How to be deleted from my friend's list: Part 1

Matthew Todd I just hit you with the Sea Turtle Pillow! You have 2 days to hit back, or you lose!
Matthew started a Pillow Fight with you.

Matthew has started a Pillow Fight with you! You can give up... or you can accept the challenge, pick your pillow and hit back! Let's see who wins!

4 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · » Hit Back «

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The above is not a joke. I really did have a friend on Facebook named Matthew Todd. And yes, this fucker really really tried to start a pillow fight with me via Facebook.

At first glance, I didn't really notice it, I just thought he posted some shit about sea turtles, but the second time I saw it, I was like, "What the fuck?!?"

I can't imagine me ever wanting to engage in a pillow fight, let alone with some dude who I really never talked to in high school. I mean, I knew who he was, so I accepted his friend request, but had I known he was going to be electronically pelting me with sea turtle pillows, I would have never added him to begin with.

I can't think of anything gayer than starting an electronic pillow fight. Actual gay people are less gay than electronic pillow fights. I don't think I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to start an electronic pillow fight with a girl, so there is no way in hell I'm going to tolerate some dude starting one with me. I mean, why would you even consider that shit? Why? I am at a loss for words.