days on the table and the fact that I was writing over 1,200 words per day, I know I would have written well over 121k for the summer (121,725 to be exact). Knowing this makes it much easier for me to sit down and confidently say that my goal of 100,000 words for this summer is definitely within reach.

Why 100,000 words? Well, the answer is two-fold. The first is because I tried to do it last year and I failed. I need to redeem my self. The second is because I need to write more. I spent last summer trying to write as much as possible just to get in the habit of writing all the time. This year I have a purpose. I need to become a better writer technically. I’ll be printing and editing all of my posts before you see them. I need to realize what mistakes I’m making, figure out why I keep making them, and then figure out how to stop making these mistakes. There will always be jobs for people who can write. I just need to become a better writer than the next guy and I can’t get better unless I write as much as possible.

Last summer I was very sporadic with my posts. I was writing about everything, which really is not going to do me any good this summer. This summer I’ll be focused on three things: Sports, Music and Samuel L. Jackson movies. From time to time I’ll post something completely random or some thoughts on current event x or book or movie y, but for the most part, this summer will be sports, music and Samuel L. Jackson movies.

With that, I have some research and a lot of writing to do.

-Stay Hideous

Word Count: 480

Hmm... That's funny -- I didn't know that was something to complain about

2009-04-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

I’ve pretty much categorized everything I hate into four categories: foods, sports teams, people who I can’t stand for some reasons I don’t need to get into and people who complain about shit they don’t need to complain about.

I’ve been living in Bakersfield and the amount of complaining about shit that they don’t need to be complaining about has been unprecedented. I mean, it’s shit that I’d be happy to have in my life. You know, things like the ability to stay with their parents and not pay rent in college? What the fuck do you have to complain about? You have two fucking parents willing to help you out, help you save up money while you’re in college getting educated free of charge. Not only that, but you get to go home to home-cooked meals. That shit is a fucking luxury in college. Get over yourself if you can’t appreciate that shit.

On top of all of that, about 90 percent of the people complaining about having to live with their parents have both of their parents at home. In 2009, having both of your parents by the time you’re college aged is a fucking commodity you better be happy you have. I’d give almost anything to be able to have both of my parents around – together. Fuck you and don’t complain to me about shit if you’re not paying for shit outside of a fucking phone bill and get to go home to both of your damn parents after you get out of class. That shit is fucking absurd.

I can’t fathom why anyone would ever not want to be home just because their parents weren’t there. I know not everyone is going to have a great relationship with their parents, but you don’t ever know how long you’re going to have the ability to physically see your parents. Hell, I know people who don’t even have parents.

Oh, and one more thing, I know the economy is really fucked up, but get the hell over it. As far as I’m concerned, the economy has been fucked up for the last 22 years. My family has never really had shit, but I feel like I’ve lived a pretty amazing life thus far. If you can’t go on that cruise to Mexico or you can’t get that new Scion that you’ve been wanting “since forever,” get the fuck over it and get some funny friends. I promise you’ll get over it.

I just wish people learned how to appreciate shit. I know I have little to nothing by American standards, but I feel like, in world so consumed with commercialism that I have a lot. I just think, if I really don’t have anything to complain about (which I do considering the complaints I hear), than you don’t have anything to complain about. Suck it up or leave me alone. I’m just not listening to that bullshit anymore.

Finding the ultimate Samuel Jackson Experience [pt. 1]

2009-04-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

Samuel L. Jackson is an icon; this much we know. Throughout his career he has given us myriad amazing performances that have left us shocked, confused and dying of laughter. Because Jackson’s iconography is universal among movie-goers, I’ve decided to go on a conjectural quest to find the movie that gave us the quintessential Sam Jackson performance. I’ve broken things down into four categories:

1. Hair style (included facial hair)
2. Memorable lines
3. Unusual circumstances (will vary significantly from movie to movie)
4. Overall quality of film

The hairstyle, memorable line and unusual circumstances categories will be out of 30 points and the overall quality of film section will be out of 10 points making it 100 possible points for each movie. As I watch the movies, I’ll write short reviews and the movie with the highest score will be deemed the ultimate Sam Jackson experience.

I’ve watched five SLJ movies in the past two weeks and I’ll be doing these reviews two at a time. Being reviewed today: Lake View Terrace and Jumper.

Lake View Terrace:
When I first saw the previews for this movie I have to say that I was extremely excited to see it because it had the potential to be one of the funniest movies of all time, and I have to say that I was pretty disappointed with the outcome. The movie is about an interracial couple who move in next door to a cop (Sam Jackson) who doesn’t appreciate their relationship because his wife died while with a white man while she should have been at work. The couple struggles to live a peaceful life with the cop interfering with their everyday life activities.

Hair Style: 10 pts
In this movie Sam Jackson is bald. I think he has a mustache, I don’t really feel like looking it up. I originally gave this only seven points, but looking back, he’s a weird looking bald-headed dude and that adds to the unintentional comedy.

Memorable lines: 18 pts
This would have been a lot higher if I actually remembered what he said verbatim or if I remembered why he said it, but he did say something along the lines of, “You better tell that talkative bitch to shut-up!” Of course, this line had me dying, but days later, I can’t really remember the exact words, so it can’t be scored too high.

Unusual circumstances: 26 pts
There was one specific scene where Jackson catches his daughter in the new neighbors’ backyard dancing and having a good time. This leads to him unbuttoning his police uniform, pulling down his pants and dancing in his boxers. After his daughter goes of on her “you’re embarrassing and stay out of my life” spiel, Jackson cocks back and slaps the fuck out of her. I wish I had more hands so I could have gave that scene four thumbs up. Absolutely hilarious.

Overall quality of film: 6 pts
I was able to follow the film without getting too bored, but I expected much more from a film with Sam Jackson and this premise. It wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t too good either. Average films get average scores.

Overall score: 60 pts
The score was definitely hurt by Jackson being bald. Bad move for those directors in the future who ending up casting Jackson in a major role.

Jumper
Jumper is something that I originally had no interest in because the premise seemed incredibly ridiculous. The trailor had a tone that I felt could only be appreciated by guys who played that Magic card game in middle school (so embarrassing). The idea is there are people in the world who have the ability to transport anywhere in the world at any time and there are people who will do anything in their power to stop these “jumpers.” Incredibly corny to say the least.

Hair Style: 26 pts
This is about the only thing that the movie got right, Sam Jackson has a short cut dyed silver a la a mid-90s Sisqo. What would possess anyone to dye their hair silver – or require Sam Jackson to do so. I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s hilarious. To be honest, this may have been the only reason I decided to watch the movie – the only reason.

Memorable lines: 1 pt
The only line I can remember him saying is, “Only God should have the ability to be all places at all times!” I would have given this a zero if he didn’t yell that line.

Unusual Circumstances: 0 pts
Granted, this movie was unusual to say the least, but there was no point in this movie where Jackson did something that wasn’t expected nor did he do anything that was unusual within the underlining pretext of the film.

Overall quality of film: 3 pts
The movie was just interesting enough for me to have the ability to sit through it. I thought about giving it a four, but that would have made the over all score a 31, and well, Reggie Miller has annoyed the hell out of me these past couple of years.

Overall Score: 30 pts
This score was hurt by the movie being border-line awful in all aspects. Jackson’s role is just want you don’t want from him. We need more yelling, we need more hilarious lines and we need the unexpected to happen… however, this wasn’t even close to the worst Sam Jackson movie I’ve seen in the past two weeks.

Up Next: Soul Men and Amos and Andrew

The Legend of Jeff Trepagnier [Pt. 1]

2009-02-27T10:07:00.000-08:00

(Note to all readers. The accuracy of this story is not 100 percent because, well, I was intoxicated when it happened.)

It's not every night you drink and know you're going to have to write about that night at some point down the line (unless, of course you're me - and every night means every weekend for three weekends straight). I've had a few run-ins with a man a normal 22-year-old college student wouldn't recognize, but as an avid basketball watcher and a die-hard USC fan I'm bound to notice guys like Jeff Trepagnier.

As you may or may not know, Mr. Trepagnier played his collegiate years at the University of Southern California and won the collegiate dunk contest in 2001 by sticking his arm in the rim a la Vince Carter circa 2000 (although VC stole the dunk from Kobe Bryant, who was the first to do it in 1998, look it up, I'm sure it's on youtube somewhere, but I digress). Trepagnier was drafted by Cleveland and also played for the Denver Nuggets and played a couple seasons overseas before he ended up in Bakersfield playing for the Jam, the city's D-League team - which is why I now run into him every other weekend.

The first meeting was the first week of January, my last weekend before I started my winter quarter at California State University, Bakersfield. I was out with my friend Davion, who happened to have just broke up with his girlfriend of two years just a couple months before - so you can only imagine how much we went out during my Winter Break.

We showed up to Azulz's, a bar in Downtown Bakersfield (yes, I'm still embarrassed that I go out in Bakersfield, the sooner I graduate the better) and were greeted with a line we normally wouldn't have waited for, but Azulz's is free, which only makes seeing Trepagnier there even funnier. At that time both of us were broke (I'm not going to lie), so we were buying cheap alcohol before hand and drinking just enough to be able to say anything at any given time - a hilarious way to do things, but I wouldn't suggest it if you aren't capable of talking your way out of bad situations.

We were standing at the end of the line laughing at all of the girls who were overdressed for the third trashiest bar in town and all of the dudes trying to get at them when Davion spotted a guy at the front of the line, turned and asked, "Is that Jeff Trepagnier?"

[To read the rest of the post, click here to go to talkhoops.net. Thanks!]

22 and learning

2009-02-19T19:32:00.001-08:00

I guess that means I’m a pimp on par
Till I’m six feet under like it’s three niggas in that Flinstones’ car
-Lupe Fiasco

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you (left you) without a dope blog to step to… maybe?

Well, it’s been well over a month since my last post and it was recently brought to my attention by one of the few people in my life who actually matter.

She asked why I hadn’t written in a while and I told her because no one reads it. She said that she does, and well, I guess that’s all that matters, right?

I’ve written before that it’s depressing and pointless being a writer with no readers, and well, nothing has changed since then. I still write, and I still want people to read, but it’s to the point where I’m not writing because no one is reading. How do you remedy this?

I feel there is only two ways to remedy the problem. Either you just stop writing altogether so you theoretically don’t have to worry about people not reading your stuff or you can continue writing until you earn your readership. The former is definitely easier than the latter because you don’t have to motivate yourself to not do something. Being lazy is natural, it comes easy to all of us. It takes a lot to put your work out and see it go unacknowledged day in and day out, but I guess that’s what comes with the territory of being in love with a medium that requires people to concentrate on something that isn’t really moving.

The thing is, if I had worked at my craft like I promised myself I would (apparently men don’t only forget promises they make to other people, but they forget the promises they make to themselves) than I would be creating images that move. That’s what, in my humble opinion, good writing does. It gives the illusion of a moving image. When I read guys like Chuck Klosterman or Bill Simmons I can see what they’re writing about, which is why they’re so well read. It may have taken me 22 years to figure this out, but I think I know what I need to be doing.

In this last month and a half I’ve written two or three articles for talkhoops.net, none of which were read by any of the three people I’m closest to outside of my immediate family. What I’ve learned is that when it comes to being supported as I continue my quest in making writing my profession, I really can’t count on anyone, not even my closest friends. I’m okay with this. I really am. I can’t force people who don’t like to read to read, and I can’t force people who do like to read to read what I write. I’m not their conjectural cup of tea (or bottle of Gatorade).

I’ve learned a few other things since the beginning of the new year:

1. 98 percent of all women I MEET (note that I’m stressing the women I meet) are stupid. So is looking for love. People in bad relationships are in that situation because they were looking for love instead of happiness. Look for someone who is going to make you happy and love will come later. I guarantee it.

2. I’m way too nice of a person. When it’s a shock when I raise my voice at someone (because in reality, I just don’t yell at people) – even after they’ve already raised their voice at me, it means you’re too nice and you need to start cussing more people out.

3. I can’t associate myself with anyone who can’t respect the fact that I love basketball more than life itself. It’s who I am, it’s what I love and it’s not changing.

4. I also can’t associate myself with people who aren’t passionate about anything. While thinking about my favorite people, most of whom I see on a daily basis, I realized that all of them are passionate about something. Of all of the people who I can’t stand, I can’t think of anything they’re passionate about. Go figure.

5. If I’m not writing, I’m not doing anything. I might as well start writing more.

No love for Timmy?

2008-12-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

These last thre weeks we’ve had a lot of questions answered about who are the elite of the league and what teams will be in the running for the Blake Griffin sweepstakes. However, some questions have been left unanswered – until now.

Why doesn’t Tim Duncan get any love from the fans?
In my last MVP rankings I had Tim Duncan ranked sixth amongst his peers as far as MVP consideration went at the time and I got some feedback from readers saying that Duncan was either too high on the list or should have been taken off completely. As a Lakers fan who has watched Mr. Duncan destroy my favorite team on more occasions than I can count on my two hands, I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t get any love from basketball fans around the country considering the Spurs record and the number of games both Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili have missed due to injury this season. After starting 2-5, the Spurs have won 11 of 14 games.

With both Parker and Ginobili out, Duncan has had to start along side the likes of Michael Finley’s old ass, Fabricio Oberto, Roger Mason Jr. and the rookie George Hill. This starting lineup falls short of impressive, but guys like Mason and Finley have stepped up huge and Hill has been even better than advertised (which I guess was expected because the Spurs always draft well). What’s been the most impressive is the way Duncan was still able to play his game despite not having Parker or Ginobili on the floor to take double teams away from him. Now, with Hill getting valuable minutes in Ginobili and Parker’s absence and the great play from Mason Jr., the Spurs look as poised as ever to be contenders in the West, especially if Parker goes back to playing like an MVP candidate like he was before he was injured. If anything, I probably should have had Duncan ranked higher a couple of weeks ago.

Are the Cleveland Cavaliers really that good?
LeBron and co. just saw an impressive 11-game winning streak come to and end and it has many people wondering if the Cavs are really as good as their record is showing. The answer is two-fold bearing in mind who they’ve played during their win streak and the two teams they lost to before the streak started. The first game of the streak was an 110-96 drubbing of the Atlanta Hawks at home – and outside of their 114-94 win over Toronto – that Atlanta game was their toughest game since their loss in Detroit. Before the loss to Detroit the Cavs rattled off eight straight wins with their only tough road game being played in Dallas and their toughest home game featured a Deron Williams-less Utah Jazz team.

With that being said, I still think that the Cavs are the third – maybe even the second best team in the league right now because they’re winning on the defensive end of the floor. During their 11-game winning streak they only allowed one 100-point game, and that was in New York against a Mike D’Antoni team. Even with Zydrunas Ilgauskas on the floor, the Cavaliers have one of the quickest defenses in the league. Mike Brown has done an amazing job of getting this team committed to the defensive end of the floor, and it’s all started with LeBron James. Of course we’re going to see some ridiculous dunk from James on almost every night, but what’s been most impressive is the fact that almost all of his highlights on Sports Center’s Top 10 plays have been off of a steal – and at least twice a week one of his Top 10 plays has been a block preventing a fast break lay-up or him coming help side to make up for Daniel Gibson or Mo Williams being beat off the dribble. There are little-to-no easy buckets against this Cavs team. Sure, people are going to point at their cupcake schedule, but the good teams are supposed to blow out the bad teams, right?

What has been the biggest surprise this season thus far?
At this point, there hasn’t been one huge surprise, but there have been a few players and teams who have stood out and are as follows:

-Devin Harris has been playing out of his mind. Before this season he had never scored 30 points in a game, and now he’s the second best player on my fantasy team (not necessary, but this is probably my favorite 9th round draft pick of all time). He’s worked himself into the conversation of the league’s top seven or eight point guards right now. He has single handedly won at least three to four games for the Nets already. I get just as excited to watch Harris play as I do when a Hornets or a Jazz game comes on.

-Speaking of point guards who are trying to make a claim for a spot on that top 10 point guard list, Rajon Rondo has been simply amazing for the Celtics this season. He’s become fearless and it’s been a lot of fun to watch (and also brutal because the Celtics are a great basketball team while he’s on the floor and just a really good basketball team when he’s sitting). This is slowly – and I stress slowly – becoming his team. Rondo has learned to dictate tempo, he’s been throwing passes that he wouldn’t have even thought about throwing when he got into the league and he’s become a great on-ball defender. He’s a huge reason why the Celtics are on an 13-game winning streak and have the best record in the league.

-There have been an unprecedented amount of coaches fired before Christmas this season. The firing of the King’s Reggie Theus on December 15th marked the sixth coach to be fired before the holidays. What’s stood out to me the most is the fact that Theus was the third light skinned coach to be fired. Half of the coaches fired, a tenth of the coaches in the league or 75 percent of the light skinned coaches in the league are gone. I know this won’t matter to a lot of talkhoops.net’s readers, but it matters to us childish African-Americans who still think it’s funny that light skinned and dark skinned black people are constantly in competition. Now we’re stuck with Doc Rivers. I mean, he’s not terrible and he is the head coach of the defending champions, but I hate the Celtics and that’s just not good enough for me. I mean, I guess I can understand the firing of Mo Cheeks (not really, just more than the others), but as talkhoops.net editor asked: Why fire Eddie Jordan or Reggie Theus. Both of their teams have been plagued by injuries to key players, something you just can’t make up for as a coach in this league. I say conspiracy (I’m watching you Michael Jordan), others say changes just needed to be made (still got my eyes on you, Mike). Whatever it was, it’s not a good look for the league. We need our light skinned coaches.

-Fans across the country have to love the Sergio Rodriguez – Rudy Fernandez backcourt combination. Has there ever been a better, more exciting or more hilarious backup backcourt combination? The Brian Shaw – Isaiah Rider backup backcourt might have been funnier the Manu Ginobili – Ime Udoka backup backcourt might have been better but it would be hard to come up with any other backup backcourt combination that is as fun to watch as the Rodriguez-Fernandez backcourt. I may be one of the biggest Brandon Roy fans in the world, but I wouldn’t even be mad if I came in late to a Blazers game and caught the end of the first quarter to see the Rodriguez-Fernandez backcourt. When the Blazers play Rodriguez, Fernandez and Roy at the same time, it’s like heaven on television.

-The number of likeable players who aren’t “stars” has been ridiculous. My friend Davion and I meet up at this pizza place called Poppa O’s (also know as The Fourth Headquarters) at least once a week to catch one of the three double headers either on ESPN or TNT. Lately, we’ve been having mock drafts for our hypothetical teams that we’ll probably eventually end up making on NBA 2K9 (only because his bum ass didn’t buy NBA Live ’09), but the guys we’ve been drafting will probably never be on an all star team. We’re not picking up guys like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James or Dwyane Wade, we’re drafting guys like Sergio Rodriguez, Paul Millsap, Acie Law, Juan Dixon and Jose Juan Barea. I’ve fallen in love with the non-stars again this season for the first time since the mid to late ‘90s and I love it. Pumping up guys like Aaron Brooks, Andre Blatche, Ronny Turiaf and Spencer Hawes has been one of the best parts of this season. It’s great that there are some good non-stars to watch, but it’s also hilarious. When you can give a guy like Juan Dixon a nickname like “The Eddie House Stopper,” it’s a good basketball season.

1. L. James (1) (22-4) 27.5ppg 6.8rpg 6.3apg 50.3fg%
I really can’t imagine how this man could be stopped if he had just three fourths of the mid-range game and post up game Kobe Bryant has (or had last season… maybe?). He’s a monster in the open floor, he’s always looking for his teammates and his jump-shot is gradually improving (not at a rate we all expected from him, but he’s getting there). I think what has summed up this season for James at this point is the fact that on some nights, when he’s on Sports Center’s Top 10 plays, they have LeBron James packages. Some night’s there isn’t just one play – or two plays, but myriad plays that need to be seen numerous times. If not for anything else, he’s the MVP right now just because he has to be packaged on Sports Center’s Top 10. I can’t think of any other player in any other sport who has been packaged this many times before the half way point of his or her respective season. Right now he’s Jordan in the 86-87 season, Tom Brady in 2007, Roger Federer, Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant in 2006. He’s in a league of his own right now.

2. C. Paul (4) (15-7) 19.7ppg 5.4rpg 11.9apg 2.8spg
I tried to think of one bad thing to say about Chris Paul’s game and the only thing I could come up with is the fact that sometimes, he’s too good for his teammates. Of Paul’s 2.95 turnovers per game, I think you can attribute one per game for him making a play for a teammate who probably didn’t even think that play was even possible to be made. He sees the floor better than any point guard since John Stockton and probably has the best defensive instincts of any point guard ever. His streak of 106 consecutive games with a steal is unheard of. This seems like one of those streaks that could be up there with Cal Ripkin’s 2,632 consecutive starts, Joe Dimaggio’s 56 straight games with a hit and Byron Nelson’s 11 straight PGA Tour wins. This is going to be one of the most untouchable streaks in sports.

3. K. Bryant (2) (21-4) 25.2ppg 5.3rpg 4.3apg 1.5spg
A lot of people are already giving Bryant the washed up tag – something that I can’t understand at this point in his career. As far as I’m concerned, he’s still the best basketball player in the NBA. Sure, LeBron James get’s to the rim better, Chris Paul gets teammates involved and Dwyane Wade is noticeably quicker than Bryant, but no one else in the league possesses the skill set that Bryant has. His mid-range game is still among the league’s elite, he can still post up the majority of the guys who are stuck guarding him one-on-one and he uses angles to take advantage of defenders better than anyone in the league, maybe better than anyone who’s ever played the game. Just because his numbers are down it doesn’t mean his game is down as a basketball player. Sure, 25 points per isn’t 28, 31 or 35, but dropping 25 every night is no easy feat. Neither is leading your team to a 21-4 record.

4. D. Wade (5) (13-12) 28.3ppg 5.1rpg 7.0apg 2.2spg
More than anyone else on this list, Dwyane Wade needs to play well for his team to succeed. During the Heat’s game against the Lakers, ESPN showed a statistic that showed just how much Wade means to the Heat’s success. During a recent three game losing streak, Wade averaged just over 17 points per game. However, during the four game winning streak prior to the losing streak, he averaged just over 34 points per game. If we’re giving the award to the most valuable player and nothing else, Wade definitely has a claim for the award because the Heat will suffer more without Wade than any team who removes a potential MVP candidate. More than anything, I just can’t stress enough how glad I am to see him back and healthy.

5. D. Howard (3) (20-6) 20.8ppg 14.1rpg 3.8bpg 56.9fg%
If he’s done nothing else for the Magic, he’s helped them become a very good defensive team. If there’s anything you want to have when building a defensive minded basketball team is a solid big man who rebounds well and alters shots. Howard has done all of that and more for the Magic to help them to their 20-6 record. It’s much easier to play tight on the parameter when you know you have the league’s leading shot-blocker behind you. With more contested shots, means more missed shots for the opposing teams, and when you have the league’s leading rebounder, you have less demoralizing defensive possessions where offensive rebounds are given up despite a great defensive effort. Because of Howard, the rest of this Magic team has become much more confident on the defensive end, and that’s where the elite teams are winning their games this season. The Magic are third in the league in defensive efficiency, numbers one, two and four are the Celtics, Cavaliers and the Lakers respectively. If Howard stays healthy, the Magic will remain one of the league’s elite teams.

6. T. Duncan (6)
That’s right, Timmy is still sixth on my list of MVPs, but it’s going to be hard for him to climb the list is the Spurs can’t beat some of the league’s better teams. Big losses to Orlando and New Orleans isn’t going to help much.

7. C. Billups (9)
Chauncey Billups has completely changed the culture of the Nuggets. They’ve moved from a team that might have been fighting for an eighth seed to a team that could be playing for a third or fourth seed. It’s amazing what a quality point guard can do for a team.

8. P. Pierce (7)
The only reason Pierce has moved down is the fact that he’s not as valuable to his team as the other MVP candidates are. In fact, Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen (barf) and Rajon Rondo are all pretty much interchangeable here. I just put Pierce because he’s “better than Kobe.”

9. B. Roy (NR)
On December 18th, Brandon Roy scored 52 points, six assists, five rebounds and had no turnovers. Want more? During the Blazers last five games, Roy has been averaging 36.4 points, five assists, 5.6 rebounds and 1.4 blocks per game. He deserves to be here.

10. D. Nowitzki (NR)
The Mavericks are playing well and Dirk may be playing the best basketball of his career. His 26.4 points per game and 9.3 rebounds per game are better numbers than what he put up in 2006, the year he won the MVP.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know. I'll be addressing all arguments in the next edition of my MVP rankings.

Top 10 MVP Candidates Week 1: Giving Thanks

2008-11-29T15:01:00.000-08:00

Lebron is off to a quick start. But remember, he was off to a fast start last season and didn't bring home any hardware to show for it.

Weekly MVP Rankings 1st Edition

Were a little over a month into the season and just days removed from Thanksgiving – and it seems like everyone is already done giving thanks. Why stop when there is so much to be thankful for?

I give thanks everyday for family and friends, the opportunity to continue my education and the fact that I’m not an Oklahoma City Thunder fan (or a Detroit Lions fan, yikes!). I’m definitely giving thanks to the wonderful job that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have done and to LeBron James (yes, Lebron James) for his endless highlights this season.

I continue to give thanks to the Portland Trailblazers for the few times that I’ve gotten to see Rudy Fernandez and Sergio Rodriguez on the floor together. Is there a more exciting Spaniard in sports outside of Rafael Nadal? Absolutely not, and that is why I give thanks.

I give thanks to Michael Curry for holding a practice on Thanksgiving morning, supplying the basketball world with another shipment of what already seemed like an endless supply of Allen Iverson “practice” jokes. Not a game, not a game, not a game. We’re talking about Thanksgiving practice.

I have to give thanks to guys like Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Jason Kidd, Steve Nash, Baron Davis, Jose Calderon, Devin Harris, Derrick Rose, Chauncey Billups and Ramon Sessons (!) for giving us one of the deepest collections of pure point guards since the mid 90s. It’s been amazing watching all of these guys, especially Rose, who has been as good as any rookie point guard I’ve seen in a while, during the course of this first month of NBA basketball.

I’m definitely still giving thanks for signing up for Khlid El Amin’s mailing list so I can get coupons to the El Amin Fish House out in Minnesota. I swear, when I get the time I’m going to get out of California and get to that fish house so I can get the Special #7 – 50 catfish steaks for $64.99. You just can’t beat that.

I give thanks for my seven-month old nephew who cried when Celtics highlights were being shown on Sports Center and when a Boys II Men song was played. Not that I have anything against Boys II Men, I just think it’s hilarious that he has something against them – but best believe that I can’t stand the Celtics.

I give thanks for Dwyane Wade’s return as one of the leagues elite, for Dwight Howard being a man and for Tracy McGrady exclaiming, “Welcome to Houston, BABY!” in one of those Addidas Brother hood commercials, it gets me every time.

(Side note: McGrady and Tim Duncan pick teams between the kids for what I’m assuming is going to be a pick up game and T-Mac says, “My team’s going to win and if you’re not on my team you’re going to wish you’re on my team.” Every time I watch that commercial I think, “there’s no way a McGrady led team is going to beat a Timmy led team.” I’m right, right. I mean, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but McGrady is looking ridiculously old. He isn’t the guy he was three years ago. Injuries have ruined his career, and I wouldn’t be surprised, even with Ron Artest and a healthy Yao Ming, if the Rockets still couldn’t make it out of the first round of the playoffs. His window is closing very fast, and could be closed by the time his contract expires after the 2010 season. There will be a lot of stars on the market that off season, and so will McGrady. By 2010, he will not be a superstar anymore. In fact, I feel like I can argue that he isn’t a superstar now, but I digress).

Last but not least, I give thanks just because I have basketball. I don’t have a lot of things in life that I’d like to have, but I have what I want right now, and it’s basketball. I could fail my History final (which I might have done), I might not remember the last time I got a full night’s worth of sleep and my relationships with some friends may have faltered during the course of this last year, yet, none of that matters, at least not right now because it’s basketball season (and the new Kanye West album just dropped). I’m definitely thankful for that.

Without further ado, here are your 2009 MVP candidates after one month:

1. Lebron James (12-3) 27.9ppg 7.2rpg 6.3apg
Just because I gave thanks to James and have him at the top of this list don’t get the idea that I’m becoming a fan of his. His jump shot is still abysmal (24.6 3P%) and I’m still waiting for him to completely take over the league by developing a post game. However, James has been great this season. The Cavaliers have the second best record in the Eastern Conference and have the third best record in the league – and that credit is not going to Mo Williams. James has been nothing short of spectacular this season and has the funniest shoe commercial out right now.

2. Kobe Bryant (12-1) 23.7ppg 5.0rpg 1.77spg
Kobe definitely isn’t second in the MVP voting because of his statistics. For almost anyone else in the league these would be great numbers, but this is a down season for Bryant, but you can’t argue with the results, a 12-1 record. The Lakers only loss this season came on the only night Bryant took over 30 shots, this is something you might want to monitor. Another thing you should definitely monitor is the number of unnecessary no-look passes (UNLPs) Bryant throws. My friend Davion pointed this out to me a few weeks ago and now I can’t watch a Lakers game without keeping track of his UNLPs. There have been countless times this season when it was strikingly obvious who Kobe was throwing his pass to, yet, he still looked the other way – but the worst part is he always looks the other way after the pass. Can we please get Kobe to stop trying to look cool can continue to play as one of the most fundamentally sound guards of all time? Thanks.

3. Dwight Howard (12-4) 21.2ppg 13.5rpg 3.9bpg
Dwight Howard has six games with at least 20 points and 15 rebounds – and I’m disappointed in this. Howard is A MAN (!), I don’t see why he couldn’t have 20 and 15 at the very least every other night. Outside of his lack of a killer instinct, I’ve loved watching the development of Howard’s game. I mean, just think of what he would be if he got angry every once in a while, it would be scary. I remember at one point in The Incredible Hulk when Tim Roth’s character, before he became the Abomination, was fighting the Hulk and asked him, “Is that all you got?” Immediately after asking the question the Hulk kicked the hell out of him and Roth went flying into a tree. I loved that. Why can’t Howard get that pissed and start kicking people – or at least dunking on them and yelling in their face and blocking their shots into the 47th row of arenas and pulling down rebounds with his elbows out? It has to happen at some point.

4. Chris Paul (9-5) 20.6ppg 12.0apg 52.4 FG%
The only reason Chris Paul isn’t higher on this list is because of the Hornets unexpected slow start. Despite starting off the season with seven straight games with at least 20 points and 10 assists, the Hornets were only able to manage to win four games, just imagine what their record would have been if he wasn’t playing out of his mind. Since the Hornets embarrassing loss to Sacramento, they have won four straight with Paul logging two triple doubles during that span. Also, his 52.4 field goal percentage is outstanding considering he and Tony Parker are the only two guards in the NBA shooting over 50 percent from the field with at least 10 field goal attempts per game. Sometimes I find myself wondering if there has been a better point guard in my basketball watching lifetime (from any season after the 1991-1992 season) and I can’t think of any. Not one.

5. Dwyane Wade (7-8) 27.4ppg 7.5apg 2.53spg
I understand that the Heat’s record is under .500 right now (and they were blown out 106-68 by Portland), but you have to understand what Dwyane Wade has done this season. With a rookie starting at both point guard and power forward, a starting center who is 6’8’’ with shoes on and Shawn Marion’s jump shot, Wade has almost single handedly made the Heat a competitive team while posting some ridiculous numbers. Wade has already had a stretch of four straight 30 point games and a four game stretch with ate least three or more steals. If the Heat had a legitimate center you’d be looking at a team that was three to four games over .500 instead of one under right now. I’m just glad Wade is back and healthy. He’s looked quicker this season that he has at any other point in his career, and that’s just scary.

Rounding out the rest of the Top 10
Tim Duncan
Duncan is the reason the Spurs are still a winning team despite injuries to both Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker. This is going to be a tough team when everyone’s healthy.

Chris Bosh
Bosh is second in scoring and fifth in rebounds. Even with those great numbers, the Raptors are just 7-7.

Paul Pierce
For some reason, he still thinks he’s the best basketball player in the world and for some reason, that’s still beyond me. He’d be higher, but his stats are down in scoring and assists this season – and he wasn’t an MVP last year (don’t forget he plays for the Celtics).

Chauncey Billups
The Nuggets are 9-3 since Billups has joined the team. Even though his numbers have been far from great, why are there still Nuggets fans mad about Iverson being traded?

Amar’e Stoudamire
Stoudamire’s numbers started out great, but he’s only had one multi-rebound game since his 49-point, 10-rebound game on November 5th. He needs to average more than eight boards a game.

Let me know who is too high or too low. Who got left off? Who shouldn't be on the list?

Why I'm obligated to buy Kanye's album

2008-11-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love in life almost as much as basketball is hip hop. I’ve been a Nas fan for as long as I can remember (actually since the “I am” album, my stuttering friend Reggie bought the album when it came out and we listened to that shit in my friend Marcus’ room for hours while playing Madden ’99 on Nintendo 64). I remember loving the album cover because I was a fucking nerd (I’m saying was like I’m not anymore, don’t let the past tense fool you, I’m still a fucking nerd), and I thought the Ancient Egyptians were some of the illest people in history and Nas’ King Tut looking album cover made me a fan, yeah, it was that simple back then, but I was only 12.

I also remember around the same time Beanie Sigel dropped “The Truth,” something I normally wouldn’t have paid attention to back then. However, being the nerd that I was, I loved (I can’t emphasize the word LOVED enough) great production because I was in band and just loved the way some instruments can be put together. I remember watching 106 & Park (I was 12 haha) back when AJ and Free were still there and Sigel’s song The Truth from The Truth album debuted at something like 10 or something and I remember that beat being ridiculous. It’s not very often I hear a beat and just instantly start feeling that shit, but that Graham Nash sample with those simple, but effective drums had me bobbin my head with a face looking something like I just tasted some mashed peas. A few weeks later my friend Reggie had the Beanie Sigel album and brought it over Marcus’ house and we played Madden while listening to it.

The first two songs on that album were “The Truth” and “Who Want What.” These two songs were the cause for our second longest debate about hip hop (the first being about who we thought was better between Red Man and Method Man, I’m still not sure who I like more, but I digress). We argued for hours about which beat was better produced. At this time both, no one really knew who the two producers were. One was Just Blaze and the other was Kanye West. Don’t get me wrong, I loved “Who Want What,” but I just thought “The Truth” was one of the coldest beats I’ve ever heard. Later that year Jay-Z released “The Dynasty” and I thought Just Blaze was the best thing to happen to hip hop because of that damn intro (still a top 10 beat to me) and “Streets is Talking.” Kanye was on the album too, but he just produced “This Can’t be Life” and I really can’t listen to that shit.

The next year J-Hova released the Blueprint (I still think the album is overrated, but whatever) and I had to switch back over to Kanye as the best thing to happen to hip hop (as far as producers go, of course) because of “Heart of the City.” “Izzo” and “The Takeover” get a lot of love, but “Heart of the City” is still my favorite beat of all time (I even wrote this article about how I knew the Lakers were going to win Game 3 of the finals because their pre-game montage was shown with the Heart of the City instrumental playing in the background). Since I’ve heard Heart of the City, I’ve been a Kanye West fan – die hard Kanye West fan at that. As far as fandom goes, it’s the Raiders, the Lakers, USC football and basketball, the Giants, Nas, Kanye West, UNC basketball and Lupe Fiasco. Everything else falls somewhere after those.

I remember how I felt when I heard Kanye West was releasing The College Dropout the same way I remember going to see Eddie Jones play at the Great Western Forum for the first time. I remember where I was the first time I heard Through the wire the same way I remember where I was when Jordan drained the game winner over Bryon Russell. I remember getting goose bumps when I heard the “Good Morning” beat the much like the way I got them when Baron Davis bumped on AK47 and sent the game to a commercial break. I remember not knowing what to do with myself when I heard “Diamonds,” (maybe my second favorite beat of all time and the second verse may be the best 32 bars of his career) just like the way I sat there not knowing what to do with myself when Kobe dropped 81 on the Raptors. Kanye is the only artist who has points in his career that I look back and reminisce on the way I do with sports, which is why I was so pissed when I learned that he was releasing an album that was going to be strictly recorded in auto-tune.

You see, much like several god awful sports moments, there are god awful moments in music, and I thought 808s and Heartbreak would be one of those god awful moments in music. I must say that I definitely overreacted when I heard that the album was in auto-tune. I mean, did I overreact when I learned that the Raiders traded Marcus Allen (who was a god to me in elementary school) to the fucking Chiefs? Probably. But did I stop loving the Raiders? Absolutely not. What about when the Lakers got rid of Eddie Jones or when the Giants traded Matt Williams for Jeff fucking Kent (I’ve never hated a baseball player more than I hate Jeff fucking Kent). I still haven’t stopped loving the Lakers and I still haven’t stopped loving the Giants.

So why should I stop loving Kanye’s music? I shouldn’t. There is nothing I hate more than Chingy, and people who lack loyalty is one of those things. I’ve been loyal to Kanye’s music for too long for me to just drop him off because of what I thought was a potentially bad career move. The funniest part about it is his album leaked about a week ago and I still haven’t stopped playing that shit. Hip hop heads will probably hate it, but artistically, it’s an amazing album. It’s definitely completely different from anything anyone has out right now. Even though he’s using that heinous auto-tune affect, it’s not nearly as obnoxious as the way T-Pain uses it. The production is still amazing, he has some good messages, it’s definitely his most personal album and its creativity is on another level (which for him is amazing considering the fact that he’s been one of the most creative men in hip hop over the last decade).

I’m obligated to buy Kanye’s new album the same way I’m obligated to watch the Raiders game tomorrow. I may hate the way the Raiders are playing, but I’ve invested too much of my life into the team that I have to be there through the good and the bad – except this album isn’t bad as much as it is different. I just thought it would be bad. I’ll write an actual review of his album and Ludacris’ new one after my finals next week. Time to study. Yikes.

Ball don't lie

2008-11-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

Talkhoops.net was linked to yahoo.com's Ball Don't Lie blog. It's not something completely huge, but the more readers we get the better. We got linked for a picture talkhoops.net editor, Zach Harper, posted on the 8 Second violation (ESV). Readers on the yahoo.com blog can post and come up with their own captioins, you should go through and post your own.

Here is the link for the Ball Don't Lie post on our 8 Second Violation

Here is the actual ESV that was posted.

It's the second time I've had something written posted on the blog and the fifth or sixth time the website has been posted there. It's good recgonition I guess.

NICEEEEE!

Notes on the NBA [pt. 2]

2008-11-14T11:45:00.000-08:00

I'm back with another edition of my NBA's observations. You can read this post, along with the rest of talkhoops.net's Eight Second Violation here.

This edition of my observations I get into the Atlanta Hawks. Also, my cousin asked me my thoughts on the Lakers and NBA.com moving Lebron James up six spots in the MVP voting, so I'll share my thoughts on that here too.

Atlanta Hawks
After an impressive first round loss to the Celtics in last season’s playoffs, many wondered if the Atlanta Hawks were going to be able to come back this season as a legitimate threat in the Eastern Conference. After seven games, the Hawks have answered those questons going 6-1 with their one loss coming from a last second shot dropping from the NBA Final’s MVP (I just threw up realizing that Paul Pierce has a Finals MVP), with Al Horford in early foul trouble and without Josh Smith. How have they been doing it?

The Hawks have been winning by playing defense. The Hawks have the league’s fifth best scoring defense allowing just 91.4 points per game. The Hawks didn’t allow any team to break the century mark against them until Smith went down with an injury and only allowed one team (Toronto) to break 90 before Smith’s injury. What’s been most impressive about the Hawks is they’ve played extremely well on the road. Before Smith’s injury, they were only giving up 83 points per game on the road, which included trips to Orlando (85) and to New Orleans (79).

Their athleticism has translated into a legion of versatile defenders. Unlike most teams, the Hawks are able to switch on the majority of screens set by their opposition, which has really given opposing offenses fits. Guys like Joe Johnson, Josh Smith and Marvin Williams are able to guard multiple positions and have been able to reduce the number of open looks teams would normally have off of pick and rolls. If veterans like Mike Bibby, Johnson and Ronald Murray can keep the youngsters in line and if they can stay healthy, this could be a very dangerous team in the East.

Not expected: I just spent the previous two paragraphs talking about Atlanta’s defense, but Mike Woodson has seven guys currently averaging double figures. They’re also turning it over at a low rate (just overt 13 per game, seventh in the league) and they have the leagues eighth best assist to turnover ratio (1.57). Also, the Hawks have shown that they won’t have to rely on Joe Johnson to have big numbers or to take over fourth quarters for them to win games. Against Chicago, Johnson was only four for 16 with 17 points, but got 27, 17 and six blocks from Al Horford and nine points from Mike Bibby in the fourth quarter.

Something to consider: Atlanta’s next nine games are against teams that are a combined six games under .500, playing only two teams (Indiana and Cleveland) who currently have winning records. If the Hawks continue to keep their defensive intensity up, they could finish November with a record somewhere between 16-1 and 14-3. I’m not saying that’s how it’s going to play out, but it’s a definite possibility. They’ve been playing as well as anyone in the league outside of the Lakers and the Jazz. This beyond belief considering that some predicted that Mike Woodson would be the first coach fired this season.

Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers have been scary good to start off this season, and in my opinion, they haven't even scratched the surface of how good they can be on the offensive end. There have been several times this year where the Lakers have gone more than three minutes without scoring, with the majority of those times coming when there were at least three starters on the floor. The Lakers' second unit has played brilliant this season and can be directly attributed for at least two of their wins so far.

What I've liked most about the team so far is the fact that their average margin of victory has been something like 18 points per game (I don't feel like looking up the actual number right now lol) and Kobe still hasn't had one of those games where he's "Kobe." I love the fact that he's keeping opposing teams defenses honest while still getting his (just over 24 ppg). Just knowing Kobe can still go off at any time (as we've seen in three separate fourth quarters this season), makes me feel great about where this season is headed.

When the Lakers traded for Trevor Ariza last season I couldn't be more excited, and all of my boys who hate the Lakers couldn't under stand why -- now they do. He's been amazing off the bench for the Lakers, and so has Jordan Farmar (who I think will be the Lakers starting pg either by the end of this season or the beginning of next). Sasha has been streaky, but that was expected and I love the way Phil Jackson's been using Luke Walton. Every time the Lakers go on those 5-7 spurts of one-on-one basketball (like we saw at the end of the third and the beginning of the fourth against the Hornets) he brings in Walton who he knows will move the ball around. Just the fact that Jackson has the personnel to do that makes me smile (lol).

I can't wait for this game against Detroit tonight.

NBA.com's MVP Voting
As far as NBA.com moving LeBron ahead of Kobe in the MVP race (from 7th to 1st is a huge jump) I could really care less at this point. It's the middle of November and Bron was at the top of everyone's list at this point in the season last year. I do think, if he can keep numbers like this all season and the Cavs win 50 games, I think he'll win the MVP as long as the Lakers don't win something like 70 games or CP3 doesn't continue this ridiculous streak of 20 and 10 games. I really like what Joe Johnson has done this season and he could be a major player for the MVP if the Hawks can stay atop the Eastern Conference. Dwyane Wade's numbers this last week have been stupid. I think he might be quicker than he was before the surgery, and that's just scary.

Gone 'Till November... 10th

2008-11-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

I'll be making my four day trip covering about 36 percent of California's length. I'll be heading out from Bakersfield to Tulare on Friday to visit my mom and a few friends. From Tulare to Fresno early Sunday morning to catch up with a cousin. Then from Fresno to Turlock after that to meet up with another friend, then from Turlock to Sacramento for the Kings-Warriors game after that.

On Monday morning, I'll be attending Associated Press Sports Editors Conference. I'm pretty excited because I'm going to get to meet Randy Harvey, the Sports Editor of the Los Angeles Times, a newspaper I grew up reading.

Then I'll be back in Bakersfield on Tuesday morning to layout my newspaper more inspired than ever to become one of the nation's top sports journalists. I figure three more years of hard work and I'll be well on my way to where I want to be. Three more years...

The Iverson-Billups Trade

2008-11-04T17:16:00.000-08:00

[Note: I started this at 4:30 and just finished it now. It has not been edited in any way, so please, excuse any grammatical errors, spelling errors or any factual mistakes about the game of basketball. Thank You.]

One of the negative aspects about being a college student is the fact that you have ridiculous priorities – essays, newspaper editing, meaningless reading etc. – that you’re forced to put ahead of more important things, like analyzing the recent Pistons-Nuggets trade involving Detroit’s Chauncey Billups and Denver’s Allen Iverson.

Talkhoops.net editor, Zach Harper, wrote this article on the day of the trade on why it was terrible for both sides, and before I really had a chance to think about it (I was editing news stories at the time I heard the news), I pretty much agreed. However, just days after the trade, I have a couple thoughts on why this works for both sides – which will be listed in no particular order. Let’s look at the Pistons’ side of the deal first.

1. Since Chauncey Billups joined the Pistons, ‘Detroit Basketball’ has been the same “go out and play tough on defense and team ball on offense.” We got six years of that, and those who consider themselves true basketball fans who love the game in its purest form had to love every minute of it, I know I did. However, with age becoming a factor (Rasheed Wallace) and the development of their youth (Jason Maxiell and Rodney Stuckey), it can be argued that Joe Dumars is doing the right thing in getting rid of Billups and bringing in Iverson. He brings a change of pace to a core of guys who know how to play together. Instead of not knowing who they’re going to go to at the end of games (Chauncey wore out the nickname “Mr. Bigshot after the 2004 Finals), they now have a proven scorer in Iverson who can close games out.

2. Allen Iverson is in a contract year, and this is important because A) Iverson is 33 and will need to prove that he’s still “The Answer” so he can cash in another huge payday and B) Iverson is being paid over $19 million this season and would he a huge cap relief at the end of this season considering that Billups is just in his second season of a four year contract worth about $46 million. Also, Wallace’s contract also expires at the end of this season, giving Dumars and the Pistons the option to completely make over this team with their young core without completely giving up on this season. Iverson is still the NBA’s toughest competitor and you know he’s going to do his job night in and night out. If he can take the collection of Theo Ratliff, Dikembe Mutombo, Aaron McKie, Eric Snow, Tyrone Hill, George Lynch, Tony Kukoc and Matt Geiger (yes, I did need to name the next eight leading scorers from that team – just for the effect – hell I’ll add in Rodney Buford too) to the NBA Finals, and take a game from a Lakers team who went into the Finals unblemished, it’s safe to say that this Pistons team with Iverson can definitely compete.

Why does this work for the Nuggets? Keep reading.

1. Chauncey Billups has been the leader for the most consistent team in the NBA over the last six years, this cannot be argued. Billups spent six years in Detroit, made six trips to the Eastern Conference Finals, made two trips to the NBA Finals and took the title in 2004 (and yes, I’m still bothered thinking about that season). Unless you’re giving up Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Chris Paul or Deron Williams (I’m only considering parameter players), your team doesn’t get worse by acquiring Billups. In fact, I think that Denver actually gets better with Billups in Iverson’s place. Denver is stacked with guys who can put points on the board (Carmello Anthony, Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza all averaged double figures last season), but they really haven’t had a guy who could control the pace of the game, especially in the half court set – which happens to be everything that has made Billups’ a great basketball player.

2. Let’s just take a moment and reflect on last year’s post season’s biggest joke: The Nuggets defense. In their four games against the Lakers, Luke Walton averaged over 13 points per game. Luke Walton! Not only that, but they gave up over 114 points per contest in that series. As the old homage goes, defense wins championships, which is why Billups has a ring and no one on the Nuggets does. Instead of two guys who don’t play any defense playing over 78 combined minutes per game, you’ll only have one guy out there who’s allergic to playing both ends of the floor and Billups, one of the leagues best defending point guards. Just his presence on the defensive end could make this a second place team instead of a third place team in the Pacific Northwest.

Who got the better end of the deal? In the short run, it’s definitely the Nuggets. There was a possibility of them not even making the playoffs in the Western Conference this season, but with the addition of Billups, I don’t think there’s anyway they don’t make the post season. Are they title contenders now? Absolutely not, but they are a much better basketball team and George Karl might actually get some sleep not having to worry about how to make the Nuggets a more defensive team with Iverson and Melo logging significant minutes.

However, in the long run, this could potentially be a huge deal for the Pistons considering in the summer of 2010 the likes of Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh become free agents. Dumars will have ample amounts of cap space to lure in one of the big names, but again, you really can’t count out the Pistons this season. Iverson, Richard Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, and Sheed is still a great core, especially when Jason Maxiell, Jarvis Hayes and Rodney Stuckey on the bench. I like the trade for both teams.

Thought's on the trade yourself? Let me know!

Obama '08! I hope you voted!

Two Things

2008-11-03T14:47:00.000-08:00

1. Fuck that essay. Glad that shit is over with.
2. Go out and vote tomorrow. I don't care who you vote for as long as he (or she) is not a republican lol.

ps
3. Basketball is back! I'll have thoughts on the Iverson for Chauncy trade either later on tonight or sometime tomorrow.

Notes on the NBA

2008-10-31T12:44:00.000-07:00

During the course of the NBA season I'll be offering my insights on the league about things I think are interesting or things I think may have gone unnoticed. Ususally, they'll be on one specific team and will be posted on talkhoops.net's Eight Second Violation section, a portion of the website that is updated daily. My first observations, posted today on the website, are on the Lakers and their dominance during their first two games.

Notes on the Lakers:

After the Lakers routed both the Portland Trailblazers and the Los Angeles Clippers, one of the most surprising things about the Lakers this season has been their defense. They’re only allowing 77.5 points per game and a measly 36.4 percent from the field – and they’re doing it by playing long stretches of good, solid defense. There have been six separate occasions just in their first two games where they have held their opponent scoreless for longer than three minutes resulting in runs of 8-0, 10-0, 9-0, 17-0, 10-0 and 12-0. What’s more impressive is the fact that one of the Lakers 10-0 runs and their 17-0 run against the Clippers came while their second units were on the floor during the second quarter of each game.

The depth of this team has also made Kobe Bryant quietly more dangerous. It seems ironic because Bryant is only averaging 19.5 points per game and only attempting 14.5 shots a night. Great scorers are always itching to go off and this season, it isn’t going to take much to set Bryant off. It seems Bryant is only going to put up big numbers when he needs to or when he is given a reason to – like he was in the third quarter against the Blazers. Going into the third Bryant had only scored six points, but after a hard foul by Portland’s Joel Przybilla, Bryant rattled off 17 of his team high 23 points in a 9:11 span. Look forward to short, quiet scoring binges at random times and during crunch time from Bryant all season.

Not expected: No one expected Trevor Ariza to play this well this early. He seems to be completely comfortable in the offense and his teammates are very comfortable with him on the floor. Also, he’s shot very well from behind the arch where he was two for two on opening night and two for three against the Clippers. If Ariza can keep up the hot shooting the Lakers bench could potentially be one of the most productive benches in NBA history with Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar and Sasha Vujacic all playing well too.

Something to consider: This trend obviously will not continue during the course of the season, but the Lakers are averaging 11 different scorers per game after their first two. In their game against the Blazers, nine different Lakers scored at least five points and Chris Mihm came in and pick up two points at the end of the game. Against the Clippers, all 12 Lakers who suited up contributed at least four points to their 117-79 victory.

No on Prop 8

2008-10-30T15:00:00.001-07:00

As an aspiring journalist I've grown to learn that without the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, I basically have nothing. I love my freedom of speech, my right to peacefully assemble, my right to petition the government and my right to practice any religion I like. The First Amendment is probably the only great thing about this country outside of the NBA.

On November 4^th (or earlier if you're voting absentee like me), we all will have the opportunity to have our voices heard and we'll have some pretty important decisions to make, especially out here in California. On the ballot this year, there is a Proposition in line set to take away some of our most fundamental rights as citizens. Proposition 8, if passed, will take away a minority group's First Amendment right of freedom of expression.Taking away the rights of gay and lesbian citizens is just the first step in taking away the rights from the rest of us. If one can say that the First Amendment doesn't apply to those who aren't heterosexual, who's going to stop them from saying that the First Amendment doesn't apply to me? If we can't fight for their rights now, there will be no one to fight for ours later. This isn't about whose religion says what, it's about interpreting the constitution the right way. Let's all grow up and do the right thing. Gay and lesbian couples are not going to stop you from practicing your religion. Your priest or pastor is not going to have to perform gay or lesbian ceremonies – and most importantly, your children are NOT going to be taught gay marriage in public schools. Hell, they don't even teach regular marriage in public schools.

I think it's imperative that we, as a state, make the right decisions when voting just days from now. When we look at the underlining of Proposition 8, we have to consider everything that minority groups have had to go through in the past. African Americans had to struggle just to become citizens in this country. Women had to struggle just to have the right to vote. 18 year old men had to fight for the right to vote while they were being sent off to wars and now we think it's a good idea to say that men and women don't have the right to marry who they want to marry.

Obviously, a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman isn't the "traditional" marriage, but really, who gives a shit? In a society where the number of "traditional" divorces per year consistently hovers around 1,000,000, why should we be worrying about gay and lesbian couples tying the proverbial knot? More importantly, who decided that banning certain groups from being married is constitutional?

We live in a country where the citizens have the wrong idea about how this country was founded. We tend to assume that this country was built on Christianity when it clearly states in our constitution that this country was built on the freedom of religion – which also means the freedom from religion. As U.S. citizens, we have just as much a right to not practice Christianity as we do, so why should the union of two people who feel they are in love be based upon one particular religion's views? The short answer is, it shouldn't. As much as one might not like the idea of a gay or lesbian union, it's unconstitutional to revoke the right to marry from anyone.

Become media literate, read something and go out and vote. Stop feeding the bullshit, starve all of it. This shouldn't be a controversial issue. It's 2008.

Quick questions

2008-10-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

I was just reading this book I have to write an essay on by Monday and for some reason I just started thinking about these two questions (which have nothing to do with the book or have everything to do with the book).

What is the purpose of having a good heart within such a cold world?

What purpose would it serve to conform to the coldness of this world?

Tomorrow Night

2008-10-27T09:50:00.001-07:00

I can't wait for my favorite holiday, the NBA's opening night. It's the only night of the year where I'm strictly opposed to working (yes, I'll be skipping class tomorrow night). We'll have a TNT double header with the evil ass Boston Celtics taking on the Cleveland Caviliers in the first game and the Portland Trailblazers traveling to Los Angeles to play all that is good in basketball, the Lakers. I can't wait! It's the most wonderful time of the year.

NBA Predictions

2008-10-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Talkhoops.net will have their annual predictions round table. It will feature all of our writers' opinions on who will win the various NBA awards and who will win it all. I just though I'd post all of my predictions on here. Agree or disagree, these are my thoughts on this up coming season.

Post your predictions too!

(note: I've also been writing some individual team previews on the website too. Be sure to check out talkhoops.net for all of the team previews and some fantasy basketball articles too.)

MVP- Kobe Bean Bryant
His scoring average may come down, but field goal percentage, assists and steals could go up. Oh, and wins too.

Most Improved- Mike Conley Jr.
He was playing great at the end of the season and has a couple of scoring threats who should help his assist total rise.

6th Man- Rodney Stuckey
Stuckey had a great season last year and he’s going to be a huge reason the Pistons stay a part of the Eastern Elite.

Defensive Player of the Year- Ron Artest
He’s playing on a good team, he’s one of the best parameter defenders since Pippen and he’s in a contract year.

Coach of the Year- Nate McMillan
I know Jerry Sloan seems like popular choice for reasons I don’t understand. Portland can increase their win total by 10 and the media already loves this team.

Rookie of the Year- Rudy Fernandez
I’ve been waiting for this. That’s why he’ll win.

All NBA 1st team (5 guys)
Chris Paul
Kobe Bryant
Lebron James
Kevin Garnett
Tim Duncan

All Rookie 1st team (5 guys)
Derrick Rose
Eric Gordon
Brandon Rush
Michael Beasley
Mareese Speights (He’s played well in Dalember’s absence.)

All Defensive 1st team (5 guys)
Note: I wanted to just write Dylan (from Da Band) for all five spots.
Bruce Bowen
Ron Artest
Shane Battier
Kevin Garnett
Marcus Canby

Team with best record- Boston Celtics
Anyone who thinks the Lakers are going to win 60+ games this year hasn’t been watching Western Conference basketball for the last decade.

Team with worst record- Oklahoma City Thunder
Because Stone Cold said so

Biggest surprise team- Philadelphia 76ers
The 76ers are going to be markedly better this season. They could very well finish second or third in the East this season.

Most disappointing team- Utah Jazz
There are very high expectations for this team that will not be met because Carlos Boozer is overrated.

1-8 Playoff seeds for each conference

Eastern Conference
1. Celtics
2. Pistons
3. Philadelphia
4. Orlando
5. Cleveland
6. Toronto
7. Miami
8. Chicago?

Western Conference
1. Lakers
2. Houston
3. Utah
4. New Orleans
5. San Antonio
6. Portland
7. Phoenix
8. Dallas

ECF Prediction (Celtics over Pistons)
I’m hesitant to pick any other two Eastern Conference teams. No one else in the East has proved that they can win in the playoffs.

WCF Prediction (Lakers over Rockets)
Tracy McGrady will finally get out of the first round, but there is no way he’s going to stop Kobe from getting back to the Finals.

Finals Prediction (Lakers over Celtics)
Southern California and Boston basketball fans are giddy just thinking about a rematch. Honestly though, this could go either way. Don’t count out the Celtics just because the Lakers have Andrew Bynum (sigh).

Rookie Bust- D.J. Augustine
Everyone is in love with this kid, the Bobcats will make a huge mistake when they trade Felton away.

Best 2nd Round Pick- Luc Mbah a Moute
His pre-season numbers: 31 rebounds; 11 assists; 11 steals. Who cares how much he’s scored (8.3 ppg, but who’s counting?). Everyone needs a utility guy like Mbah a Moute.

Coach first to be fired- P.J. Carlesimo
Quoting talkhoops.net writer, Ed Maisonet: If your coach has previously been choked by his own player, you should expect him to eventually get fired.

GM first to be fired: Rod Higgins
It has to be Higgens. He drafted D.J. Augustin while Jared Bayless was still on the board… and the Bobcats have to be one of the worst put-together teams in NBA history.

Games until Vince Carter quits on his team: 15
It’s the number he wears.

Big Name Player most likely to be traded: Lamar Odom
The Lakers need a more conventional small forward and Lamar Odom is in his contract year.

Any other predictions? Questions? Disagree with anything? Let me know!

One Week Away...

2008-10-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

We're just one week away from the NBA's tip off. I'll be on edge until next Tuesdasy, but until then I'll be having a few predictions and I'll be writing some previews on a few teams on Talkhoops.net.

The NBA... It's Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnntassssstic!

The Future

2008-10-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

These three guys, along with Rudy Fernandez, will do great things in the NBA. Personally, I can't wait to see the rest of the Brandon Roy era in Portland. I'm definitely a fan.

Lupe Fiasco

2008-10-16T09:52:00.001-07:00

I was listening to him this morning and heard this line. It's far from amazing, but it's the realist shit he ever spoke. He's taking the game to another level and is the double entendre/punchline champion and I'll go line for line with anyone who disagrees.

"I will take rap to where niggas can't conceive/ to the point where niggas can't agree on which song is best and the argument is if I am better than me"

Fuck the Dodgers

2008-10-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the greater Los Angeles area as one of the only Giants fans south of Central California, and I grew up despising everything Dodgers. Much like the color green, I don’t own anything even remotely close to royal blue because I hate the team that much. Well, I’m in college going in Bakersfield (what I consider Southern-Central California – damn this state is enormous) and the people out here have pretty much adopted Los Angeles’ teams as their own. After the acquisition of Manny Ramirez, I heard nothing but World Series talks from everyone who decided it was okay to start sporting that heinous Dodger blue again and, as a Giants fan who wears that logo on every hat I own (except one Phillies hat – I because a huge Rollins fan his second season after reading about him in ESPN the Mag), I was obviously disgusted with this sudden wealth of fanaticism.

The Dodgers came into this post-season as one of the hottest teams in the league and ran through the Cubs the way Karl Malone runs through unsuspecting high school girls, and this just furthered my annoyance with all Dodger fans out here. Just as soon as the Phillies finished off Heavy P (Prince Fielder) and the boys everyone and their mothers were writing off J-Roll and the rest of the City of Brotherly Love. I really felt like I was the only guy out here giving the Phillies a shot. This is why it was a breath of fresh air when I read a Ross Newhan article when I picked up the Los Angeles Times this morning (God the Times is brutal when the Dodgers make the playoffs).

Here's the story:

It's unbelievable, truly unbelievable.

This is what the archives serve to remind me that I have read over the last week:

* The Dodgers lost Game 1 of the National League Championship Series to the Philadelphia Phillies because starter Derek Lowe was allowed to stay in too long.

* They lost Game 2 because Philadelphia's Brett Myers was permitted to pitch inside with impunity and Chad Billingsley didn't respond.

* They won Game 3 because Hiroki Kuroda did pitch inside, throwing a fastball over the head of Shane Victorino in the process (of course, none of the scribes telling Dodgers pitchers they need to send a message to Philadelphia hitters have ever stood at the plate against a head-high fastball, or seen their son in the dirt after being hit in the helmet by a major league fastball, as I have).

* They lost Game 4 because this time starter Lowe wasn't allowed to stay in long enough.

My head is spinning, and I need to ask:

Has anyone stopped to think that the Dodgers are trailing, 3-1, in the series because Philadelphia is a better and more complete team?

Does anyone realize that Manager Joe Torre isn't operating with a full complement of postseason-caliber players?

Can anyone recall that only two months ago the Dodgers were a sub-.500 team trailing Arizona in a National League West that didn't exactly resemble Appaloosa and the only difference between that Dodgers team and this one is Manny Ramirez?

I mean, Ramirez is having one of the greatest stretches of big-time hitting any of us has been fortunate to see or will be fortunate to see again, but by now his back must be bending from the load.

How far and for how long can one man carry a team?

Of course, the way he's hitting there's still a possibility that he can tote the Dodgers into the World Series, but they will have to come back against a team that boasts the last two winners of the league's most valuable player award, an array of All-Stars, a closer who hasn't blown a save this year and a balanced bullpen and bench.

Yes, the Dodgers had it all together and swept the Chicago Cubs in the division series. The commissioner didn't require a saliva test, so we're not quite sure how that happened except we're all aware that the Cubs have to cope with decades of historical baggage in October, as well as the opposing pitcher.

Maybe the Dodgers can win three in a row again and salvage this series with the Phillies, but consider what they will be looking at and for once they have played their final game.

* With Lowe headed to free agency and no assurance Brad Penny or Jason Schmidt will be back, they will need to acquire at least one starting pitcher.

* With Takashi Saito's elbow becoming a prolonged issue and Jonathan Broxton lacking the reliability of Jonathan Papelbon, they may need a closer and definitely have to rebuild the bullpen with healthier and more versatile arms.

* With Jeff Kent heading into retirement as a pinch-hitter, Rafael Furcal and Casey Blake eligible for free agency, Nomar Garciaparra enduring another season of injuries and Blake DeWitt yet to play a full major league season at one infield position, who is on first is the only question that can be answered definitively about the 2009 infield.

* Then there's Ramirez, also eligible for free agency. If owner Frank McCourt, as I recently wrote, doesn't take equity out of his new Malibu mansion and hope that the Ramirez of late '08 will hold up for four or five more seasons, as performer and personality, he will be back where he was two months ago with a floundering offense.

These are the shortages, outages and plain facts with which Torre and the Dodgers are dealing.

So, second guess if you must, dissect if you want, but keep one verifiable aspect in mind:

If the Dodgers had beaten the superior Phillies, or if they rally to beat them in what will now take seven games to do, it would have been an upset or will be an upset, pure and simple.

Thanks, Newhan. You made my day.

What we've all been waiting for

2008-10-06T11:59:00.000-07:00

Remember when basketball players use to wear goggles (see: Horace Grant or Kareem Abdul Jabar)? Well, Amare Stoudamire was recently poked in the eye by teammate Boris Diaw and said that he's considering wearing goggles for the rest of his career. I couldn't be more excited.

Let the Amare with goggles era commence!

Why my school is lame

2008-10-05T17:16:00.001-07:00

This is Horace Mitchell, the president of our school, and a cow. We may not be having a midnight madness here at CSUB (for the second fucking year in a row) but our president sure has a long time to go hanging out with cows.

fuck bakersfield

Nothing new here [from ESPN.com]

2008-10-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

NEWPORT, R.I. -- Darius Miles says he has no clue what made him fail a drug test that will cause him to serve a 10-game suspension if he makes it through training camp with the Boston Celtics.

Speaking at length Tuesday for the first time since his suspension was announced by the NBA over the summer, Miles said he never took diet pills -- the over-the-counter medication in which the banned stimulant he tested positive for, phentarmine, is most commonly found -- and had never taken any medication other than what was prescribed by Portland's doctors and trainers.

"I wish I knew. I really do wish I knew, but [Celtics president] Danny Ainge told me 'leave it alone,' so I left it alone," Miles said.

The NBA e-mailed teams over the summer to alert them to Miles' pending suspension after it became clear he was serious about a comeback. The Portland Trail Blazers released him and had an insurance company on the hook for his salary after an independent physician confirmed the team doctor's opinion that Miles would never be able to return from microfracture surgery on his right knee.

The move allowed the Blazers to remove the remaining $18 million and two seasons left on Miles' old six-year, $48 million contract off their salary cap, but that money would go back on Portland's cap -- reducing their max available cap space next summer from roughly $30 million to $21 million -- if Miles is able to play in 10 NBA games.

As it is, if Miles makes the Celtics (who have 16 players in camp, with Miles and Sam Cassell the only ones with non-guaranteed contracts), he would be ineligible to suit up until Boston's 11th game, Nov. 15 at Milwaukee. If Miles were to play in that game and eight of the next nine, he'd have an opportunity to both seek revenge against his old team and kill two-thirds of their cap space for next summer if he steps onto the court for what would be his 10th game, Dec. 5 when Portland travels to Boston.

The 26-year-old Miles, who has not played in an NBA game since the 2005-06 season, said he worked out for Charlotte, Dallas, Phoenix and New Jersey before deciding to to take a shot at replacing James Posey for the defending NBA champions.

He said there is no pain, only stiffness, in his surgically repaired right knee, and he was the fastest big man on the court Tuesday afternoon when coach Doc Rivers ordered the losing team from a scrimmage to run 17 cross-court wind sprints, with the enticement that the first big man to do eight would not have to finish all 17. Miles also bragged that he had dunked over rookie Bill Walker during his two months of workouts with Celtics players over the summer. He did not seem bitter over the drug suspension, although he admitted his willingness to appeal was altered when he learned that the lost earnings from the suspension would be deducted from his Celtics' contract, not his more lucrative Blazers' deal.

"I'll just serve my suspension. I could have gone to a team that would have me to appeal it and fight it, but I went to a team that told me to leave it alone, so I'll leave it alone," Miles said. "What's better than to come back from an injury and play for the champs? That makes me look good and other teams look bad."

ESPN.com senior writer Chris Sheridan covers the NBA for ESPN Insider.

Yes! Yes! Yes! pt. 2

2008-10-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

The first NBA pre-season games are only four days away. I'm not going to sit here and front like I'm not excited.

NBA: Where verve-less guys like Mr. Barnett actually show enthusiasm happens.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is ridiculous

2008-09-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

This has to be one of the greatest impressions of all time. Tina Fey is a beast.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

2008-09-29T09:54:00.001-07:00

Just 29 days until the NBA tips off! Best believe I'm on that count down.

Screw Christmas, opening night of the NBA is the most wonderful time of the year!

Stay Hideous
PB

On that USC low...

2008-09-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

After two weeks Adrian has jumped out ahead of everyone with 22 correct picks. Zach and I have picked correctly for two weeks straight while Mike is one off of our pace. Ed, well, he missed a week. Lets check the standings.

Adrian 22-9
Phillip 19-12
Zach 19-12
Mike Turner 18-13
Ed the Sports Fan 10-6

Before I get my picks in, know that you can join in at any time, after week four I start posting picking percentages, so if you haven’t been with us from the beginning, you can still win by picking at a higher rate than the rest of us. Here are my picks for the week:

Minnesota
>Tennessee

>Denver
Kansas City

>San Francisco
New Orleans

Arizona
>New York Jets

Green Bay
>Tampa Bay

Atlanta
>Carolina

Houston
>Jacksonville

Cleveland
>Cincinnati

>San Diego
Oakland

>Buffalo
St. Louis

Washington
>Dallas

Philadelphia
>Chicago

>Baltimore
Pittsburgh

Football... what's the point?

2008-09-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Raiders suck, USC loses to bums, why watch.

I've never had both of my teams out of contention for a championship before the end of September before. I'm deeply saddened by USC's lack of heart -- and more importantly, I now have to hope North Carolina can deliver me that damn Sports Illustrated Subscription. Bastards.

My picks will be up before Sunday

Quick Update

2008-09-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

I promise that I'll catch up with the NFL picks. Consider week 3 our bye week. I've been super busy lately. Here are a few updates on sports and life. Word to your mother.

Football
The Raiders actually look like a football team. Sure they still suck, but they're at least watchable (well, everyone except that punk ass DeAngelo Hall; he's just moved ahead of Harvey Williams long ass neck and Aaron Brooks on my list of most hated Raiders of all time). They're 1-2, but if it weren't for Hall's inability to earn his fucking keep (who decided he was worth 7 million fucking dollars anyway?). Fuck DeAngelo Hall, that's all I'm saying.

Baseball
Fuck the Dodgers. I hope they crumble this final week and the Diamondbacks snatch the NL West back from their punk asses.

Basketball
I desperately need it to start. I ain't too proud to beg.

School
All of my professors have conspired to give me several hours of reading to do every fucking night. I'm pretty much behind on my reading already (only the second Monday of the quarter!) and I'll have a test on every Tuesday and Wednesday night (on the reading that I'm behind in!). My GPA is either going to be above a 3.5 or below a 2.0 this quarter. There will be no inbetween. I better catch up on that fucking reading.

Editor in chief
So far I feel completely unprepared for the position. I'm responsible for way too many people and I don't have the time to be responsible for them right now (behind on my reading!). I've re-learned that I could possibly be the worst public speaker alive (um...) and I don't know as much as I thought I did (um...) and (um...) these first couple of (um...) weeks are (um...) going to be brutal. The first edition of the paper comes out on Wednesday. Hopefully it doesn't come out shitty. Well, it won't because there were a few good stories, but shit, I want to be sports editor again.

Chuck Klosterman
I bought his new book, Downtown Owl, the day after it dropped (like that shit's an album or something). This may have been the dumbest mistake of my collegiate career. I keep wanting to read it knowing all of the other shit I need to be reading (like the shit I'm behind on!). I'm only a few chapters in but the temptation to pick it up is forever nagging. If you have free time, and if you're a fan of his work (because, unfortunately, I don't think this is a book you can appreciate unless you're familiar with his writing style) I suggest you go pick it up as soon as possible. It won't disappoint.

Week 2: On that USC high

2008-09-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to post the records from last weeks picks right now, they'll be up tomorrow. But I'd like to say USC did that tonight -- bum ass Ohio State didn't even sniff the end-zone. Anywho, here are my week two picks. Sorry they're up so late...

SUNDAY
Green Bay
>Detroit

Oakland
>Kansas City

>New York (G)
St. Louis

>Indianapolis
Minnesota

Tennessee
>Cincinnati

>New Orleans
Washington

Chicago
>Carolina

>Buffalo
Jacksonville

San Francisco
>Seattle

Atlanta
>Tampa Bay

New England
>New York (J)

Miami
>Arizona

San Diego
>Denver (upset special)

>Pittsburgh
Cleveland

MONDAY
Philadelphia
>Dallas

Fucking Kanye, man...

2008-09-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

I just got some terrible news about my favorite producer-rapper (not to be confused with him being my favorite producer [still Quincy Jones] or my favorite rapper [still Nas being closly followed by Lupe Fiasco]). But I have mad love for Kanye (well, at least had until recently).

"Find out when Kanye West returns to hip hop! So, an EXTREMELY reliable source (Young Legend, GOOD LOOKS!) has just revealed to me that the title of Kanye’s 4th solo Lp is, 808’s & Heartbreak and it’s arriving December 16th. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, LowKey ain’t BS’ing, 808’s and Heartbreak will be hitting stores December 16th and you heard it from LowKey FIRST! I’ve also learned also that Kanye’s vocals for the entire Lp will be sprinkled with the Auto-Tuner (T-Pain’s magic vocal toy, lol). Why?? Don’t ask me, but I can assure you this will probably be 2008’s most interesting piece of audio.

After finding out the title to the LP, I now understand the title of the first single and its content. Legend also explained to me that this project will be somewhat equivalent to Andre 3000’s, The Love Below. Some are confused as to why he’s returning so early, but with the loss of his mother and the split with his fiance, Alexis Phifer, one could only imagine that type of ish he has to get off his chest!"

The first thing I thought was, "noooooooooooooooooooooo!" Then I thought about that song he did with Young Jeezy, "I Put On", and thought about what I said to my boy Davion, "If Kanye continues to do this shit I'm no longer a fan."

So what did I do, I picked up the Blackjack II, texted Davion about this "rumor" and told him if it's true I'll no longer be a fan -- and I'm not kidding.

For those of you who know me you're probably thinking, "nah, you'll still love Kanye, he'll still be hilarious and the beats will still be fresh." And you're right, he will still be funny (see: Swagger Like Us, a TI song featuring Ye, Hova and bum ass Lil Wayne), and the beats will still be dope (see: Jockin' Jay-Z or Swagger Like Us), but fuck that shit, I have standards. Wayne is funny every once in a while, so is Young Jeezy but I don't listen to those bastards just because of that -- and I'm sure as hell not going to listen to Kanye's ass if he keeps up with that autotone bullshit. That shit was cool when Black Street used it. That shit was cool when Roger and Zapp used it, but it's 2008 damnit, I don't need one of my favorite artists in the game ruining my life with that annoying ass affect -- the fucking reason I despise every damn song T-Pain is on (and yes, I loathed "The Good Life" when that shit dropped.)

Kanye is starting to piss me off. I went from being his biggest fan (mostly for his pre-College Dropout productioin, production and lyrics on The College Dropout and his hilarious mixtapes), to an even bigger fan (mostly for his Late Registration Productioin) to a really big fan who felt he sold out (mostly because he had Mos Def, Talib Kweli and Common on his first album and T-Pain and Lil Wayne on his third) to being utterly disgusted (mostly because there are rumors of him using auto tone for his whole fucking fourth album.)

I'm just letting you know, if that shit is true, I'm never actually buying one of his albums again (and I bought the first two twice! only because my first copies were stolen though).

Damn I'm pissed.

Stay Hideous
-PB

PS!!!!! IF ANYONE CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON A MIXTAPE CALLED "THE LAST DRAGON" BY SOME GUY NAMED OZY REIGNS PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND GET ME A COPY. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS SHIT FOR THREE DAYS! OZY REIGNS IS A NEW HOT LYRICISTS -- REMEMBER WHO PUT YOU UP ON HIM WHEN HE GETS BIG!

BUT REALLY THOUGH, HIT ME UP IF YOU CAN FIND THAT SHIT -- AND YOU KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE I NEVER TYPE IN ALL CAPS!

THANKS

NFL... It begins [Week 1]

2008-09-05T14:25:00.000-07:00

Last season on my blog on myspace I was posting my picks every week and had a few other friends join in and it got a little competitive. This season I'll be doing the same, only here on my damn blog. Last year Zach Harper of Talkhoops.net finished the season on top -- I don't plan on letting that happen again this year. Since I don't have much time right now I'm just going to get my picks out of the way.

By the way, there will be a prize for this years winner -- a hideous shirt! If I win, I'm getting myself another one!

My picks will have the carrot next to them, away teams will be on top

THURSDAY (Note: this game already happened and I had the Redskins anyway.)
>Washington
New York (G)

SUNDAY
>Detroit
Atlanta

Seattle
>Buffalo

>New York (J)
Miami

Kansas City
>New England

>Tampa Bay
New Orleans

St. Louis
>Philadelphia

Houston
>Pittsburgh

>Jacksonville
Tennessee

>Cincinnati
Baltimore

>Carolina (upset special of the week!)
San Diego

>Arizona
San Francisco

>Dallas
Cleveland

>Chicago
Indianapolis

MONDAY
Minnesota
>Green Bay

Denver
>Oakland

The Willie Lynch Letters, really?

2008-08-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I received an e-mail from one of my estranged aunts about a picture caption on my myspace page. The picture is of my sister and I in the stands of our cousin’s graduation with a little girl in the background trying to get into the picture. The caption reads “There’s a little dark girl trying to get into the picture in the back.” The e-mail that was sent to me included the fact that Egyptian queens and princesses were considered beautiful back in their prime (okay…), super model Christy Brinkley is hot (I’ve never heard of her…) and the mentioning of the Willie Lynch Letter (a speech given almost 300 years ago). Obviously bothered, I had to respond to her damn e-mail. The following contains an excerpt from the e-mail (actually, the whole e-mail minus a few sentences) and starts out with a quote from her e-mail to me. She spelled perpetuates wrong…

“Society pertuates that light or white epitomizes what beauty is i.e. Super Model Christy Brinkley or light skinned girls with long straight hair in the black videos is what is use to symbolize what beauty is. As a result the "Willie Lynch Letter" is in full effect!”

This shit never fails does it? I make a joke on my myspace page about a girl who is obviously of the darker nation and every black woman in her 40s and 50s who experienced the Civil Rights Movement first hand has to jump on my back as if statements like yours are helping to end the proliferation of racism and sexism in the United States. As an educated black man who happens to hold grudges, I’m more than offended that you’d throw the “Willie Lynch Letter” in my face not knowing the circumstances. Sure, I’m a light skinned brotha who pointed out that some young woman is darker than I, but there was nothing more to be read into that. I didn’t say that she was an ugly dark skinned girl (which she obviously isn’t) nor did I say that I wouldn’t be attracted to a woman whose skin is darker than mine (because I’m definitely not that shallow).

I know what’s going on with race relations in this country, and in reality, I feel that everything that is learned about racism, sexism or ageism (if we really want to get technical about that damn speech given almost 300 years ago), is learned in the home. The experiences that are learned from our families are the experiences that we take with us into the real world, and I’ll hold that truth to be relevant until my days on this earth are up and only the words that I’ve written over the years live on – which is why I took immediate exception to this e-mail. The “Willie Lynch Letter” was written to keep African-Americans divided and to keep plantation profits up. If one thing remains true from that letter, it’s Lynch’s statement that black men and women will carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for hundreds of years – and this truth was never more evident to me than a few months back when you, Auntie Bridget, tried splitting my immediate family apart by attacking my mother through both my sister and me.

I don’t know what you wanted, but I do know that you went about it the way slave masters from the 1700s would have loved for you to do it. I’ve taken that experience and learned that everyone in the world can be as cut-throat as they need to be to get what they want, even if it means coming between family. I understand where you’re coming from as a black woman, because I lived exclusively with black women for five years of my life. However, I don’t need you, or anyone else, throwing that “black is beautiful” bullshit at me because that phrase is the epitome of the propagation of reverse-racism. Instead of seeing colors, how about “people in general are beautiful.” If for some reason I happen to find a white woman extremely attractive and marry her, it isn’t because of societies perpetuation of what is or is not beautiful, it’s because I have found her beautiful (or intelligent or hilarious or all of the above). We need to give up this “media is controlling beauty” argument because it’s just become an excuse for why black women are losing black men. Instead of consuming so much of the mass media, why not go out and create your own reality.

Further more, instead of chastising me for pointing out the obvious, why not go after the black men and women across this country who live and die by what is written in the Bible. This country was built by the hands of African American’s who had their basic rights as humans taken away by white men who need the cheapest labor possible to make this the “world’s greatest country.” I mean, there are specific passages in the Bible that men used to justify slavery and prolong subjugation as long as possible. In the wake of the Civil War, Jefferson Davis, the president of the confederate states after the South broke away from the Union said, “Slavery is an established decree of Almighty God. It is sanctioned in the Bible, in both Testaments, from Genesis to Revelation.” We hear about everything morally right about the Bible ad nauseam, but the same people who were oppressed because of this book continue to warship the God who condones such an evil practice of the human race. In Exodus, the guidelines for buying, selling, and treating slaves is clearly outlined. In First Timothy, we learn how slaves should look at their masters and in both Matthew and John it clearly states that slaves are not better than their masters.

I want to read your assumptions about how I feel about women of color as much as I want to hear anything about race equality, sex equality or class equality from the mouth anyone who totes a Bible around with them all day and claims that the way of the Lord is the right way. I’m tired of being preached to about race issues from people who don’t look at things from both ends of the conjectural spectrum. I merely pointed out that a girl was dark skinned to get a laugh from a couple of friends on my myspace page, something no one should ever take seriously. Had I known that I was going to get “The Lynch Letters” thrown in my face like I’m just some average ignorant nigga (a phrase not to be taken literally, please, spare me) maybe I would have written a more controversial caption.

This shouldn’t be a big deal.

Stay Hideous,
PB

Phillip on this, Phillip on that

2008-08-27T17:09:00.001-07:00

Phillip on the Democratic National Convention so far…

I was strangely consumed with one speech in particular last night, Mark Warner’s, for two reasons. One, he looked plastic and looked like he was taken right out of the cartoon “American Dad” and two, he was a terrible speaker with an amazing message. I sat on my bed late last night (I didn’t get to see it live because I was working) both amazed and disgusted at the same time. He often paused for roaring applauses he was sure would come, but didn’t, and had one of the corniest voices I’ve ever actually sat and listened to (and I wouldn’t have if his speech wasn’t so good). But he caught my attention early when he said that the race for the future was the most important race we’re currently in – and it can’t be won with a president who is stuck in the past. That shit was brilliant, however, not as brilliant as Bob Casey’s speech.

I don’t remember anything that fucker said, but he had that whole crowd chanting “four more months” twice during the course of his speech. Not four more years, but four more months of that Republican bullshit that has been tearing this country down for eight years. I only watched Hillary Clinton’s speech just to see Bill Clinton’s reactions. If you missed it last night, you missed seeing the proudest man in America while Hillary spoke. I mean, if you could have seen the faces that fucker made you would have been envious of the love (or admiration) he had for Hillary. It was ridiculous and disgusting and amazingly entertaining to watch. And when Hillary mentioned Bill’s administration in the 90s, he leaned back with that “yeah, I did that face.” I was in tears from laughing so hard. I’m interested in seeing Bill Clinton’s speech tonight. It could be the funniest speech yet, or the most disturbing as far as Obama’s candidacy goes. Either way, it’s must see TV.

Phillip on women and ex-GFs…

Before I get on my rant about ex-girlfriends (well, I actually won’t be ranting because I’m above that shit) I just want to point out that pretty women are the root of all evil. There is a saying that is along the lines of “everything is done to pay the mortgage.” Well, for those of us renting out apartments, everything is done to please a pretty woman. I know every dude in the world who thinks he’s the pimp of the year or just has a glut of hoes on his jock is going to say that he doesn’t need to do shit to please a woman – well, that’s where you’re absolutely wrong. There is nothing more capable of making a great day terrible or a terrible day great than a pretty woman, and this truth is becoming more and more evident as I watch the moods of my friends change simply by communicating (or not communicating) with different women – hell, I’m even a victim of this from time to time (calm down Davion hahaha). I just wanted to let all of the fellas know, stay away from pretty girls if you can! They’ll murder your soul (and to all of the pretty women out there reading this, I don’t really mean that!).

One more thing, my boy Davion and I went out to a club together for the first time last weekend (you think that’s weird, we’ve known each other for about seven years or so and actually shook hands for the first time a couple weeks ago, strange indeed). I must say, we were totally caught off guard by the drunken bitches in the club that night (I’m only calling them bitches because I didn’t know all of their names individually hahahaha). I was actually disgusted not only by them, but by dudes who don’t have enough game to pick up sober girls. I mean, it’s obviously easy to pay a few dollars to get into a club and walk out with some broad who had one too many. Dudes, step your games up, ladies, stop drinking so much because niggas like us laugh at you and write blogs about it (yeah, you too Jessica, I told everyone about you falling while trying to dance with me hahahaha!). Drunk girls are overrated, but best believe we’re going back for the sheer comedy. I’m tripping drunk girls on purpose next time.

About a week and a half ago my (ex) friend Fernando came into town. He and Davion did their little dance thing then we all met up at KFC (I know I know, make your black people love chicken jokes. If I choose the restaurant, however, it would have been churches, KFC is more overrated than Megan Fox). Well, we all hung out at the restaurant for way too long cracking jokes and shit like we were in high school at McDonalds after school. Well, my ex-girlfriend walked in with some scrub ass nigga (I’m not saying this because I'm jealous, I’m saying it because he still has a fucking s-curl in 2008). I had my back to the door so I didn’t see her walk in, but Davion did, but didn’t recognize her at first. I’m pretty sure his exact words were “damn, who’s that fine bitch over there, she looks like Ebony.” So, naturally, I turn around to see this girl, and it’s, of course, Ebony. I turn back around without making any eye contact with her because she’s crazy (you were right on point Celia, don’t let your brother date any half black half Mexican girls, they’re wild) and I didn’t want to talk to her. Fernando’s bum ass had never seen her before and was like “how could you let her go,” and Davion was, I’m about to prove that I am, in fact, a nigga by referencing this movie, but hey, it’s fucking hilarious, like DL Hugley’s character in “The Brothers.” You remember, after Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union broke up and then she showed up to the club with some other nigga and DL was like, “that’s not even her type.” Well, that’s exactly what Davion was doing, but way funnier. So I got one dude to the left of me telling me that I’m stupid for letting her go just because she was pretty (well, maybe he should go and get a pretty girlfriend and stop worrying about my ex, ouch) and another basically talking trash about her for being with a scrub and I was just sitting there thinking, “man, your main niggas care way more about your ex girlfriend than you do.” And it’s true. We all hate (or admire?) our friends ex-girlfriends more than they do. It’s in interesting dynamic within the male community, and I feel like it’s completely different for women. Women and their friends all hate whoever’s ex it is equally, and that shit is weird. I just thought I’d share the story since I had nothing else to talk about.

Phillip on having roommates…

For about the last two years I had been living by myself (single dorm for the 2006-2007 school year and a studio from that summer until this past July). It’s been a month since we’ve moved in and I have to say that it’s been better than I expected. Sure, they could be a little cleaner (bastards need to learn how to wash out my fucking pots and pans after they cook shit, hungry ass niggas), but outside of that, they’ve been cool. One of the guys, Dhevin, I’ve known him since his day of birth. He’s my mom’s best friend’s son, so he’s always been around. The other guy, Darryl, is his best friend and I’ve known the nigga four about for years. Davion and I basically looked after these little niggas while we were in high school and taught them to be just like us, and it’s scary how they’re the younger versions of us. It’s been good having them around so far because they’re fucking hilarious, chips off of the proverbial blocks. I’m cool as long as they keep their asses in school and out of trouble (and out of my damn bed, I’ll murder them if they bring one of their little skeezits in my room!). Nice.

Phillip on Halloween…

I’ve decided that I’m going to dress up as Prince this year. At first, I was joking around (if you’ve heard me say this before) but since Halloween is no where near NBA’s opening day this year and Davion found a basketball court that can’t be any higher than 8-feet high, I think it’s imperative that we take the video camera out on Halloween and get a game going on that court. Best believe that I’m going to be dunking on everyone who goes out. Game. Blouses.

Phillip on music…

I had a conversation with a friend the other day that had me coming to the conclusion that every artist that I can’t stand had a terrible debut album. With that being said, I’ve come up with a list of my top 20 favorite debut albums of all time (not the best, just my favorite – so I don’t want anyone ripping me a new one if the list looks weird, I’m looking at you Turner lol).

20. Get Lifted- John Legend (this is only on here because it has production from Kanye, and I’m not at home with all of my music to pull up better debut albums)

19. I- Led Zeppelin (easily my favorite classic rock album of all time)

18. The Carnival- Wyclef Jean (I remember my mom got this album for me when I was like 10 or 11 years old. Amazing album)

17. Jada Kiss- Kiss the game goodbye (that line, “I got you scared I can tell/ I get bucks like Milwaukee cuz like Sam I can sell” made me a Jada fan from that point on)

16. St. Elsewhere- Gnarles Barkley (only the second weirdest album I own, but it’s production is amazing. Danger Mouse is a beast)

15. Obie Trice- Cheers (probably one of the most slept on albums of all time. Obie Trice is a great MC)

14. Styles P- A gangster and a gentleman (this album has like four or five crazy stories on it and he and Jada connect on a few songs, they switch off better than anyone on a verse since Run DMC)

13. Reasonable Doubt- Jay-Z (Some classic songs on this album like 22 two’s and Feelin It. I probably would have been a Jay-Z fan before the Black Album came out if I had heard this before I heard the Blueprint)

12. Baduizm- Erykah Badu (Neo-Soul at its best. Songs like Apple Tree and Four leaf clover stay in my playlists.)

11. Back for the first time- Ludacris (Anyone who slept on this album was a damn foul. Punch lines galore.)

10. Black on Both Sides- Mos Def (New World Water still may be my favorite Most Def song and I LOVED rock and roll)

9. Back to Black- Amy Winehouse (For all of you who think she’s just some crack whore: Listen to this fucking album. Every track on here is amazing – and every track on her real debut album, “Frank,” is amazing too. Find me one other artist who put out two albums with no bad songs, just one.

8. RUN D.M.C.- Run DMC (Run DMC will forever remain my favorite rap duo. They changed the world with this album. Anyone who doesn’t feel Rock Box or Sucker M.C.s needs to kill themselves.)

7. Lord Willin'- Clipse (I don’t care if the whole album is about selling coke, this shit was amazing from beginning to end. I must have played this shit non stop for three months when it dropped.)

6. Juslisen- Musiq Soulchild (This nigga came on the scene and lifted the R&B game up with this album. This is the epitome of contemporary Neo-Soul for generation-xers.

5. 36 Chambers- Wu Tang (What do I need to say about this album. Wu Tang changed hip hop with this album. How many times have you heard someone say C.R.E.A.M. in another nigga’s verse? How many times have you been pumped when you heard that hideous ODB howl? M-E-T-H-O-D Man? C’mon, you know this shit was amazing.)

4. Illmatic- Nas (Well, there’ll be no more surprises from here on out if you know me. I can’t emphasize enough how ill the song Halftime is. It may be my favorite song of all time. I mean, he said it himself “with no famous guest appearances, the outcome, I’m crowned the best lyricist.” Illmatic is one of those albums that will live on forever.

3. Food and Liquor- Lupe Fiasco (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played this album, and I’ve been amazed by what this nigga says every time I listen to it. He has a ridiculous balance of punch lines/storytelling that seems unmatched. I don’t know if there is a better MC out (right now) who is matching his skills lyrically [and I’m willing to go line for line with anyone who doesn’t agree])

2. The College Dropout- Kanye West (we all know how I feel about Kanye West, but this album is head and heels about both of his others. He put so much of himself into this album and it had something everyone could relate to. And I don’t even need to get into the production of this album. This is about as perfect as a mainstream debut album can get.

1. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill- Lauryn Hill (If I were creating a list of top 10 hip hop albums, this would crack the top 5. I created a list of the top 10 R&B albums, this would crack the top 5. if I created a list of the top 10 albums of all time, this would crack the top 5. Hill not only rapped and sang pretty much every thing on this album, but she also wrote all of the music, arranged it and produced it. She is the most talented woman of my lifetime. Bar none.

Phillip on work…

I burnt the fuck out of my thumb on the ID machine today. Ouch. And I’ve just realized that kids born in the 90s are starting to get to college this year. Yikes! I must be getting old. Time to hurry up and graduate. But uh… time to get out of here.

Stay Hideous
-PB

Most Interesting team in 2008-2009

2008-08-26T12:25:00.000-07:00

[This article was originally published at Talkhoops.net]

In the wake of Team USA’s Gold Medal run in the 2008 Olympic Games, those of us whose lives are fueled by basketball are already looking forward to the upcoming basketball season. Around this time last season Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were the most dominating and interesting story of the offseason for a myriad reasons that included, but were not limited to A) Bryant throwing both his teammates and management under the conjectural Buss (yes, Jerry too), B) Dr. Buss saying Bryant could be traded and Bryant’s wanting to get the hell out of Los Angeles and C) Lamar Odom’s tattoo on his scalp. The Lakers being the most interesting team heading toward training camps has been the case for the last three or four seasons, however, with Andrew Bynum coming back with Pau Gasol in the front court, the Lakers look to be an actual basketball team going into a season for the first time since the 2003-2004 season, which is why the Lakers aren’t the most interesting team next season. And with that being said, this may be the most awkward thing I’ve ever considered writing in my lifetime (for reasons to be explained later).

Unlike the two other major American sports, football and baseball, fans of basketball have been captivated by individual players instead of team concepts for as long as I can remember. There are a plethora of athletes who are larger than their teams and there was even one, Michael Jordan, who was bigger than the sport itself. We as basketball fans love being able to watch a single player dictate how a game is going to happen just by his own abilities, which is why guys like Allen Iverson, Tracy McGrady and Paul Pierce (God forbid) will always have fans. This is why, when we talk about the Celtics in the 1980s, we immediately garnish beautiful words about Larry Legend instead of everything every player on that team represented, and this is completely different from baseball and football. When we think about the Steelers of the 1970s we remember that Steel Curtain defense and how they owned the AFC, we really don’t think about any individual players, and I’m sure if I asked either of my two roommates (who are both three years younger than I and are both huge football fans), they would be able to give me Larry Bird’s name in a conversation about the Golden Era of basketball before they came up with Lynn Swann, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Green or Jack Ham’s names when talking about that dynasty of the 70s. The same goes with baseball. We’ll remember Hakeem Olajuwon as a representative of the Rockets of the 90s, but we won’t remember guys like David Cone and Derek Jeter as much as we remember the Yankees of the late 90s as a whole unit.

This idea of the individual vs. the team, as far as basketball vs. football and baseball go, is a very interesting concept and isn’t only applied to eras, but to individual years too. Terms like the ’72 Dolphins or the ’85 Bears resonate with football fans as much as Jordan in 1987 or Charles Barkley in 1993 does with basketball fans – which leads me to the reason why this season the Lakers will not be the most interesting team going into the 2008-2009 season. With the acquisition of Gasol, the emergence of Bynum’s talent and the depth of their bench, Bryant no longer has to go for 45 points every night for his team to win games. The seasons of Bryant averaging 30 points per game are over even though he still remains the single greatest game closer and offensive force that this league has witnessed since 1998 (as we all watched in the fourth quarter in the U.S. vs. Spain gold medal game). Non-Lakers fans will no longer have to monitor the progress of Lakers games just to make sure they aren’t missing another Bryant scoring binge. The probability of Bryant going off for 50 points has decreased because the level of play from his teammates has increased. You can look at Bryant’s production, or the production of any great scorer, like you would look at a supply and demand graph with supply being surrounding talent and demand being points. As supply increases, the demand will ultimately decrease, which is why Bryant only had three games where he scored 50 or more points before the 04-05 season and only one 50+ game with Gasol on the roster. Every other 50 point game Bryant has had (and there have been twenty others) have come between the dates of December 20th, 2005 and April 15th, 2007, times when the talent surrounding him was unquestionably low...

[You can find out which team I think will be the most interesting to watch by clicking this link to Talkhoops.net]

Stay Hideous
-PB

R.I.P. Kevin Duckworth

2008-08-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

LINCOLN CITY, Ore. -- Former Portland Trail Blazers center Kevin Duckworth died while on a trip to the Oregon Coast to host a free basketball clinic. He was 44.

The Lincoln County sheriff's office confirmed the death. He died Monday.

The 7-foot Duckworth averaged 11.8 points and 5.8 rebounds over 11 seasons in the NBA, helping Portland reach the NBA Finals in 1990 and 1992. The two-time All-Star also played for San Antonio, Washington, Milwaukee and the Los Angeles Clippers.

"Kevin will be remembered by fans as one of the most popular and recognizable players to ever wear the Blazers uniform, but to people who knew him, he'll be remembered as one of the warmest and biggest-hearted," Trail Blazers president Larry Miller said.

The Blazers said he was representing the team on a 19-city tour of Oregon.

Duckworth grew up in the Chicago area and was drafted by the San Antonio Spurs out of Eastern Illinois University in 1986.

The Spurs traded him that season to the Trail Blazers, where he had his greatest success, playing with Clyde Drexler, Terry Porter, Buck Williams and Jerome Kersey on two Western Conference championship teams. Duckworth was named the NBA's Most Improved Player in his second year in the league.

Duckworth remained in the Portland area after he retired in 1997, doing woodwork, fishing and hunting. He ran a construction company in Northern California for a time, and a restaurant venture in Vancouver, Wash., with former NBA player Kermit Washington went out of business.

The cause of death was to be determined by a medical examiner.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

Star Spangaled Dominance

2008-08-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

[This article was originally published at Talkhoops.net]

On the eve of the USA vs. Argentina Olympic semi-final rematch, we as basketball fans really have to look at what these Olympics can potentially mean for the basketball community at large. Unlike 1992, when the U.S. National Team completely obliterated any other team that dared to step in between the 92x50 parameters of execution and dominance, the 2008 Olympics have had a different tone as far as basketball is concerned. Instead of the Dream Team we have the less impressive Redeem Team, a collection of guys who have set out to bring the prominence there once was back to the states and to take their dignity back from the world. In the wake of these semifinal match-ups, considering the way that the U.S. team has played despite their obvious weaknesses, we have to ponder two rudimentary questions: Why is this U.S. team playing so well this year as opposed to recent world competitions dating back to the 2004 Olympic Games? And, is the international gap as close as we think it is?

The U.S. Men’s Basketball Team has been the most discussed and researched topic of these Olympics with Michael Phelp’s mom taking a close second, and it seems like everyone has taken notice of some of the members of the team off of the court. We’ve consistently seen Kobe Bryant and LeBron James in the stands at other sporting events cheering on other U.S. Olympic athletes like drunken college students, and I think this is one of the reasons why the U.S. team is playing so well.

No, it isn’t because they’re drawing inspiration from Phelps or Misty May and Kerri Walsh, it’s because they’re enjoying each other. The guys from this team really like each other, their personalities mesh and they’re going out to other sporting events and the Olympic Village together. Further more, what has stood out the most, well, at least to me, is the fact that this is almost a collegiate experience for the team, which works wonders for guys like Bryant and James – and also Dwight Howard – guys who didn’t go to college.

We’ve seen Bryant and James in the stands wearing red, white and blue polo’s while cheering like they’re representing their school’s swimmers and volleyball team. They’re out there pumping their fists, they’re yelling and giving high fives to random fans just like they’re the same as everyone else, just much larger. Guys like Chris Bosh and Carmelo Anthony only experienced one year of college life (which they probably didn’t get to fully enjoy going through all of the pre-draft events during their second semester or third quarter) and seem to be enjoying themselves in the same ways. This experience has been completely different from anything most of these guys have experienced, and the fact that they’re experiencing this together is going a long way as far as their chemistry on the court goes. What makes this year so different is that we never saw guys out together watching other events in previous years, not since 1996, the last really good U.S. Olympic team before this one.

Having two of college basketball’s best coaches in Mike Krzyzewski and Jim Boeheim has also been a different and rewarding experience for the team. Coach K and Boeheim are two completely different personalities, but they’re similar in the sense that they’re basketball ideologies and the way they handle players off of the court are completely different from anything you’ll find in the NBA. These NBA players, as much as you’d like to think otherwise, love learning about basketball, and both Coach K and Boeheim can offer different insights about basketball and just life in general that guys aren’t getting from their NBA coaches. The complexity in differentiating between the learning taking place in this year’s Olympics compared to 2004, when Larry Brown coached the team, is actually not complex at all. Coach K requires a certain brand of respect from his players than what Brown offered (that and the fact that Brown coached a bunch of guys who really weren’t students of the game).

If you were to ask me why this team seems to play so much better than recent teams of the past, I’d say it’s the collegiate feel of these games for the team. The camaraderie is not only between the players on the U.S. basketball team, but the camaraderie between the U.S. basketball team and the other U.S. Olympic athletes. The way they interact is akin to the way athletes on college campuses interact, and the guys on this team love it. The mere fact that they’re enjoying themselves off of the court (something that didn’t happen with the 2004 team) is doing wonders for the team on the court.

This other question, however, still remains to be answered. Everyone has their own opinion on the theoretical gap between the talent of the U.S. athletes and the athletes around the world, including myself. I realize that I’ll probably catch some hell for this...

Click this link to catch the rest of this article at Talkhoops.net

Stay Hideous
-PB

Where has the motivation gone?

2008-08-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes after I write my hands hurt from the ubiquity of repetitive taps of the keyboard. I love that pain because the pain usually signifies the end of an accomplishment. Yes, an accomplishment, no matter how good or how bad what was written, it’s an accomplishment when thoughts meet words and words meet the computer screen. At least that’s how I’ve grown to look at it these days. In a quest to become the best writer I can possibly be, I’ve had to take the bad with the good, however there has been more bad than good lately. To prevent unnecessary frustration or unnecessary stress or unnecessary anger I’ve had to train myself to become more optimistic. This optimism has turned everything I’ve written into an accomplishment, the thing is, I haven’t accomplished nearly as much as I’ve wanted to this summer – and it hasn’t even been close.

Now my hands hurt for an entirely different reason. They’re longing to transfer the energy expensed pushing down on various keys into more accomplishments, but the mind hasn’t been functioning the way the hands want it to. I’ve been lost mentally for about the last month and a half. My ideas have been as scrambled as the two eggs I ate before hitting the gym this morning and live has eaten and digested them just the same. It’s been getting harder and harder to get thoughts down on paper, even about basketball. I’m slowly coming to the realization that I’ll never be great at anything because I tire of it too quickly. I’ve been going hard at this writing thing for only three years, and I’ve progressed a lot, but there have been so many other things that I’ve started, thought I’d love doing, then grew tired of them. I mean, I could have been a good graphic designer, a good history teacher, a good music engineer (not to be confused with an actual musician). I get so deep into things so fast that I get tired of it because the growth slows down. It never stops, but my writing isn’t nearly improving at the rate it was two years ago and I’m definitely not learning something new every day.

I knew this was coming, but I prayed that it didn’t. I don’t have the propensity to continue doing things for long periods of time. I’m a natural born quitter. I get bored to easily, I’m bored with life. The thing is, I don’t know what else to do. It’s all I’ve known for the last three years, it’s kept me sane, it’s kept me humble, it’s kept me in school. But now, I’ve lost all motivation to write for a month and all of a sudden I’m tired of it. Inspiration has been harder to find than Carmen San Diego (I know, I love sports, it’s the Olympics, inspiration should be every where, right?). Honestly, as of right now, I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself. I have about a year and a half left before I graduate and get thrown out into the real world and all of a sudden, I might not even know what the fuck I want to do. I thought I loved writing about basketball, now, I’m not so sure.

I don’t know what I’ll do anymore. I love basketball, I love history, and right now, that’s about it. I’m hoping this is just some bum ass phase. I don’t know. I can’t stop writing because I have an obligation to run my school’s newspaper for at least another year, hopefully I’ll wake my ass up and realize that I’ve been doing what I need to be doing.

To be continued (maybe?)

This just ruined my day

2008-08-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

From ESPN.com

Greg Oden's finally looking ready. But the guy who will get him the ball is banged up.

The Portland Trail Blazers announced on Wednesday that guard Brandon Roy will have arthroscopic surgery on his left knee on Thursday. The operation will repair a tear in the meniscus that was revealed by MRI on Tuesday. Blazers team physician Dr. Don Roberts will perform the procedure at Southwest Washington Regional Surgery Center in Vancouver, Wash., and Roy is expected to be sidelined for between one and two months.

Oden, the top pick in last year's draft who missed all of the 2007-08 campaign after right knee surgery, worked out for the media on Tuesday.

The 7-footer from Ohio State showed no signs of problems in two-on-two work with teammates Steve Blake and Channing Frye and former Arkansas star Steven Hill, a 7-footer invited to practice with Portland. Oden isn't allowed to go five-on-five until next month.

"I'm feeling good," Oden said. "I do not have any pain or soreness in my knee."

Roy is part of a young nucleus for the up-and-coming Blazers. The 2006-07 Rookie of the Year has averaged 18.1 points, 5.0 assists and 4.6 rebounds over his two years in the league.

Roy helped the Blazers improve by 11 wins in his rookie year to a 32-50 mark, and even without Oden, Portland jumped up to 41 wins last season.

Information from The Associated Press and Reuters was used in this report.

On the Olympics...

2008-08-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

On the Olympics so far…

USA Basketball
I’ve put this off for too long. This team is done with its easy portion of pool play. They have Germany, Grease and Spain coming up in their next three games, yikes! The Germans shouldn’t be too tough to handle for the Americans. They’ll just have to keep the ball out of Dirk’s hands and keep the Caveman (Chris Kaman) off the glass.

What I’ve liked so far:
1. Dwayne Wade has been amazing for the US team off the bench. He looks to have that pre-shoulder/knee surgery quickness and explosiveness. He’s been getting to the rim at will and he’s been a lock down defender on the other end of the floor – well, at least when he’s been on the ball handler (but more on that later). Miami Heat fans and executives alike have to be liking what they’ve seen out of him so far. Baring any other wild injury (knock on wood) he should be back to old form in no time.

2. LeBron James is unstoppable on an all-star team. He has been the US Team’s best player by far in these games. When his weaknesses (ie. mid-range game, lack of post game, inconsistent shooting) cannot be exploited due to other all-stars being on the floor he can go out and do the things he’s best at (ie. getting to the rim, dunking on dudes, running fast breaks by himself) he’s pretty hard to tame. He’s been great playing help side (as you saw on three amazing blocks against China and that one mid-way through the second against Angola [yikes!]) and he’s been really jumping in passing lanes.

3. Chris Bosh has been great providing what Dwight Howard hasn’t been able to give the US team in the paint. If I’m starting an NBA franchise and I had a choice to build around Dwight Howard or Chris Bosh, I’m taking Howard every time, but this isn’t the case in international play. Chris Bosh is better for this style of play. He can bring out defenders and hit the mid range jumpers and has the quickness to get around defenders and get to the rim. He’s going to be a big part of their success (if any) against teams like Grease, Spain and Argentina.

4. The coaching staff’s full court press has been very affective, especially when teams have brought in their second or third point guards. The US team is obviously the quickest and most athletic team playing in these Olympic games and it makes for some crowd pleasing passes and dunks (that Jason Kidd to LeBron alley-oop early in the game against China made me yell Oh My God and I was quite pleased when Kobe smashed on Sun Yue, and I can’t wait to see what Yue can do in the NBA, he is a potential beast).

What I haven’t liked:
1. Seeing Coach K prowl the sidelines. I can’t stand this man. He’s the reason I’m rooting for Spain to win it all. I do not want to see Coach K succeed. My hatred for Duke runs so deep that I’d rather see Coach K fail in the Olympics instead of seeing the US Team pick up a gold medal. Oh, and Carlos Boozer has been terrible. No wonder he hasn’t been getting any playing time. Tyson Chandler should have been selected to this team, I mean, look at the chemistry he already had with Chris Paul (the lead the league in alley-oops!). I have more allegiance to North Carolina than I have with the US, so I’ll root for Spain.

2. Trapping in the half court sets. This is going to ruin the US Team’s hopes for a gold medal if they try to pull this stunt against some of the better teams (even Germany tomorrow morning). American basketball players are already lazy when it comes to closing out three-point shooters so leaving a shooter to double team another player is more than just pointless, it’s stupid. Not only do international players shoot better on average than American players, but the three point line is a few feet closer to the basket so the shots are going to fall at a higher rate anyway. There shouldn’t be a player in the Olympics that an American shouldn’t be able to handle one-on-one and if there is, let him beat you instead of letting his role players light you up from behind the three-point arch. Spain’s guards are going to destroy the Americans if they don’t figure this out (I’m looking at you Coach K, you too D’Antoni).

3. Carmelo Anthony is lazy and should not be playing power forward. He set a goal of 10 rebounds per game, he’s had 10 rebounds in the first two games combined. Bring him off the bench for some added bench scoring and start Chris Bosh. You don’t need anymore speed in the starting line-up with Jason Kidd running the point with this Kobe/LeBron wings. Actually, Deron Williams should be starting too, Jason Kidd has been playing like shit. He’s the second best three-point shooter on this team and can abuse any guard in the Olympics. Change the starting line-up to Williams, Kobe, LeBron, Bosh and Howard. That can’t be stopped, especially when you have Kidd, Melo and Wade coming off the bench.

4. Kobe’s shooting has been terrible. There isn’t much more to say about that.

5. Free throw shooting has been abysmal. Can’t really say anything about that either.

6. I don’t like their jerseys. So far, from everyone I’ve talked to, I’m the only one who feels this way.

Swimming:
Before I begin, let me just say Michael Phelps is a beast. Now that’s out of the way I can get into swimming’s biggest story so far, the 400-meter freestyle relay. Earlier this summer I posted this blog on the best sporting events of the year up until that point, well, the 400-meter freestyle relay has definitely fallen under that ‘will not soon be forgotten’ category. There were so many interesting sub-plots going into this race that put this race on my ‘must-see’ list for these Olympic games. Were talking about Michael Phelps going for 8 gold medals in these games alone and more gold medals than anyone else in Olympic history in one of the two events that Phelps did not receive a gold medal in during the 2004 Olympics in Athens. We’re talking about a dominate French team who were heavy favorites to win the event and an overly cocky Frenchman, Alain Bernard, talking about how his relay team was going to “smash” the American team. We’re talking about Phelps needing all three of his teammates to come through, not only to win the gold, but to also have a chance at breaking the world record, a feat he had already accomplished in his previous two events – and then there was the race.

Phelps led things off, but his lead was less than commanding. Things moved form Garrett Weber Gale to Cullen Jones, then Jason Lezak dove into the pool, trailing Bernard, Frances best swimmer and anchor. Bernard was on world record pace and looked as if he wouldn’t be caught. Then, after the turn going into the final 50 meters announcers moved from “Lezak is going to have to pick things up if he wants to pull this off for the Americans,” to “Lezak is closing the gap, he can pull this off.” Then, in those final 25 meters the announcers moved from “Bernard is tightening up! I can’t believe this is happening,” to “I CAN’T BELIEVE LEZAK PULLED IT OFF! THAT WAS THE FASTEST SPLIT 100 METER SPLIT IN OLYMPIC HISTORY!” Phelps screamed like a madman, Weber-Gale was screaming explectives at the top of his lungs and Jones just jumped up and down with that God damned smile on his face. It was moving, it was exciting, it was inspiring – it was what the Olympics are all about. You don’t see determination like what Lezak showed during every stoke of those last 50 meters. His finish – just .08 seconds before Bernards – is going to be one of those clips that we’ll see for years to come. It’s going to be something we were all glad we watched (well, those of us who actually watched it live) because it was the epitome of the spirit of sport. That race is why we watch sports, at least it’s why I watch sports. It was simply amazing to watch.

Gymnastics:
Let’s just be glad that Alicia Sacramone doesn’t live in China or Israel, where I think they kill any Olympic competitors who fail miserably. Maybe being murdered was a stretch, but we do live in a country where we give sympathy to failures. We all love the story of the Titanic, Bill Gates was a college dropout and our national pastime, baseball, is a game of failure. Now we have Sacramone, who, after China left the gate to an Olympic gold wide open, fell on the balance beam before her routine even started then, to add insult to injury, fell again during her floor exercise leaving her looking dumber than John Edwards during his interview where he admitted having an affair with that crazy lady. The thing is, since she’s only like 12 years old and fell apart on the biggest stage possible, people won’t go that hard on her.

What I thought was interesting about that collapse was the fact that the US Women’s gymnastic team finished better than the Men’s team, who are all going home with bronze medals, yet, it felt like the Men’s team finished with a gold medal and the Women’s team didn’t even get to the podium. Lack of clutch will do that to you. I watched the men’s team celebrate like they were on top of the gymnastic world when they pulled off that bronze then I watched the women’s team look like they just heard about Bernie Mac’s death when they realized that silver was inevitable.

Other Notes…
Track and field starts on Friday, I’m patiently waiting for that… the men’s volleyball team is wack… RIP to both Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, both were legends in their respective fields. Those were two huge losses and they will be missed dearly…

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 57,010
32 days and 42,990 words to go)

Letting it out

2008-08-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today’s blog is just going to cover a few topics.

Simply Wild
I’m going to have to put the conclusion of that on hold for a couple days because I have a lot going on right now. I promise it will be finished for those of you who care.

Annoyances
I've been annoyed beyond belief with a few things lately and I’m going to run down a few of them for you.

I’m sick and tired of dudes who bring their girlfriends to the gym and cupcake with them the whole damn time. I went to the gym this morning before I came into work today and this little (literally) Mexican couple came into the gym and were kissing and flirting and shit all in the middle of the place. When I’m working out that’s the last thing I want to see. Then the bastards moved over to the couch and were just making out in front of the damn big screen TV. Now I can’t go over there and watch ESPN (still no cable at the new apartment yet grrrrrr!) because these two refuse to get a damn room. Look, I don’t care if you bring your girlfriend to the gym to work out, but work the fuck out. None of us wake up early to see your ass kiss on your ugly ass girlfriend.

I’m sick and tired of people calling me after 1am. There are a very, very select few number of people who can call me late at night and I’ll have no problem with it, but I can count those people on the fingers of my left hand. There is one guy on the list, so if you’re a guy and you’re calling me after 1am I’m punching you in the fucking neck the next time I see you. Also, of the four girls, only two of them are not related to me. Meaning, if you’re not my mom or my sister, chances are I don’t want your bum ass calling me after 1am. I can’t punch you in the neck because only bitch ass men hit women, but I’ll have my sister punch you in the neck and I’ll tape that shit and put it on youtube. I like sleeping, don’t wake me up if it isn’t important. Bastards.

I’m sick and tired of people who shove religion down others throats. Don’t come to me with your Jesus madness. I know where I am in life and I know where I want to be, I don’t need you telling me that I can’t get there if I don’t live like a damn Christian, especially when you’re probably not living like one either. I’m not against Christianity, but I’m not necessarily for it either. I have my reasons for not going to church anymore (football?) just like you have your reasons to continue to go (socialize?). One day I’m going to get mad and kick some knowledge to one of these mofo’s. I know the Bible (kind of), but I’ve studied other religions (most interesting shit ever) and I just don’t think Christianity is the “only way” for salvation – and I like sinning way too much.

I’m sick and tired of people who take my kindness for weakness. One day, when you’re asking me to do something for you, you’re going to get mad when I say no and you’re going to think I’m evil (which a lot of people seem to think for some reason). I don’t have a problem helping people, in fact, if I even remotely like you, I enjoy helping out. However, some people think I’m some kind of scrub or something, which I’m clearly not (or I am and just don’t know it), but if I don’t feel like doing something, lets not get upset at Phillip, he does things for his self sometimes too (oh, how selfish). Damn straight. Oh, and just tell the truth bastards. No need to lie to me, I handle truth like Chris Paul handles the rock.

I'm sick and tired of this Brett Favre story. Okay, he wanted to come back. Cool. We got it. So the Packers were dumb enough to go with Aaron Rogers over Favre. I get it. So Favre wanted to be traded. It happens. Oh shit, he's traded to the Jets. I didn't see that one coming. <------ That should be the story. It's been played to death. Pakers fans have to be tired of it, Aaron Rogers has to be tired of it (man he's going to get booed at their first home game) and most of all, I'm sick and tired of it. I don't give a damn anymore. What I do care is that Manny Fucking Ramarez is playing for the fucking Dodgers. God I hate that damn franchise, and the fact that they now have the best team in the division makes me want to vomit every hour on the hour. Too bad they still won't win a fucking playoff series. The NL is actually really good this season. I'll enjoy that beating more than the myriad text messages ESPN has sent me telling me that the Giants lost -- does anyone feel like that series against the Braves lasted two weeks. What is up with that? Next year, though, the Giants are winning the NL West. You heard it here first. They've shown signs of potentially being a pretty good baseball team. Just watch. Are you watching, good.

Strictly Business
A lot of things are opening up for me as far as this writing career goes. As you all know, I write for talkhoops.net, a basketball opinion website. I’ve improved a lot since my first article, which was a little over a year ago, and hope to continue to improve as long as I write. I also write for my school’s newspaper, where I will be the Editor in Chief for the upcoming school year. I have to say that my nerves have settled a bit. I was thinking about it the other day and I’m really not going to have to do much more than what I was already doing as the sports editor of the paper, I’ll just have to speak in front of all of these other students (God I hate public speaking). Outside of that, it shouldn’t be two difficult. Sure, I’ll have a depleted editorial staff, but there really wasn’t much of an editorial staff when I wasn’t running the show, it’ll work out (hopefully). Last, but not least, I’ve been recommended for the editors position for the Wasco newspaper. It’s a small weekly newspaper (much like Cal State’s), but I’ll be paid for it and I’ll be taking on a whole lot more responsibility. I will apply for the job, and if the interview goes well (yikes!) I’ll probably end up getting the job. I was kind of up all night last night thinking about how I’m going to manage editing two newspapers, school and another job (yeah I’m keeping this one, let the saving up for a Macbook commence!). I’ve decided that I’ll probably end up dropping one of my classes and just taking 12 units instead of 17, which is still full time. I’ll probably end up dropping that history class (which is still up for debate because I need to jump on this minor ASAP and I’m not sure when they’ll offer another class on Ancient Grease, a topic that has always intrigued the hell out of me). I’ll probably have no social life from September through November (especially with football starting in September and basketball in late October, you’ll never see me), and very little in December, then none again from January through June, but I guess it’s something I’ll have to give up if this is really what I want to do. Sports journalists can be gone from home for weeks at a time covering a beat, I’ll just be gone from everyone for a while just to put together a good resume and some good clips so when I finally get out of this hell hole (seriously, a cool day in Bakersfield is 94 degrees? Fuck that, I need out) I’ll be able to get a semi-decent job somewhere in either the Los Angeles or San Francisco area to start out. This will probably mean that it will take another quarter or two for me to graduate, but whatever, fuck it. It was probably going to take me another quarter more than the four years to graduate anyway, at least now I’ll have an excuse to tell the family on why it’s taking an extra year hahahaha! I’ll keep you all updated. I only told two people about it yesterday, but since one threatened to beat me up if I didn’t apply (seriously) I decided that I’d share this with you all today since I will.

Football
It’s about to start back up and I couldn’t be more excited. The Raiders are going 12-4! And that’s how I’ll end this blog.

(Word count to date: 55,288
38 days and 44,712 words to go)

Simply Wild [Pt.2]

2008-08-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

[Cont. from Simply Wild Pt. 1]

“What the hell is Kevin doing?” I thought to myself wondering what was about to happen next. I had nothing on me, I never do. I’m not hard and I don’t pretend to be. I’ve never carried a weapon on me and I was 39048729357 percent sure that I didn’t have one on me now, but I was just as sure, because of these sudden turn of events, that the officer was going to find something on me. I could only imagine what at the moment. “Man, this guy could find a ball point pen on me right now,” I thought. “And have reason to throw me in the back of his squadron car.” I was – how do they say it – federally fucked, and the worst part about it was that I still had no idea why the hell the officer pulled us over.

I moved my thoughts to the side, as if they were blocking the vision of my friend, so I could once again focus on Kevin’s actions. I watched as he drizzled the weed onto the Philly, roll it, then seal it with his saliva. It was surreal, and just got weirder when he put that one down and started another. He ended up rolling four of those mother fuckers – all while I was being searched by a cop who was determined to find something on me. After he rolled the four blunts, he put three of them in the bag with the rest of the weed then proceeded to pull out a lighter and smoke the mother fucker. I was being searched a cop, for what seemed like an eternity, while Kevin sat there in the drivers seat, Fishscale still pumping through the speakers, smoking weed – and none of this seemed weird to either of them. Then I heard the words that I had been fearing the whole time I was outside of the car.

“Ah ha ha, what do we have here?” the officer exclaimed, sounding more like a cop who had planted something on an unsuspecting civilian than being excited to have finally found something on me. I turned my neck around to see what the officer had been holding, my heart beating harder than the thumps Ike gave Tina. Give my body a minute of this punishment from my heart and I would be sure to have bruised ribs the next day. I got a quick glance of what he was holding before he made me face forward just to see Kevin calmly puffing away at that first blunt. It looked like a small metallic object, it could have been anything. “Let me guess, son,” the officer continued. “you’re the one who cut up that poor woman on Thursday, right?”

He reached around and showed me what he was holding, a damn unused box cutter blade. My little cousin worked for Big 5 and was always bringing those home on days they’d get their shipments in. I told him that it was exactly what he thought it was and he broke me off with a story that would make some of the least faithful husbands of this country blush.

“I thought so, maggot. We’re investigating an attempted murder case where the victim was cut numerous times with a blade very much like this one,” he said, not one word of it coming off as truth. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”

“Wait,” I said, stupidly speaking to this officer. “You have to be kidding me, you don’t really think I killed someone do you?” Instead of answering, he just hit me over the head with his forearm and moved me over to his car. I don’t think Kevin noticed any of this because he was on the phone, probably with Allison or Melissa, saying something along the lines of “I’ll be over there with time, baby,” as he puffed on that damn blunt.

As he closed the door I got my first real good look at him. He was a Mexican cat, about 6’2’’ with a thick mustache, ones usually reserved for that show Reno 911. He had a rather long face and his cheeks were a little chubby, he reminded me of a squash and his skin fade bothered me. He had that weird shaped mouth that a lot of fat people seem to have, think comedians Lavel Crawford and Monique, and his eyebrows were unusually thick for a Mexican. His name tag read Sgt. Sanchez but his face read prick with those fucking aviator sunglasses on with the sun dropping as fast Allison’s pants are sure to drop later on tonight, fucking Kevin. Sergeant Sanchez snarled at me before walking around to the other side of the car, getting in and speeding off to who knows where.

As we raced down the boulevard, Sanchez turned off his service radio and turned on the cities Old School station. I couldn’t make out what song was fading out immediately after he turned to the station, but just as fast as that one ended, Roger and Zapp’s I want to be your man came on. Just then I realized that I could potentially be spending a night in jail and decided on the spot that I hated that song. Sometimes irony is hilarious, and I guess this would be mirthful to me too if I wasn’t the one on the way to jail, but for me, that night, irony was a bitch – a bitch that I wanted to fight. I wanted to ask Sanchez to turn that shit off, but for some reason I didn’t want to test my already shaky karma. That night something came back to bite me in the ass, and it was only going to get worse.

We pulled up to the police station sometime between 9:15 and 9:30, the son had completely dropped, yet, this mother fucker’s sunglasses remained perched on his damn nose. He opened my door and pulled me out of the damn car and walked me into the office. It looked nothing like any of the police stations I had seen on TV shows like Law and Order or the movie Blue Streak. He walked me over to a bench between two desks. In front of me was a leggy woman wearing a light gray business casual suit/skirt thing. Her hair was cut short, usually not my style, but there was a certain sex appeal about beige skin tone and stern face that I liked. She wore very little make up and was still gorgeous, that’s almost rare these days. She looked up from her paper work and eyed me cold, I hadn’t shaven in a few days and I only had on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, she probably thought I was just some regular dirty nigga who got caught raising hell. For some reason, I didn’t want this woman to think that about me. It’s funny how much you care about what people think about you when the other person is attractive. I wouldn’t have given a flying fuck if she was the ugly broad sitting immediately behind me. She had very broad shoulders and a thick neck. Her hair was longish and had been pulled back in a sloppy pony tail, she reminded me of an Indian chief for some reason, and I think it was the mole on the left side of her face. I could tell she was comfortable with her appearance in the workplace and loved being a cop. I didn’t like her much.

As I sat there uncomfortably in-between the two ladies I watched as Sanchez, who appeared much larger in the lighted room walk over to the Chief of Police. The chief was an older white man who had the kind of uncompromising face that most would be forced to respect just by the sight of him, I did. You could tell he’d been there long because his hair had been sprinkled with a little more salt than pepper over the last few years and his face resembled the shirt I was wearing at the time, wrinkled. He looked bothered as Sanchez made his way over to his desk, he had a look on his face that read: what the fuck do you want now, Sanchez. I could see it from here and bean to realize why when Sanchez began to speak.

[To be continued. I got consumed researching for an article I’ll be writing for Talkhoops.net on why the Knicks didn’t work last year. I’m going to be using a Communication Theory to explain my thesis much like I did in my article on Michael Jordan’s greatness, so look out for that soon, I’m kind of excited about writing it. Hopefully this story/dream will be finished tomorrow, I didn’t expect it to be this long.]

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 51,770
40 days and 48,230 words to go)

Paul Pierce is an idiot

2008-08-05T11:06:00.000-07:00

Wait… When did Paul Pierce become the best basketball player in the world?

Q: Is Kobe really the best player in the world?
A: I don't think Kobe is the best player. I'm the best player. There's a line that separates having confidence and being conceited. I don't cross that line but I have a lot of confidence in myself."

Yes, that question was really asked and yes, that was a serious answer. No, Michael Jordan didn’t say it, neither did Magic or Larry Bird. Nah, it wasn’t Lebron James either. So who said it? Paul Pierce. No, I didn’t misspell Stephon Marbury or Darius Miles, Paul Pierce really said that he is the best player in the world.

Maybe he was talking about Scrabble or Checkers, he couldn’t have been talking about basketball could he? No, he wasn’t talking about any board games, he wasn’t talking about Disney Scene-It or Dominoes either, Paul Pierce was talking about basketball. Not NBA Live (or NBA 2K8 for you bums who hate on EA Sports), he was talking about real live basketball. According to a Madrid, Spain news source, RedArmy, Paul Pierce thinks when he laces up his sneakers, he’s always the best on the floor. This is not a joke, in fact, it’s far from it because the statement was so ridiculous I couldn’t even laugh.

I know if you’ve read anything I’ve written for this website you probably know that I’m a Lakers fan and you probably will have a few questions about the objectivity of me writing this article like: do you think Kobe is the best in the league right now? Are you a Paul Pierce fan? Can you write this objectively if the answers to those questions are yes and no respectively? Well, the answers to your questions are, definitely, I hate Kansas and the Celtics and probably not. However, I have one question for you, does it matter if I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, because that’s exactly what I plan on doing...

[Be sure to check out the rest of this article at Talkhoops.net. Just click this link.]

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 50,261
40 days and 49,739 words to go)

P.s. Part 2 of Simply Wild should be up later on today.

Simply Wild [pt. 1]

2008-08-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

It was an early evening while Kevin and I rolled along La Tejara Boulevard in his 1999 Mitsubishi 3000GT on our way to meet up with some girls. The skies colors moved from yellow to fuchsia because of the radiant sunset that only seemed less than five hundred yards away. Kevin was dressed like it was the first day of school clad in a pair of freshly pressed khakis, a blue and white plaid button up and a classic Dodgers 59/50 with the gold sticker laid flat on the bill. He also had a pair of cubic zirconium ear rings and some Chuck Taylor’s that matched the hat that mad me want to vomit. I had on some black and red basketball shorts and a solid black t-shirt. I had no one to impress, I really wasn’t feeling these bitches, they weren’t my type. Hell, I didn’t even know why I was rolling with Kevin’s white ass in the first place, having me miss the Hawks game just so he could chill with whatever raggedy hoe he was in live with this week. I had on my black on black giants hat and my black Pro Models, our team shoe my junior year in high school.

We had just left his place before we headed out to see Melissa and Allison. Kevin spent the thirty minutes prior to our departure getting high with James and Marcus while I argued with Luis about the killing styles of thrasher and white tipped reef sharks. Luis and I didn’t smoke like the rest of the guys, but that was about the only thing we had in common. When I met him he told me that he was a Bronco’s fan, and right off the bat I didn’t like him, but we were always around each other because we shared three mutual friends. James and I have been friends since the first grade and we met Marcus and Kevin in the tenth grade in a history class. They shared the same sense of humor we had so we all started kicking it at James’ house after school. Luis started showing up one day because those four had English together. I don’t think he’s as funny as the rest of us although he’s definitely my intellectual equal in the group, but he sure as hell is the lamest mother fucker I’ve ever met – which is probably why we all keep him around – it gives us someone to rag on when things get boring.

As we walked out the door Kevin grabbed a small bag of the raunchiest stress I’ve ever smelt and stuffed in his left pocket. I have never and will never understand why these guys can’t live without weed, but then again, they can’t understand why I can’t live without sports. I mean, they all have their teams and are casual fans, but none of them get into it the way I do. I live and die with my favorite teams, it’s always been that way, always will.

As we cruised along in his 3000GT with the windows rolled down Ghostface Killah’s Fishscale blasted through his speakers. Kevin wasn’t really a hip hop head and would have had some terrible radio station on if I hadn’t brought my CD case with me. I nodded my head as I looked out the window while Kevin sang the chorus to one of the songs. “All around the world today, a Kilo is a measure,” Kevin sang with the girl’s voice. “A Kilo is a thousand grams, easy to remember,” he continued. As the verse came in a turned toward him to ask him a few questions that were burning in my head.

“What are you doing messing with these nasty girls, man?” I asked with a disgusted look on my face. “I have no idea what the hell you’re thinking.”

It took a few seconds for my question to register in his mind, then he started to laugh. Fucking marijuana. Kevin was fucked up. His eyes were crimson and he talked about picking up some fries every time we passed a fast food joint, but it wasn’t anything out of the normal. Kevin was fucked up daily. “Man, you know why I’m tryna fuck with them,” he started before becoming consumed in his immature giggling. “And you need to try to get some of this tonight. I don’t know why you’re trippin’ because you know Melissa will let you beat.”

I just shook my head in disgrace and went back to watching all the activity outside of my window and thinking about the essay I was supposed to be writing for Dr. Bramer’s Religious Studies on sacred scriptures of the West. I had originally thought about exploring the idea of how both the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament were evil books that have been used to oppress just as many people as people who have found salvation with those words, but I thought it might be a little heavy for my first essay in the class, so now I'm stuck here debating topics next to this high mother fucker more than ready to stuff his face with deep fried, over salted potatoes before potentially picking up some gross STD. I never understood how my friends could just lay down with anyone, I’m scared to death of Chlamydia, but maybe it’s just me. I’ve never laid down with some hoe I wasn’t sure was clean, fuck that. But Kevin was determined, and that’s where he was, traveling down the boulevard determined and hungry.

As Fishscale got deeper in the album Kevin knew less of it because he only listens to it when we’re in the same car and we hardly drive long enough to listen to the whole thing. He turned to me and asked me if I would let Mike Tyson fuck me for $1,000,000. This cat is weird when high, but all of the guys have outlandish conversations like this when together. It’s a guy thing, girls never understand why we would ever talk about this, but we think it’s hilarious. We always talk Luis into saying he’d do it for the smallest amount of cash because he’s poor as fuck and it’s hilarious making fun of him for that shit. As we debated how we’d feel both physically and mentally after being pounded by Iron Mike, we saw flashing red and blue lights and Kevin was forced to pull over, I’d never seen him more paranoid.

Kevin turned onto a side street with less traffic before pulling over, I’m assuming to make it easier for him to pull out after receiving his ticket for whatever the fuck he had done. As we sat there waiting for the officer I told Kevin to hide his weed somewhere or it would be a long night for the two of us. He didn’t listen, or didn’t think he had enough time to stash it somewhere before the officer got there, but he didn’t do shit except adjust his royal blue fitted. I looked over to the mirror on my side of the 3000GT and noticed that the officer was walking up my side of the car – and he started talking to me!

“Sir, can I see you license please,” the officer asked looking directly at me.

“Are you talking to me, sir?” I asked with a bewildered look on my face, utterly confused.

“Don’t play smart with me, son. Who else would I be talking to?” he asked not changing his menacing poker face. “I need to see your license.”

As I reached into my wallet I responded to his ridiculous request. “I just thought that since I’m not the one driving-” he cut me off abruptly, not wanting to hear any of my jive. He just wanted the license. I finally pulled my wallet out of my shorts and presented him with my license.

“Is this your car, son?” the officer asked. I thought to myself for a little before responding. Could this really be happening? What is going to happen when I tell him it isn’t? What’s going to happen when I try to explain that the car belongs to the guy who is driving it?

“No, sir. The car belongs to-” he didn’t even let me finish.

“Please step out of the car, son. Are you carrying any weapons on you?” he asked.

“No sir, I’m not carrying any weapons,” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. I was beyond confused. Right when I stepped out the officer grabbed me and turned me around and posted me on the car as he searched me. As I was aggressively frisked, I looked back in the car to get a look at Kevin, just to see how he was taking this and he was rolling a blunt!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was being harassed for no reason, in someone else’s car, after being pulled over for only God knows what – and he was rolling a mother fucking blunt.

[To be continued. I didn’t finish writing this before I had to close the lab, so I’ll try and get it finished tomorrow. Stay tuned!]

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 48,644
41 days and 51,356 words to go)

The Laguna Bombers and their Parents

2008-07-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

Family aside, nothing outside of school has done more for my development as a functioning United States citizen than sports. When I look back on my days as an adolescent, all of the memories I cherish most have involve me wearing a jersey, whether it be football, basketball or baseball. Back then, there was nothing I loved more than starting a new season, competing against my friends and just learning something daily that I didn’t know the day before. This may seem odd to some, but the majority of my life’s lessons didn’t come from inside the home, the classroom or the church, I learned everything from bulletin boards in the basketball gym locker rooms, the clipboards of my football coaches and in the dugouts that ran parallel with the first and third base lines, because that’s where I spent the majority of my time – and that’s where a lot of today’s youth spends their time.

I remember all of the friends I made playing baseball, I remember all of the trophy’s I’ve won and all of the ones I didn’t win. I remember snacks after ballgames and pizza parties after the end of a season as well as orange slices before the games and new cleats before the seasons. I remember all of us who had so much fun playing the game we loved so much. However, all of the attention of youth baseball seems to go to the children, not that I’m saying it shouldn’t, but when the Little League World Series runs on ESPN we learn so much about everything the kids have gone through just to play on such a large stage, but what about the parents? What about the coaches? What about all of the brothers and sisters who contribute so much of their time and effort into getting these kids where they want to be? These are the questions we need answered, so I went out and asked a group of people who knew what all of this was about – the Laguna Bombers, the 2007 Babe Ruth 10-under World Series Champions.

Youth baseball has always been special in our country because baseball itself is like your favorite song that’s grown old to everyone else, but will always be in the favorite’s play list on your iPod. Baseball is definitely unique when compared to other youth sports because the camaraderie that comes with youth baseball is second to none – and the Laguna Bombers amity, not just between players, but between players, coaches, parents and siblings alike is what makes this small, tight-knit community of people so special.

I heard through a friend that the 2007 Babe Ruth World Series Champions were going to be playing in a tournament in Bakersfield. I showed up to their next game, a late evening thriller against Northwest Bakersfield’s team. At the top of the sixth inning (the sixth inning is the final inning in this league) Laguna took the field just three outs away from sealing yet another victory up 2-0. Bakersfield got a couple on base with two outs, and the next kid up blasted a John Burke pitch over the fence. This was important for two reasons, A) Laguna was down one at the top of the sixth inning and B) no one on Laguna’s side seemed a bit worried about it, it was almost surreal. Burke’s catcher and the rest of the infield went over to him and told him it was going to be alright, Laguna’s manager had a few words with him, but left Burke on the mound when any other manager would not have hesitated to take him off of the mound and all of the parents let him know that all he needed was one more out and the bats would have a chance to win the game for him.

Burke struck out the next kid, two of Laguna’s first three batters got on base then Carlos Mosley dropped the game winning RBI over the second baseman’s head.

It’s not every day you see a team with so much composure down the stretch, especially not with a group of 11-year-olds. I’m not going to lie to you, I was immediately fascinated with these kids and became a fan of this team, as un-journalistic as it may be, because it’s kind of hard not to like this group of kids. I think, more than anything, the composure of these kids, their collective lack of braggadocio and their talent is a testament to the parents and coaching staff who have sacrificed so much for these kids to come out here and compete. The ‘baseball parent’ (or the parent of any youth athlete) is one of our nation’s most undervalued resources.

Like most parents, the parents of the Laguna Bombers love watching their children succeed. When children succeed, they’re happy, and parents are (more times than not) happy when their children are. The success of a child gives the parent something to brag about at the workplace and, sometimes, the parents get to go along for the ride. It may be enough that the kids love being on the road, enjoying their peers company, but the parents of these youth teams, especially all-star teams like the Bombers, who travel from city to city playing in tournaments, get to enjoy each other’s company too.

When Laguna traveled to Vincennes, Indiana for the Babe Ruth World Series last year, the parents of every kid on the team made the trip. These parents know each other, they look out for each other, and every once in a while, they get to have a little fun. When asked how much fun the parents have on the road trips, Patty Wackman confessed, “at beer-thirty, we’re having a lot of fun,” and everyone in the vicinity of her voice laughed at the answer (and I’ll leave the definition of beer-thirty up to your own imagination).

However, not everything is fun and games for the parents of these kids. In order for any of this to happen, sacrifices have to be made.

“Most of us have more than one child,” explains Mo Mosley, father of Carlos and one of the Bombers assistant coaches. “We have other kids in other sports and we’re taking off weeks here and there. For a lot of us, our vacation time has already run out for the year so these parents are sacrificing their time and their money to provide for their kid to have fun. It’s a strain on you, but you don’t let you kid see it because you don’t know if they’re ever going to get to do something like this again. We all have the mindset of ‘I want to work as hard as I can do what I can for my kid.’ A lot of us set aside money because we know how the year is going to go, we’re use to it now, we’re kind of in a rhythm. If we know other parents are struggling, we’ll help out. We’ll buy dinner for the kids, you know, do something to help out the family.”

The family Mo was talking about was the Laguna Bomber’s family – including the players, coaches, parents and siblings. This is a concept that they’ve all bought into, and it was imperative for the team’s success. Manager, Brett Day, told me that the coaching staff tells the kids they’re brothers, and the kids act like it, but some of the parents will tell you the same things about themselves.

“The social life for us [the parents] is usually pretty good,” said Gay Lynn Kelly who describes herself as a ‘baseball mom.’ “You become a family. We do each others laundry, we eat meals together – and have beer-thirty together. We do it all; we all become a part of each other’s families.”

And like all good families, the Laguna Bombers take care of each other, both on and off the field. In preparation for this regional tournament, their last of the season, the team played four tournaments – and won all of them. Day explained that the team has “a tradition of ‘win and swim,’ when we win we get in the pool and have fun and that’s something we always strive to do.” Along with that, some of the parents who have the pools that the kids swim in (and they swim very often), take turns barbequing just to keep the kids close and to keep the burden of the costs of cooking for everyone off just one person – not that they’d all that to happen in any other circumstances.

It is things like this that go unnoticed to the kids who play on these teams. The parents shield their kids from so much of the outside world’s negative tendencies to keep the kids optimistic. Angie Mardical, a real-estate agent and motivational speaker by day and avid Bomber fan by night, explained that the league didn’t really recognize the kids after winning the Babe Ruth World Series the previous season. There was an article of them in their local paper after their win, but there really was no mention of the accomplishment in any of the tournaments that they played in this year and it was not mentioned in a pre-regional tournament banquet. All of their hard work, and for what, an article in their local newspaper – this of course, was taken much harder by the parents than it was by the kids.

“The only problem I think we have is that we think the league needs to support us more,” said Coach Mosley, explaining some of the things these parents shield their kids from. “We’re returning World Series champions – and I don’t want to bash on our league or anything – but we came down here and the kids were like ‘why don’t we have any state champion t-shirts?’ All of these other teams are out here with their state champion t-shirts and hats and our league didn’t do anything for us when we came down here and that kind of upset the kids a little bit, but they kept their heads up and played hard. As their older family members we take it a little harder because we try to shield them from all of the politics.”

In the end, it’s all worth it. The course of the season may be nerve wrecking, long, hard and expensive, but the good always outweighs the bad – especially when the kid who had struck out his two previous times at bat (catcher, David Mickle) can come up in the bottom of the sixth inning and knock in the game winning run in the Regional Championship Game to end another season on top. So this one is for you mom and dad, and for all of the moms and dads across the country who dedicate their time, effort and hard earned dollars into helping their kids have the time of their lives. The games may be soon forgotten, but the parents never will.

Stay Hideous -PB

(Word count to date: 47,108
45 days and 52,892 words to go)

BLAH!

2008-07-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

This is the third straight day that I've written something and ended up completely hating it before finishing it. Today I was working on my article on Little League Baseball and decided, only 1,110 words in that it's way too corny and needs to be re-written. I'm not really forcing anything, I'm just not writing anything interesting.

It's a down time for me right now. Maybe because I have too much other shit to worry about. Or maybe it's just because my hands hurt. I'm going back to the notebook for a couple of days and hopefully I'll have some better shit.

I know it's been a few days since I've posted here, but I've written a lot of words since the 24th and when I complete some of the shit I'm working on, I should be right back on track toward that 100,000. I want to say that I have writers block, but that isn't the case at all since I've been writing every day, I just have good content block. I haven't written anything worth anything in days. It's stupid.

That's all for the day. I just wanted those of you who care to know why I haven't posted in almost a week. There you have it. Hopefully, I'll be back tomorrow.

Mother Fucking Republicans

2008-07-24T12:56:00.000-07:00

It was recently reported that California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is trying to ruin my life for a mistake the majority of his state’s citizen’s had nothing to do with. Schwarzenegger, because of California’s 15.2 million dollar budget deficit, has proposed lowering the pay of nearly 200,000 state employees to the federal minimum wage of $6.55 an hour until lawmakers can figure out how to deal with this ridiculous budget. Raped Again By Mother Fucking Republicans.

So what does this mean? It means that thousands of high school teachers aren’t going to be able to pay the lease on their Nissan Altimas, it means thousands of temporary workers will find their jobs even more temporary than expected, it means thousands of college students aren’t even going to be able to afford a grande meal from Taco Bell during one of those hideous drunken nights – hell, they aren’t even going to be able to afford the damn alcohol. This means I might not have rent on time for a couple of months or I won’t have any gas to drive my car to my 6.55 an hour job! This means that I, along with other men and women across the state who decided to pursue a higher education could be federally fucked.

In the wake of the deliberating, college students, most notably ones who work on campus in state schools are going to have much on their minds to worry about, as if the pressures of term papers, final exams and that one professor who is out to get everyone isn’t enough. They’ll have to worry about not only the possibility of their wages being cut substantially, $1.45 less per hour, but tuition fees are set to be raised again – by a whopping 10%. Students who are employed by their schools could potentially be making less money while being forced to pay more to remain enrolled in the said school.

Is this the way things are going to be? I can only ponder conspiracies by credit companies and loan sharks to keep the future of this damn country in debt. How else can this be explained? I’m going to owe money for the rest of my life, and if I end up working for the state of fucking California (God forbid) I can have the wages I’m going to need to be paying back to these damn credit companies and loan sharks cut at any point without a reasonably fair warning. Our collective lives are going to be ruined. Sure, I may be a little extreme with the conspiracy theories or with the assumption that all of our lives (our meaning the college students at state schools in California who work for their schools, a very small demographic in comparassion to those who don’t work for the school), but this can’t be helping and it’s truly unfair.

Schwarzenegger’s spokes man, Aaron McLear, explained the reason for the wage cuts saying, “the Legislature has failed to produce a budget over a month past their deadline and because we don't have a rainy day fund, the governor is looking at a number of options to make sure the state does not run out of cash."

What I would like to know is what these other options are because I really don’t like this one. McLear also goes on to explain that state employees would receive their full salary retroactively once a budget is signed. Retroactively being the key word here. Federal court case Landgraf v. USI states “a particular rule operates `retroactively' comes at the end of a process,” which means, this process can take as short – or as long as they need it to take. State employees can go without their hard earned dollars for several months if need be, something that can put a lot of us in a really bad position.

Because of this there are two problems that I’m very concerned with. One, why is it okay for the state to force me to lend them my money without interest and two, how does this help, instead of hurt our state’s economy?

I can’t answer the first question simply because I wouldn’t know where to look it up and I don’t have the time or patience to look it up. However, I can offer some insight as to why this not only bothers me, but bothers all who would be affected by this preposterous mandate. If this goes through the wages of some of the most important people in our state will be cut dramatically. I’m not talking about importance as far as title and bank accounts go, I’m talking about important as far as what they’re doing for our community. We’re talking about teachers, fire fighters, health care workers, social workers, garbage men and that bitch at the DMV. Our state is nothing without these people, and they work hard for their God dammed money. In fact, they’re doing their jobs much better than Governor Schwarzenegger, who was supposed to be balancing the budget and not putting us in this position in the first place. Weren’t Californians originally pissed off at Governor Gray Davis because of the budget problem he had? Why should Schwarzenegger be given a pass for doing the job just as terribly (actually this budget deficit is nothing compared to the 30+ million Davis seemed to manufacture, but still) and why should he take it out on his employees? He shouldn’t. What Schwarzenegger should have done is done his job right. Somehow he cost the state of California 15 million dollars, and I know for a fact if I cost my boss 15 million I’d be fired. I’m just saying.

As far as the second question goes, I’m not sure if it helps the state’s economy at all. Macro Econ 101 tells us that the more money is circulated through the economy, the better off it will be, especially in a state so dependent on sales and income taxes. We’re either the most materialistic or the second most materialistic state in the country, we like to spend our money and that’s what makes this economy thrive, how is this money going to be circulated when you’re taking it away from us – especially when people are so reluctant to drive long distances with these higher gas prices and are generally spending less anyway for the same reasons. Gas right now is well over four dollars per gallon, and our governor wants to pay us less than two dollars more than the price of gas per gallon. This is going to set a lot of people back, which in turn will probably set the economy back further than it already is – which could lead to companies raising prices – which would ultimately lead to even less spending and all of a sudden we’re in a fucking recession (again, I’m a bit extreme).

How about instead of giving your people more monetary problems because you’ve created your own, get all of these fucking politicians in a fucking room and have them figure out this fucking budget. Because your plan is over a month over due it does not give you the right to make it my problem too. I live in California, not South Dakota, I need my fucking money.

(Side bar, I’m not a money hungry bastard, but I don’t like when the little money I have is taken away from me. It’s not cool at all.)

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 45,063
52 days and 54,937 words to go)

College Basketball Notebook

2008-07-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

So I had to take a week off of the College Basketball Notebook for reasons refuse to tell on this website, but I’m back. Two weeks ago I revealed the Top Five (or six) teams not in the Top 5. This week I have my Top 5 teams to stay relevant after key losses. Every year schools lose big named players who contributed a lot to their team’s success, but more often than not, teams need some time to pick up where they left off. These teams, however, should have no problem getting back to playing well and contending for conference supremacy.

Louisville
By early March of last season I was huge on Rick Pitino’s team. I was sure they would win the Big East Tournament (lost to Pitt in overtime) and were definitely an Elite 8 team (which they were and lost to North Carolina). Like most Pitino teams, Louisville only got better as the season continued, however, their success was due in large part to the return of David Padgett, who had been sidelined throughout his collegiate career with injury. This season, Padgett, along with Derrick Character (transfer), will not be returning next season – four of their starters, however, will be back, including their starting backcourt in Edgar and Jerry Smith. The Cardinals will also bring in the Associated Press high school player of the year in Samardo Samuels, who is sure to be a one and done prospect. Even in the stacked Big East with Padgett gone, Louisville is still in a great position to have another great season with four of their five starters coming back and arguably the best high school player in the nation.

Biggest Question: Will Edgar Sosa be able to play consistently for a full season? After a great freshman season and an up and down sophomore campaign, Louisville is really going to need Sosa to have a good season for them to stay in the top 3 of the Big East next year. After watching Sosa go for 31 on Texas A&M in the 2006 Tourney (one of those games I’ll never forget). After two years playing in the Big East, Sosa should be well seasoned and should play up to his potential (for some reason I see him leading this team like Francisco Garcia did some years ago).

Key Losses: David Padgett (SR); Derrick Character (Transfer); Juan Palacios (SR)
Notable Freshmen: Samardo Samuels (C); Kyle Kuric (SG); Jared Swopshire (SF)

Michigan State
Drew Neitzel has been huge for Michigan State over the last for years, and now he’s gone – and I feel Michigan State will be better off without him. I, along with hundreds of thousands of other college basketball fans, loved watching Neitzel play, but there were a lot of times where I felt that he was a ball stopper. He scored so well that his team depended on him getting his shots instead of taking what was given to them. Next season Spartan fans have Raymar Morgan to look forward to. He really came out of his shell last season, and with Neitzel gone, he should be much more productive. Also, Goron Sutton was much more active on the boards, Kalin Lucas seems more than promising, the Spartans are bringing in one of the nation’s best recruiting classes – and don’t forget that they’re being coached by Tom Izzo. I like Michigan State to be competitive in the Big-10 again, even with the loss of Neitzel.

Biggest Question: With Neitzel gone, how long will it take for the offense to adjust without him? I don’t think it will take too long with Izzo running the show. The first few games will be mere exhibition games and they should have all kinks worked out by the end of the pre-season tournaments, well before league play. Ramar Morgan is going to be one of the elite players in the Big-10 next year and Kalin Lucas appears to be a rising star.

Key Losses: Drew Neitzel (SR)
Notable Freshmen: Delvon Roe (PF); Draymond Green (PF); Korie Lucas (PG)

Wisconsin
Bo Ryan has done an incredible job building this program having failed to win at least 25 games only once during the course of the last five seasons, and a lot of that success can be attributed to the recruiting he’s done. Four years ago he brought in Brian Butch and Michael Flowers, and now, they’re gone. Sure, Butch was a force to be reckoned with inside and all scorers feared the defensive intensity of Flowers (well, everyone except Stephon Curry) but the Badgers will be returning Trevon Hughes and Marcus Laundry as well as one of the most underrated coaches in the nation in Ryan. MSU and Perdue are going to be good, but don’t be surprised if Wisconsin is right in the thick of things contending for another Big-10 title. Keep an eye out for the incoming bigs, Ryan has a knack for recruiting the right guys to fit his system.

Biggest Question: Who is going to replace Brian Butch inside? As of right now, it looks like incoming freshman Ian Markolf may get the nod for the starting position. Scouts say he’s a solid seven-footer with a nice skill set and has the physical toughness to compete in the Big-10. He’s not the quickest guy or the most athletic, but he may prove tough to handle and should be able to block and alter shots with his size, something Bo Ryan obviously values since Wisconsin had the nations best defense last season only allowing 54.3 points per contest.

Key Losses: Brian Butch (SR); Michael Flowers (SR)
Notable Freshmen: Jared Berggren (C); Jordan Taylor (PG); Ian Markolf (C)

Be sure to check out the rest of this edition of the College Basketball Notebook at Talkhoops.net.

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 43,825
52 days and 56,175 words to go)

I'll be a better writer tomorrow

2008-07-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

…Today I’ll have a few words of importance, a few words that aren’t worth shit, and a few words about sports (which will either be words of importance or words that aren’t worth shit depending on which way you swing)…

…I have this thing where it takes me months to finish books sometimes. I finally finished a book called The Emperor of Ocean Park. I thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover. Today I picked up Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. I remember reading a portion of it in a high school writing thing, I’m excited because it’s already super interesting and hilarious. I’ve become a nerd these last couple of weeks. I read too much (or not enough)…

…Today I’ve been listening to Jimmy Hendrix’s first studio album “Are You Experienced?” and I’m pleased. There are very few classic rock albums that I’ll sit down and listen to (like Led Zeppelin’s first album and Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side” and The Doors’ “Waiting for the Sun,”) this will definitely be one of them…

…I had a cheeseburger today and it didn’t go well for some reason. When I swallowed my first bite (no homo hahahaha) I immediately felt like it clogged every fucking artery that’s worth clogging. Sure, it tasted like ambrosia, but I need to eat healthier. Also, I’m getting back in the gym, I’ll have my weight back up to 150lbs by the end of the summer. I’m currently at 146. I have 53 days to put on four pounds – this is much harder than it sounds for someone who is part toothpick…

…I’m convinced if I had a reality show, I’d change your view on their importance within the greater schemes of American society. My show will be that important…

…I remembered another dream last night. My car talked like those cars on those old Chevron commercials. We talked about anxiety attacks and the perfection that is Paula Patton. I don’t know what it means…

…Of course, I have thoughts on the WNBA brawl. What kind of question is that…

…How has no one sampled Hendrix’s “Foxy Lady” yet? Snoop Dogg would pay a lot of money for this instrumental…

…For some reason I thought it was a good idea to get text message alerts about all of the Giants games at the beginning of the season, so far, I’ve gotten 58 text messages that have pissed me off…

…Speaking of being pissed off, everyone was all surprised that I was so pissed. Most people actually never see me mad, which I guess, no one did this time, which I’m guessing was the reason for their shock. Who was I mad at? She knows, and if she doesn’t she’s a bum. I’ll won’t be talking about this anymore so stop asking…

…I’m really not excited about writing anymore. I’m just going through the motions until I’m actually inspired by something that’s worth being excited about…

…About a week ago Davion told me that I need to be writing things the way I would say them, that may be the best advice I’ve been given about writing, I just need to figure out how to do that…

…If I had a choice between being thrown in a pit of poisonous snakes and being thrown in an angry Samoan’s tent, I’d choose the snakes every time…

…My sister is probably the only person who can take someone’s bad situation, make a terrible joke about it and be looked at as a comic genius. Yesterday she told me that she thinks my grandfather pushed my grandmother and that is the reason she hit her head and ended up in the hospital. I had tears because of the laughter. If I had said that shit, I’d be considered nothing short of evil…

…Three NFL teams to look out for next year: The Redskins, the Cardinals, and the Jaguars. All three of those teams will make the playoffs. The Cowboys, however, will win the Super Bowl. The Raiders (I’m hoping this isn’t a stretch) will finish at 8-8. No jokes here…

…Sometimes I wish Maurice Clarett didn’t turn out the way he did – but right now, I’m glad he did, I feel better about myself…

…This has been yet another unproductive blog…

…Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow a much better writer. As a matter of fact, that’s the new motto – be a better writer tomorrow. It’s both inspiration to work harder and an excuse. I’m working hard to become a better tomorrow every day, but if I don’t feel like doing shit, I’ll just be a better writer tomorrow. I love it. I’m a genius. I’ll leave with that…

Stay Hideous and be a better writer tomorrow!
-PB

(Word count to date: 42,415
53 days and 57,585 words to go)

The Chief of Dicks: Butt of all jokes

2008-07-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

I got up early this morning to take a second shower after my badly needed haircut as I always do. One after the cut, more often than not in the evening, and one the morning after. It is necessary. After rinsing my skin and drying myself off I slipped on a pair of boxers and a pair of basketball shorts that weren’t quite pulled all the way up to my waist, in fact, they fell way short of the recommended destination. As I pulled out my clothes, I realized that desperately needed something out of my car. I slipped on one of my over-sized shirts and walked outside, shorts still sagging to retrieve what was dutifully needed to complete the mornings routines. What I went out to get isn’t as important as the fact that, if I were to do this in Flint, Michigan, I could be arrested if I were seen by a sworn officer.

On June 26th, the Flint Chief of Police released a memo saying, “Due to a significant number of complaints form citizens regarding youths and adults “sagging” wearing pants and/or shorts below their waist and indecently exposing their buttocks, it is necessary that we enforce the law concerning disorderly person(s), only when sworn officers observe this misdemeanor.” What the chief was saying, in a nut shell, is that if you are caught with your pants below your waist, an officer will take action. The memo continues, “Therefore, any sworn officer who observes a person or persons committing indecent exposure (sagging/exposing buttocks) within the City of Flint jurisdiction has probable cause to effect a misdemeanor arrest…”

The reason, as The Flint Journal’s editorial staff feels, is that the Chief of Police “is trying to create is a higher expectation for our youth, and we're not talking about the altitude of their belt loops. We're talking about a generation of young people who have not been taught proper respect for themselves or others, and their anti-social behavior, in the form of sagging, reflects their lack of values.”

As a young African-American male who grew up in this country with the notion that hip-hop culture, including the style of dress, was not only cool, but acceptable when not in the work place (unless, of course where you worked in a place where dressing like your favorite rapper was acceptable) because of this idea that was worked into our countries constitution more than two centuries ago that says that all of it’s citizens has the right to the freedom of expression as long as it doesn’t take away from the freedoms of others. I could be wrong, but I’m almost positive that I have that right. If my pants, or if the pants of any other individual, happen to slide six or seven inches below the point where the belt is most affective, is that necessarily taking away the right of someone else? I don’t think so.

Sagging of pants is every bit as much a form of expression as guys who wear girls jeans, walking around in a polo with your collar popped, having tattoos of swastikas or confederate flags or wearing dirty pants. Sure, I scoff at the people who do these ridiculous things, but because I don’t like them does it mean those people should be arrested for doing them? Absolutely not. This Chief of Police, Dicks, isn’t looking at the larger scheme of things, or at least he wasn’t when he crafted this silly rule because there are three fundamental flaws with this idea that will do more to ruin this city, which isn’t necessarily thriving in the first place, that it will do to help the those who call Flint, Michigan home: A) This hurts teens more than it helps the community, B) this will be viewed as an attack on the black community even though Dicks is an African-American himself and C) there are much larger issues that need to be dealt with in Flint.

This hurts teens more than it helps the community.

The whole idea behind enforcing this law, or at least this is what they’re saying, is to rid their youth of the style that they are assuming is leading them to gang lifestyles. They’re trying to put the youth of their city in a better position to succeed in this world, but they couldn’t be going about it in a worse way. There is no way a teenager can benefit from this repulsive law because there will be mental, social, physical and monitary repercussions just for having to choose between completely changing their chosen style of dress or having to deal with the damn police. The punishment, as it now stands, for being caught with your pants below your waist could be up to 93 days in jail or a hefty $500 fine. Please, by all means, tell me who this is helping. If we want our youth to succeed in this world, the way to go about it is definitely not to throw them in jail for a quarter of a year for choosing to wear their pants a few inches below where you’d prefer to wear them. It makes no sense, plus, they’re not actually breaking any law and the arrest is, as far as I understand, borderline unconstitutional.

The state law in every single one of the fifty states is defined as exposure of the genitals and/or the female breast in a public place and may in some states require evidence of intent to shock, arouse or offend other persons. This, however, does not include showing your boxers. In fact, the majority of the kids walking around with shirts that are 3-4 sizes to large anyway, so to even notice that one of these kids is sagging, an officer is going to have to pull up their fucking shirts. So, not only will these kids be locked for 25 percent of a year for emulating their favorite rap star, missing out, not only on their childhood, but the education they probably could use considering they probably won’t know that them being arrested for ‘not-indecent exposure’ is unconstitutional, or they’ll pay a five-hundred dollar fine neither they nor their families will have considering the economy and poverty rates of the city. How is this helping any? It isn’t. On top of all of this, they’ll carry around the stigma of “I can’t express myself the way I want to but others can” for the rest of their damn lives.

This will be viewed as an attack on the Black community

Probable cause has a certain ring to it, and it means two very different things to two very different groups of people: Black people and police. Probable Cause is the standard by which a police officer has the right to make an arrest – or conduct a search – or obtain a search warrant. Probable Cause is bad news for the teens (and adults who have sadly failed to out grow the trend) because if your pants are below your waist, any officer has the right to search them and take them into custody without question – something that will easily be seen as an attack on the black community. Dicks has essentially given Probable Cause to any officer who sees a young black man of color who might be wearing pants a size larger than it seems he should be wearing. I can only think of the heightened racial tensions that are sure to come, I can only think of all of the youngsters who will be wrongfully harassed for watching music videos, I can only think of Bazaar from D12 being stuck in those cells with fat ass with the youth from Flint, Michigan that will not be given a chance, things that will only lead to the promulgation of the hatred that black men and women already have for the damn police.

It’s no secret that a whopping majority of American citizens who wear their pants below the waist line are black, so why target citizens who do this in one of the most racially sensitive countries in the world. It’s also not a secret that a whopping majority of the same African-Americans who are wearing their pants below their waist feel like racism is still alive and thriving. Why give them the means to justify their thoughts? Not only is this going to give these people a heightened negative view about the powers that be whose skin tone is much lighter than theirs, but now they feel they can’t even get a break from one of their very own, Officer Dicks, or more accurately, Uncle Tom. It’s ridiculous laws like these that never fail to remind us that we really haven’t grown into a more tolerant nation, it’s just that the weight of the lack of tolerance has been shifted around so much that it’s become much less noticeable, much like women who wear girdles to give the appearance of slimmer thighs and waist lines. This country is no less tolerant than it was 20 years ago, and the fact that people are supporting their Chief of Police (at least according to four of the five comments left on the previously mentioned editorial and the poll of over 1,400 readers on the respective website) is reason to believe that it isn’t going to change.

There are much larger issues that need to be dealt with in Flint, Michigan.

In the 2008 State of the State address, Jennifer Granholm, Governor of Michigan commended Flint on its 46% drop in crime in 2007. In May 2008, new crime statistics for the city were released, showing some of the most dramatic decreases in crime in decades. Murder had dropped 71%, Assault had dropped 48%. Arson and auto theft also saw drops in the 20% range. All of this is amazing, simply amazing, however, even with their 46% decrease in crime in 2007, they were still reported as being the third most dangerous city in the country by the Congressional Quarterly. If your crime decreases by 46% and you’re still the third most dangerous city in the country, you need to be asking yourself two very fundamental questions. One, Where are the police and two, why do you want these police who aren’t preventing crimes to arrest teenagers who would prefer their pants to resemble the style 50 Cent wears his pants? The answer to the first question can be found in recent articles about the city. 48 officers were recently laid off, nearly 20 percent of the sworn officers. How are you becoming a less dangerous city when you don’t have enough tax dollars to pay these officers? How can you afford to have these officers wasting their time chasing down innocent teenagers with baggy pants when you can have a 71% decrease in murder, and still have very high murder rates? How can you afford to jail these children when you had to close your city jail house because of budget constraints?

Where are the priorities of the city? Where are the priorities of the Chief of Police? Where is the state government and why aren’t they stepping in telling Mr. Dicks that this is a terrible idea? Josh Freeman, A resident, and commenter of the Flint Journal editorial broke things down from a first hand point of view when he said, “You have got to be kidding me. Flint has so many problems facing it and this is the first major announcement from the Interim Chief's office? We have hookers walking the sidewalk on an almost daily basis in front of my place of employment. Come to work early and you have to run them and their customers out of the lot. The lady down the street had her house broken into and she calls 911 at 8:00pm. The police finally arrive at 3:00am. There will be nearly 50 lay offs in the Police Department - nearly 20% of the sworn officers. In the Detective Bureau - there are thousands of cases backlogged because there is not enough people to handle them all.”

There is something seriously wrong with society when sagging pants gets more attention than hookers.

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 41,632
54 days and 58,368 words to go)

I was CLEARLY mistaken

2008-07-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

I was under the assumption that everyone knew these things about me:

1. I LOVE sports
2. I am NOT stupid
3. I HATE liars

I was CLEARLY mistaken. It seems that certain people I thought were close enough to understand those three simple facts about me seemed to have thought that two of the three were non-factors. Well, as it turns out, I'm really not stupid, not at all, far from it. Also, I do hate liars, very much. Surprise! When you lie and think I'm not intelligent enough to pick it up it angers me. And when I don't have cable because I just moved into the new apartment, meaning no ESPN, it just adds fuel to the fire.

That is all.

Leave of absence

2008-07-19T02:28:00.000-07:00

I've spent hours at my computer with finger tips patiently waiting for my mind to manufacture the words they'd normally be moving onto my flat-screen monitor and just as many hours in bed with my notebook at side, pen in hand, ready to transcribe ideas that just never came since yesterday afternoon -- when I found out my grandmother had been hospitalized, I'll spare the details.

I've tried writing, but I can't. Since I got a text message telling me my grandma was in the hospital (really? I couldn't even get a phone call?) I've written a total of 119 words. 119. Hours of trying to get words out of my system and I was able to get down a total of 119 damn words. Terrible. I've written much more than the 30-something thousand words I've posted on this blog because I really do write every day, I just can't post a lot of it because either A) it hasn't been completed yet, B) it became way too personal and I just don't trust you or myself enough to posr it on a blog, or C) it was just too shitty. I've never gone a day and a half of wanting to write and turned out so little, and what I did write falls under all three of the catagories I just mentioned -- not done, personal, and shitty.

So I've decided that I'm not going to write -- or at least I'm not posting anything on this blog -- until I know she's going to be better, or at least until she's able to leave her hospital bed. It's just not a good time. I've never lost anyone close to me so, suffice to say, the news was a little hard on me. I can't write, for the second night in a row I'm up well past two (for those of you who don't know me I'm rarely up past 12 on a normal night) and, if that wasn't enough reason, I just don't feel like anything I've written over the course of the last three to four weeks has been worth anyone's time.

I'm apologizing in advance if I seem a bit distant to those of you I'm close with these next few days, I'll do what I can not to be.

Get well soon, Grandma. Hopefully I'll blog again soon.

I'm probably going to fail.

2008-07-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made, what use to be bi-weekly trips, my first trip to Boarders, the bookstore down the street from my apartment. As I always do, I walked straight back to the sports section just to see if there was anything new that I should purchase, and after finding nothing that I particularly wanted (this Boarders has the absolute worse sports section of my life), I moseyed my way over to the magazine section and grabbed a few periodicals, the ones I always reach for while at any book store – Esquire, SPIN, SLAM, Complex, Rolling Stone and XXL.

I tend to make trips to the bookstores when my frustrations mount up to become stress and my stress, in turn, becomes unbearable. There is something about being surrounded by some of the world’s greatest writings that sets my mind at ease. Don’t ask why, but magazines, reading writers whose jobs I desperately want but will never have, help to take the pressures of being a 21-year-old college student away – and those pressures, now more than ever, are coming down hard on me for no reason apparent to me.

After picking up my favorites off the racks, I walked over to the table I always sit at while there and opened up the first magazine on the top of my stack, Esquire. As with every magazine I read, I opened straight to the table of contents to check out what features I might want to read. The cover story, a guest column by Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert, was on the ‘victimization of white men in America.’ I know he’s not to be taken seriously, and it’s a feature I’d normally read, but with my mind set, I dismissed the idea of reading it knowing it would probably just piss me off, and nothing is worse that stress and fury. However, I did skip to page 98 to check out the Paula Patton feature. I don’t have many celebrity crushes, but this woman has definitely captured my imagination. As I slid Esquire off to the side, I simultaneously moved SPIN in front of me and pretty much closed it just as fast as it was opened. I checked their album reviews and moved on. XXL was next in my quickly depreciating pile of mags. T.I.’s bum ass was on the cover. Under any other circumstances, I would have placed his ass back on the rack but Busta Rhymes name was on the cover. There was a cool story on Papoose but the one on Busta had me much less excited about his up coming album. Fucking reading, man. I grabbed the big magazine next. The cover was nothing but Barack Obama cheesing and the Rolling Stone logo behind his head. However, I didn’t even get to the Obama story, I read this expose on Amy Winehouse (biggest waste of talent since Lauryn Hill) and a Q&A with Nas (hopefully I’ll be seeing him live for the first time on Friday!).

All of this lead me to Complex and an article they had on James McAvoy (actor from The Last King of Scotland and Atonement) and Common. I didn’t read the whole thing, in fact, I didn’t even get through the first page for two reasons: One, I always read the questions of an interview before reading it, and the questions of their particular article were way too corny for me to every want to read it in it’s entirety (if I ever land a gig at some magazine you have full permission to kick the fuck out of my shins if I ever ask something as corny as “What kind of super power would you want?”). The second reason being Common’s answer to a much better question. He was asked what he felt was the value of nihilistic art whether in hip hop or in movies and he responded saying: “I’m an advocate for hope and I always feel like there’s hope; I don’t know why, that’s just what I believe. I don’t know if it’s my spiritual belief that makes me know it’s always hope, but I definitely didn’t feel that Wanted (the movie both he and McAvoy are promoting) left no hope.”

After reading that quote I stopped to think, as if realizing something that I didn’t know, even thought it’s something I definitely knew about myself, but the quote seemed to resonate with me on another level because of my current life situations. Common (and also Nas in his Q&A interview in Rolling Stone) said that the always feels that there is hope, in any situation, and it might be because of his spiritual beliefs (meaning religion) and I realized (again) that because of my own faith (sports) I have become unequivocally pessimistic and normally have no hope in every situation. Christian’s have the ability to gain their optimism from the word of God knowing if you put your faith in Him, good things are sure to come. Unfortunately for me, I put my faith in the Lakers, Raiders, Giants, USC and UNC and well, as much of myself as I put into those teams, things don’t always turn out right. Since I came into this world in January of 1987, there have been 104 different title opportunities for my favorite teams and there and only eight and a half of them have been actually converted into titles (I say eight and a half because USC shared their 2004 title with Auburn). How can one stay optimistic when all of his time and energy is put into something is constantly disappointing him? He can’t – which is why when he is let down by other worldly forces, it doesn’t bother him.

I always assume the worse in people, and I’d really like to not to, but it’s just a habit that has been started by professional and collegiate athletics and has carried over to various real-life situations. I feel like I’m very much alone in this world because my pessimism has turned into distrust (something I generally don’t regret) and me being shut off (something others generally feel I should regret). Sometimes I wish I had hope. I wonder what it’s like having an optimistic attitude toward life in general, but that just would be me. I just don’t, how do homophobe’s say it, swing that way. And because of it, I’ll probably never be successful, but I just don’t think I will be. Everyone I know who has had their share of life successes are all very optimistic people, and this was the most discerning part of my though process while I sat at my table with the latest edition of Complex open right in front of me. I’m never going to be successful – and I thought I was scared of the future before. Maybe, hopefully (there’s that word again) these people are just optimistic because things have turned out for the better for them individually, I mean, maybe if I had a few good hands in life’s game of poker maybe I’d be a bit different. Maybe I should just throw away sports? Fuck that. I need them. I’m stopping now. Stream of consciousness is getting me no where.

Also, I’ve decided that if I’m going to be a better sports journalist, or just a better journalist period, I need to start writing more in a journalistic style. In fact, I haven’t written anything that I’d put in my newspaper (Ed in Chief in the Fall! For some reason, I’m excited about this now, we’ll see how I’m feeling about this in August) aside from that piece I wrote on Jordan. Speaking of that piece on Jordan, I should be writing another basketball article using a communication theory soon, either on the fan-superstar relationship, the loyalty the fan has with the superstar and the hatred of other super stars in the league, or why the Knicks didn’t work with Isaiah Thomas running the show (something that should be written quickly). I just have so much I want to write about, so much I want to accomplish, so many things I want to experience but I just have the stark feeling that these things just aren’t going to happen for me. I just don’t see a successful future, at least not in what I want to do: write about sports, the reason I don’t think I’ll be successful in the first place. Ironic, isn’t it?

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 39,084
61 days and 60 ,916 words to go)

I don't want Brett Favre to leave Green Bay

2008-07-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

(Sorry, I have to say, before I get into my whole Brett Favre spiel, let me just say that watching Miss USA fall on her ass pretty much made my night yesterday. Thank god my friend told me it was on because it would have sucked major eggs to miss that. Pure comedy. Oh, and Miss Venezuela was about as dumb as a bucket of hammers.)

Just minutes after Brett Favre announced his retirement shortly after the 2007-2008 NFL Season ended, everyone wondered whether or not Favre would actually stay retired or would he want to come back for another season after being just one game away from the game’s ultimate prize with a young talented team. After months of telling journalists across the nation that he was finally done for good, Favre decided just about a week ago that he still had that “itch to play” and asked his former team for one more shot. After not feeling like he was welcomed to come back to Green Bay, Favre has asked to be released so he can let another team in this league (gasp!) take advantage of his services. After hearing the story, I have to say that I’m more than disappointed in the Green Bay Packers. Not that I don’t understand their wanting to move on as franchise, but their not being open for Brett Favre’s return just makes no sense (to me) on so many different levels.

Reason 1: Brett Favre is a better quarterback than Aaron Rogers
The Packers are extremely confident in Aaron Rogers, and as a franchise, I like to see them having so much confidence in their young quarterback who had to know it would take a life time before he actually got the starting job after being drafted to Green Bay, but the fact remains that, when Brett Favre is on your roster, he is your best quarterback. Of course, the Packers need to start developing the youngster, but why not do it with Brett Favre on your roster? What’s wrong with going a little NCAA on these NFL teams and letting Rogers take a few series ever game to give him that much needed game time experience? Especially knowing that when he fucks up, you can always go back to Favre. No pressure for Rogers and Favre gets his last hoorah. Without Favre, you’ll see a whole lot of Rogers handing the ball off to Ryan Grant until he gets use to the speed of the professional game.

Ultimately, this comes down to the whole ‘we’re in this to win Super Bowls’ thing, and Favre gives you a better chance right now. The NFC is going to be as tough as it’s been in a long time in this upcoming season, and if I’m a Packers GM, I’m going to want to put out as competitive a roster as I can next season, and replacing Rogers with Favre just takes away from that competitiveness.

Reason 2: It’s going to be weird seeing him in another jersey
I’m not a Packers fan in any shape or form, but I do not want to see Brett Favre in another jersey. Ever. Can you imagine him going to Minnesota? The number four and the name Favre on a fucking purple jersey just doesn’t seem right. What about Favre in Baltamore or Tennessee or San Francisco? That shit would be gross. I just don’t see him throwing touchdown passes to Benard Berrian. Nor do I see him throwing them to mark Clayton or Justin Gage or Bryant Johnson, not if they’re not clad in green and yellow jerseys. No one wants to see that, no real football fans at least. It’s sickening, and it’s a phenomenon that football fans from other teams have experienced before, and we never like it, we never get used to it, and we never want to get used to it. A few recent (since the turn of the millennium) examples of record holding players moving to another team after spending their whole career with one include, but are not limited to, Jerry Rice traveling across the bay to catch passes for the Raiders (even as a Raiders fan, I could never get used to that shit), Emmit Smith going to the desert to take handoffs in for the Cardinals and the worst of all (well, the worst for me) was when Tim Brown traveled across the country to play for the fucking Buccaneers after losing the fucking Super Bowl to John Grueden’s fucking team (more on this later). What I’m trying to say is, it never works for the fans of the game, and it’s just not fans of the said team who don’t like when this happens. I don’t think it’s good for football, especially when some dirtbag ass fan wears the jersey of the player for the new team. It’s disgusting.

Reason 3: The Packers Fans
It’s hard to imagine any sports franchise loving a player more than Brett Favre is loved in Green Bay. Only transcendent players get love like Brett Frarve gets loved. We’re talking the Magic Johnson’s, the Larry Bird’s, the Michael Jordan’s, the Joe Montana’s, the Wayne Gretsky’s, the Babe Ruth’s, the Ozzie Smith’s and the Cal Ripkin’s of the world. We’re talking about some of the most loved athletes to their respective teams, and Favre is definitely in that class. There, I’m guessing, is nothing much to do in Wisconsin except to cheer for the two colleges (Wisconsin and Marquette) and to cheer for Brett Favre while they gnaw down on their fucking cheddar. When you take Favre away, you take away the best thing to happen to the state since Vince Lombardi. For a lot of the younger citizens in Green Bay, it would be taking away the only quarterback they’ve every known and letting him throw a football to some receiver unknown to them wearing a jersey that isn’t green and yellow. It’s hard to fathom for me, I can only imagine how the Packers fans must feel (and I know it’s terrible because of this story on ESPN that says that the fans want him back). I’ve experienced this twice in my life (the first time was when Al Davis fucked Marcus Allen and allowed him to play football and retire in Kansas City, but I know this is a different situation, I just write about it every chance I get because I'm still bitter as shit, I wasn’t old enough to solve for variables yet, but I sure as hell was old enough to understand that my favorite running back of all time would never put on a fucking Raiders jersey again. The second time, as mentioned earlier, was when Tim Brown, the greatest Raiders receiver of my lifetime, and a top 3 of his generation (I only rank Jerry Rice and Chris Carter above brown as far as receivers from the late 80s and 90s go, and I’ll argue point for point with anyone who disagrees with that shit, anyone, even you Rich Eisen!). I almost cried watching him catch is 100th mother fucking touchdown pass, for the fucking Buccaneers – against the mother fucking Raiders!! In the fucking Coliseum. 99 with the fucking Raiders, the mother fucking 100^th with the fucking Bucs (Sorry, bad times garner bad language). No one in Green Bay is going to want to experience that, especially is Favre succeeds. There is nothing worse than watching the best player to ever grace your franchise (or at least the best in your lifetime) play for another team – and do well. I feel bad for Packers fans, I really do. They’re losing a legend, a football icon, a first ballot hall of famer who just want’s one last hoorah. Give it to him. Please, give Favre one more season. Not for me, not for football, do it for Green Bay.

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 37,679
62 days and 62,321 words to go)

Random Thoughts and Links...

2008-07-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

...Sometimes the words are forced, and today is a perfect illustration of that. There are a few good links, a few bad links and a few thoughts I wish I wouldn't have shared. I just didn't feel like writing anything today, but my pace for 100,000 is getting terribly close to 1,000 words per day, every day until September 15th. I need to stop taking weekends off...

...Today is a freshman orientation, and when they need to print something, they come to me. I usually just release the print jobs on the printer right next to my desk, but this fat girl asked for a print job and I made her walk to the furthest printer from my desk. I've done my good deed for the day...

…This morning I stumbled upon Sports Illustrated’s “Greatest Individual Sports Rivalries.” I really didn’t have a problem with the list because, for the most part, they were some damn good rivalries. They had the likes of Magic-Bird, Federer-Nadal, Nickalus-Palmer, Ali-Frazier, Evert-Navratilova, and Brady-Manning amongst others. When I got to the fifteenth rivalry, however, I was bothered. There is no way that the hot dog eating rivalry between Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut should be amongst the greatest sports rivalries, especially when ones like Jordan-Wilkins, Kareem-McHale, and Lawrence Talor-Drugs were left off…

…That Miley Cyrus bitch can’t lip sing for shit. Worst music video of my life -- oh and she can't sing and she's ugly and her show sucks and I heard she's a whore and she's stupid The seven things I hate about her…

...Unfortunately, I spent most of my Saturday inside my apt, cleaning that shit getting ready to move. A lot of that time was spent watching music videos (something I haven't done in years, not an exaggeration) and I learned that A) I actually like a Lil Mama song (!) and B) it's featuring T-Pain (!!). Maybe because I think the beat is crazy, or maybe I just really like it. That shit is ill and I'm ashamed that I like it. Whatever, it might be on my myspace a little later...

...Speaking of myspace, I also watched part of VH1's "Best Celebrity Reality Show Fights" and one of them was between Flava Flav and New York's mom, Sister Patterson. While arguing, Sister Patterson pushed Flava Flav and this nigga proceeded to say, "Don't disrespect me in my house! This is my space, you in my computer." Needless to say, I laughed for about 11 minutes...

...My pre-season college football top 5 is: Georgia, Ohio State, USC, Florida and Oklahoma. That OSU-USC game on Sept. 15th and the Florida-Georgia game on Nov. 1st will be epic games. I think all five teams have a legit shot at the title, and I don't think we've had this many GREAT teams in the top five in a while. I'm excited...

...This morning this lady came in to get an ID card. Her name was Stacy Sue Box...

...I can probably bake a turkey in my car around 4:00 p.m. in Bakersfield. In the words of Celia, "It's hot as ten bitches out here..."

...Speaking of hilarious quotes, I was talking to my friend Carole last night and I told her that I choreographed all of the dances for America's Best Dance Crew and she said, "That explains why Mario Lopez is so gay." I laughed for 8 and a half minutes...

...Elton Brand looks like he's on DK mode on Nintendo 64's Goldeneye. That big ass head and those long ass arms did it...

...I know if I did this, my mom would have murdered me -- actually, I would have been dead long before he slapped her. Fucking fat kids man. I'm glad she didn't kill him though, it made for a great youtube clip. Dr.Phil is a fool...

...Speaking of birth control, Dathinline's second segment of "When Niggas Act a Fool," is just another reason for me to keep it 'wrapped up.' I'm not ready for that...

...Shot out to Wayne!...

...I'd like to introduce you to my next favorite point guard, Ricky Rubio straight outta Compton, Spain. Okay, so there's no Compton, Spain, but the dude is way too ill. Spain is taking over the sports world, and Ricky Rubio is going to be one of the main reasons why. Just remember, I called it first, when he's in the league, I get to use him first on NBA Live...

...John Sally said Baron Davis looks like Idi Amin and his dunk on AK74 was almost as good as a Funkadelic Record! It's too bad that Sally has been regulated to the Best Damn Sports Show Period because he could make one of the bigger networks a lot of money. I put him right up there with Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith on the comedy level -- in fact, I'd love to see him on the show with them. Oh, and Baron Davis is pretty damn hilarious himself...

...I obviously don't feel like writing anything with any kind of substance today...

...And this isn't even remotely worth reading, well, except for that fat kid slapping his mom...

...I think I'm done for the day...

...Oh, go Fanny Pack. They're beasts on America's Best Dance Crew...

Stay Hideous
-PB

(Word count to date: 36,365
64 days and 63,635 words to go)